On the verbodynamics of moving thoughts!

Shifted.

2008-11-10T23:43:00.002+05:30

I've moved to a new blog

I thank all the patient readers of Verbodynamics. I'm going to write regularly at my new blog. They may wish to subscribe to the RSS feeds of my new blog or continue to follow what I write at

www.noarbitrage.wordpress.com

Thanks

CB

Wooh

2008-09-12T00:42:00.001+05:30

I never thought I would ever get high on share price movements.
Fuck.
More later.

G

2008-07-04T00:29:00.002+05:30

Chennai - Mumbai.

End

2008-05-24T03:17:00.002+05:30

262
Psychedelic playing, sitting outside, nicotine, the yard long wing.

I look at CB/PR

No more.

Conversation

2008-04-20T14:25:00.004+05:30

Me: What do you think of a PhD?

Sis: No

Me: What??

Sis: I don't want to study for so long

Me: Why?

Sis: I'm acutely conscious of my mortality.

And she's in 11th Std.

JEE

2008-04-15T14:45:00.001+05:30

Hardly did I think in 2004, that four years hence I shall be weeding out my troubles with my friends on the morning of JEE. Nice.

Yeah

2008-04-13T18:25:00.003+05:30

Date : 07.04.08
Time: 2:45 AM

Restart

2008-03-18T23:35:00.002+05:30

Cleaned my room. Desktop.
Archived all the unread blogs in Google reader.
Stacked up a set of books.

A new beginning. More frequent blogging from now on, fellows! :-)
Long time since I've written anything that's made me feel good.

Two more months in IITM! :-(
This place is the best thing that has happened to me in life.

Right now, Fiber spinning. Over and out.

Ya.

2008-03-04T15:58:00.002+05:30

Officially done.
Trust is a liability, isn't it.
Fuck it.

How many times, how many times have I realized.

Fucking learn. Learn.

Ya.

2008-02-27T21:15:00.002+05:30

Tough times. I need to work to save my degree. Apart from what I've lost already.
I get this feeling that I'm a lone warrior, fighting the world.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2008-02-26T13:46:00.003+05:30

What a day!

KV got Caltech Fellowship!
And T Mani put intern 100kms from Amsterdam!

Shhtrrrrrrong boys!!

Of puns

2008-02-23T18:56:00.003+05:30

The South African cartoonist Zapiro apparently depicted a recent cartoon showing "George Bush's response to the Bird Flu - Bombing Turkey and the Canary Isles" :-)

And my sister's Social Board exam is coming up. In frustration she says "This is the most exasperating chapter I've ever read in history". Indeed.

Of hoardings and advertising

2008-02-11T02:42:00.000+05:30

I was thinking of this yesterday. It seems an idea worth trying out - for fun - after talking to Caesar.

A few advertising hoardings you see daily on the roads - have "Contact 98843..." written on them. The purpose is obviously simple - The contact number is that of the owner of the hoarding space. You call that number, pay the rent for a fixed period of time, and use the hoarding to put up whatever Ad you want.

Now, what if I decide to do this: I call up the guy, pay him the rent for (say) three months and get the permission to put up anything I want. I decide to retain the "Contact 98843..." on it, but change ONE digit in the number. For three months, people would call the number only to reach nowhere. After three months, when the owner actually puts his own number back, people wouldn't notice the difference and they'd stop calling. He would lose a lot of business, right?

How does it sound? :-)

Hmmm..

2008-02-08T12:10:00.000+05:30

Some sorta curse - I'm never loved as much as I love.
Aside, BTP fight starts.

Post

2008-02-03T12:08:00.000+05:30

A smart, well dressed man was sitting in the bar sipping Vodka after a long day at work.
She came along and sat next to him. They started talking. She was bloody hot. She asked him if he was single. He smiled, took a shot of Vodka and stretched her hand towards him. He took out a pen and wrote down a telephone number on her palm.

She winked at him, and he could see anticipation and happiness in her eyes.
He got out of the seat, told her 'That's my girlfriend's number', and walked off.

Poetry

2008-02-02T19:06:00.000+05:30

Poetry. I despise it. I do like some of it, but mostly, NO. I don't mean to sound mean (talk of poetry) in any of this, but reading poetry almost makes me feel my head getting heavier with Iron (III) Hydroxide. I'd ask a personal favor to anyone doing a psychology PhD or something - Please do a dissertation involving understanding a poet's (modern/medieval doesn't matter) mind. I would really like to know what the fuck goes on in their minds.

Less ironically sounding, metaphorical sense makes the most sense to me. Actually, that's the only thing which makes sense. Anything else => Iron(III) Hydroxide.

Poetry, they say, can be on any topic (especially after Renaissance when poets apparently showed the middle finger to the conservative old fellows, and started writing poems about everything). The world, human feelings, nature, life, well, alright, a whole list of things. I find it hard to think which amongst these is the worst. But my guess would be, um, I don't know.

Well, I accept I'm incapable of understanding poetry, but still, I don't get the point. How can these fellows (Note that Fellows has 'Fe' = Iron) write lines that make no sense? Oh, I get the point, you poetry lovers, it does make sense, but not to me right? Yes. I get it I get it. But I'm sorry. I can't smile at you and clap at you when you ask me to understand how beautiful it is when a stone talks to you or a bark of a tree signifies circles of life or when a snake tells you how not to go on a straight path and other such nonsense.

Some songs have wonderful lyrics, again, mostly metaphorical. I have no problems when poems or lines make sense. It's only when they talk of the obvious, or force you to see the beauty in stuff like what I just mentioned above, it's pissing off.

I was irrationally angry the other day when I suggested to KV, that we fill up two columns with pluses and minuses respectively, of poets to this world. I couldn't find a plus, but filled in 'Consume food' in the minuses.

Give me prose any day.

This post is a result of my frustration of having to go through some poetry of late.

Uncertainty

2008-01-17T15:24:00.000+05:30

Is everywhere, isn't it?

:-)

2007-12-23T20:39:00.000+05:30

Told my dad I drink. He asked me to be in control and be safe :-)
This is brilliant, I say!

Babba's status message

2007-12-13T22:54:00.000+05:30

May the M dv/dt be with you

It does

2007-11-29T11:24:00.001+05:30

It feels good to be back.

Pics

2007-11-26T22:52:00.001+05:30

This Pulitzer prize (2006) winning photograph shows two students of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras in one of the classes. The expression of helplessness on one student's face and the yawn on the other's shocked the entire world and humanity.

This is another Pulitzer Prize winning photograph that shows one student of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras collapse to a natural state of sleep in his classroom. The expression on the student's face and his desire to hug something (the back rest) portraying his inner suppressed desires, shocked the world.

Hmm

2007-11-19T17:12:00.000+05:30

If there's one thing IIT teaches you, which nothing else does, probably - It's stretching your mind - stretching the capacity of your mind to get fucked. You get fucked - You try to recuperate - You get fucked again. You get no time. Things hit you hard. You learn to smile, and come out.

Now doing

2007-11-11T21:21:00.000+05:30

Tensor Calculus :-)

Long time

2007-10-22T13:20:00.000+05:30

The Sensex is driving people out of their senses. Bhutto's People's Party clearly doesn't appeal to all the people. Lewis Hamilton needs tons of luck in his life. What's right without a left, they say. Couldn't be truer in today's world. Ditch all that. Let's get to some inputs from my side to the world.

1. Never take short to and fro walks on a street.

I did this a couple of days ago when I dropped my sister at the Dentist's place. I was waiting outside, and for lack of a better thing to do, I decided to take short walks - back and forth, and did so for a while, till I realized someone was giving me company. I looked beside, and there it was, a nice dog. It seemed like it (he/she) had discovered this new dimension in life - Back and forth walking. I stopped, waited for a minute. I started walking, and it started too. I stopped, and yes, it did, too. And then it looked up at me. (I love it when I'm so tall, the angle of inclination at which these small things look at me gives me a kick, like I'm something they look up to, really. Like I was three feet away approximately, which makes it, um, arctan(2). Pretty decent). I decided there was only one way I was going to get rid of it without scaring it. I stopped, took steps sideways (perpendicular to my original direction). It was confused, and it walked away. I felt proud.

2. IQs of RJs

I was on a nice drive, and I made a mistake. I turned the radio on, and I had to hear RJs stuttering away - with words losing their identity, and only sentences having theirs. As in, usually, an alphabet is the tiniest bit you can break down anything to, but for RJs, it's a sentence. It is, gentlemen, a fucking sentence! No, you may not have the right to listen to, or discern words that make them up. Only sentences. And, right from branding 'Kadhal' (love) as success or failure as if it were a race, to high degree illogical statements like Kadhal illamai Vazhkaye Illai ('Without love, there is no life'. I thought it was the other way around), the RJs just prove the Logarithmic IQ law of the universe. The Logarithmic IQ law (Courtesy PBK) states that there are two sets of people in this world.

Set 1: IQ1 = 100 to 160+, IQ1 = Integer
Set 2: IQ2 = log (IQ1)

These RJs are part of Set 2, with logarithmic IQs.

3. Never eat your favourite sweet and drive a car.

Never, ever, do this. It's dangerous. Like this time, when I had a small box of Kaju Burfis to keep me busy while driving. The thought process, went something like this (in a span of 10 seconds)

This Kaju burfi is brilliant - Oh, where's the brake - How can something be so good - Where the hell is the brake - Wow, wow, wow - Ah, there is the brake - Fuck, this is awesome, haven't tasted stuff like this before - Oh, there's something ahead - This is just melting in my mouth. Wow - Oh, that something is coming closer - I should buy more of these - Ok, why is the car ahead coming closer - This rocks - Ok, I need to do something, it's coming too close - Oh, shit, no, I'm going towards it - Wow, I love this again - I think I should brake - Kaju Burfi man, fuck. Pack brake - Oh no, it's a meter away - Oh, apply the brakes - Yumm, Yumm - Shit, I'm gonna bang into it - Brak...Yumm. BRAKE...

4. A Certain Professor

I heard from a MTech student here, that a certain well known senile professor of the design department in Mechanical Engineering here living his last days (Clue: Invert dasarpaviS) gives problems in exams of the following nature.

Original Problem (In a book) - ' Tom and Harry carry out a stress analysis on a beam of the following shape...... They find the critical tangential stresses to be 10 and 20 MPa. They further go on..... Dick joins them and finds out that they've missed out on the normal components of the forces. He corrects them.....'

Problem in the Exam: ' Senthil and Palaninathan carry out a stress analysis on a beam of the following shape...... They find the critical tangential stresses to be 10 and 20 MPa. They further go on..... Panneerselvam joins them and finds out that they've missed out on the normal components of the forces. He corrects them.....'

Creativity, they call it.

5. Advertising

There are so many schools today that teach advertising, the art of advertising, and the different forms of advertising. Advertisers today are moving on to subtlety, capturing emotions, spreading a strong message, developing a brand as a relation, etc. But, my dear friends, there are many who choose to think otherwise, and advertise in the most kuntriest fashion.

Well, I define Kuntryness in advertising to be this:

Kuntryness - Directly Proportional to -> T1/T2

(Or) Kuntryness Ratio = k T1/T2

Where k = Proportionality Constant
T2 = Total duration of the advertisement
T1 = Time duration when the brand name is read out

For instance, an average Ad, say a Ford Ad, would be of a minute's duration, with Ford coming for 3-4 seconds towards the end. The Kuntriness Ratio for a Ford Ad = 1/15 (Take k=1)

Consider the following Ad, which I heard on the radio the other day (It was in Tamil, I'm trying to translate it into English here)

'Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for your mom. Saravana Stores for your dad. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for your brothers and sisters. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for Deepavali. Saravana Stores for Sarees. Saravana Stores for Jewelery. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for everything. Come visit. Saravana Stores. Pondy Bazaar, T Nagar. Saravana Stores. Yes, you heard it right, Saravana Stores. '

Kuntryness Ratio would be nearly 1. Fucking one! I mean, what the Sarafuckingvana is this? I swear, if at all I have enough money sometime in the future, I'm going to do a leveraged buyout of Saravana Stores and close it down.

6. Cosmozone

An Ad on Mount Road for a brand of Clothing, Cosmozone, caught my attention, even when I was driving.

Getting to the point, are we?

Fuck

2007-10-07T04:54:00.001+05:30

Fuck everything in life man. Fuck it. Fuck fuck fuck it.

Fuck it.

Bisi

2007-09-11T10:51:00.000+05:30

I've been busy for the last few days, or at least would like to claim so - for the larger good of mankind. As proof, you could consider the dreams I've been having. Lately, I don't seem to be seeing people, things, nothing. I seem to be reading only sentences.

Like I frequently read 'However, the candidate is expected to demonstrate his/her competence in all the three sections'. Then I fucking start breaking open the seal in my dream, only to find nothing. Then someone laughs at me, and I can't see who. But it sounds familiar. Ditch.

I also usually see 'Sorry, we will not be able to participate owing to lack of funds'. (Ironic, as that may sound. I mean, what the hell - Owing to lack of funds?)

Cha, bad.

Hmm

2007-08-13T02:15:00.002+05:30

Now, there seems to be a small problem (?) I have.

I realize that there has almost never been a moment in my life when I've sat back and thought 'I've achieved something' and have felt really happy about it.

What is this supposed to mean? Is this good? Is this bad?

Hmm, whatever.

Um

2007-08-07T19:14:00.000+05:30

7th, it is.

@all: Ditch it. Arbit post.

8RF

2007-08-04T18:09:00.000+05:30

My good friend and Cockas had tagged me quite some time back, and I conveniently chose to ignore it - flatly telling the world that I was too busy. I usually don't like lying, so here I am, responding to the tag.

Here are the rules:

Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

8RF about me:

1. I have given my parents enough reasons to believe (forcibly, perhaps) that I'm one screwed up kid they have. It all started with U.K.G, when I proposed to a girl in school. I was expecting a better reaction to a 'I love you' than the girl walking straight home and telling my mom about it. If I seriously meet his girl now (That I don't remember her much makes it rather impossible), I would like to clarify to her that I didn't really mean it then and she should stop taking things seriously in life.

2. I was a naughty kid at School. I've got sent out of class more number of times than I can remember, I'd been suspended in 9th Std for laughing at a teacher's torn Saree (at an objectionable spot) and many more such memorable incidents. Some teachers also used to have a problem with me using their full names directly in the articles I used to write in the 'writing' section of the English paper. It was embarrassing to them, apparently. For instance, I remember I wrote a short story in an English exam where I based the story on a kidnapping incident with our PT teacher as the kidnapper. I really loved writing the story, but didn't really like the scolding that followed.

3. I've had great problems with my braces, when I had them. I've broken my incisors during volleyball, I've had my lips stuck between the braces once, etc etc so much so that my dentist told me openly that I was one of the 'strangest' and 'most difficult' patients he had had. I'm morbidly afraid of braces now.

4. I consider logic to be one of the main guiding principles of my life. Everything has to be logical to me, has to 'make sense'. Otherwise I get really pissed and sometimes can't stand it. Though I've had people arguing with me suggesting that things are not entirely logical in the world. I somehow find that tough to comprehend. I wouldn't want to be a logician or anything, but I'd largely want to use logic in my professional career - whatever may be the situation. I think it's one of the best things in this world, right now.

5. I am called 'Database' by some people. The reason for this follows. I grew up wanting to be in IIT, largely because of my dad and his constant glorification of the place and imbibing this feeling into me that I should be here or nowhere else. Harmoniously, I too developed that passion for IIT, and specifically JEE. I religiously used to follow all the JEE toppers' names - those that used to come in papers etc. I just used to relate to JEE so much in life, that it was pretty laughable. One of the most memorable incidents regarding this has been the following:

Incident : Ragging in my freshie year - At Gurunath - Torso, Mahanama etc

Torso, to me: So tell me, have you heard of AT? (AT is Arvind Thiagarajan, IITM batch of 2005 - JEE 2001 topper)

Me: Of course

Torso: What of course? How do you know him?

Me: He was AIR 1 in 2001

Torso: Oh, so you're some big stud eh? All JEE 1 and all you know. Bastard. Tell me, who was AIR 1 in 99?

Me: Abhinav Kumar. He's now at Harvard

Torso: !!. 97?

Me: Arvind Sararf

Torso: Wtf! 95?

Me: Subash Ajit Khot

Torso: Floored

Don't blame me. I'm really passionate about a few things

6. One thing I just cannot do in life is to be Average. I always have this urge in me to be the best in whatever I do, and I feel miserable if I'm not. Of late, I've understood that this urge in me is not entirely practical - So I've begun to accept compromises - However, I would still want to be the best.

7. I always look for humor in life - Day to day incidents - People. To me, a person is lifeless is he/she is not funny. And I've increasingly started to dislike people who do not appreciate humor and like those who do. To me, that's something that can keep you going anytime.

8. I'm a big big Pink Floyd fan. To give you an example, I really plan to have Floyd playing in the background during my wedding reception (when_ever I get married, that is)

I don't tag anyone.

Hmm

2007-07-24T11:45:00.000+05:30

Life's been nice to me of late; Intern was nice, college's about to start in a week's time. It feels really good to be back home. One of the things I sorely sorely missed during my intern, was the spam folder in my Gmail Account. There they were, hundreds of them ranging from 'Nobody likes it if you fake it' - to - 'Become really big' - to - 'How grown are you' - it is just too trippy to read all these and keep deleting them.

Also I've discovered that GRE is one of the most pointless exams I'll be giving - Makes no sense at all to just mug words like we used to mug big big answers in School.

And I'm really contemplating whether to close this blog.

Hi!

2007-06-29T19:18:00.000+05:30

Hi guys, girls, Makam and others

I've not been able to post anything of late. Blogger's blocked at my intern place. Apparently, one can always choose to blog away company secrets to the world if he/she wants.

Will post soon! Till then, take care and have fun!

Hmm

2007-05-02T01:08:00.000+05:30

Scene: Me studying something seriously

My sis to me: Are you concentrating and studying?

Me: Of course

She: Ya, so you're not.

Ironic isn't it, that you can never say I'm concentrating while you're actually concentrating, unless of course, the only thing you're concentrating on are the words I'm concentrating. Even then, Blah.

Crack!

2007-04-30T00:31:00.000+05:30

I've been wanting to post this for a long time. This post is dedicated to Aunty

A few days back, last month perhaps, it was a hot afternoon on one not so particularly enjoyable day. Now, what usually happens on a hot afternoon? A class of course! So it was. Maiya jabbering his usual set of disjointed words which were begging to be connected. I was expectedly seated in the last bench, appreciating many fine things like Maiya's good fortune that made him a prof at IITM etc etc. Sania and Aunty were sitting beside me on either side.

Maiya went on talking. I was half asleep. Maiya then wrote some shite on the board. Who cared.
The board was a good seven meters away. Suddenly Aunty sorta wakes me up, points to the board and asks me 'Macha, what does that look like to you?'.

I turn to the board and ask him 'What're you talking about?'

He replies 'That formula written there'.

I then looked up to find a formula which was written on the board

Well, it actually looked slightly different. It was Maiya's handwriting of course that made the difference. The actual one looked similar to this (Thanks to Caesar for making this in Photoshop :D)

Now, I looked at it and burst laughing. It was an absolute crack! Brilliant! Seven meters away a professor wanting to profess some serious stuff writes a formula involving an exponential function, hoping to get a response like Oh-my-God-Where-the-fuck-did-e power rt-come-in-refrigeration. Instead, you have good engineers, with hawk eyes that can spot beauty seven meters away!

This was one of the best cracks I had ever seen.

For those who still haven't got the beauty of the pic, shame on you. Eat a rat and take a closer look.

Skd

2007-04-29T12:56:00.000+05:30

Apart from the numerous atrocities we've had to undergo in Mech through many preposterous acts by the aged people of IITM, there are a few gems too. Sample this: Skd, who said this in one of the classes:

'I have no reason to believe in God. But when I realize that one of the most efficient heat exchangers ever made in the past or the present is our throat, I have a strong reason to believe in God'.

Yes, it is indeed true. If you were living in a cold place with a room temperature of -10 deg, the air at that temperature could kill you. In microseconds, before the air reaches your lungs, the upper respiratory system acts as a regenerative heat exchanger (similar to fluidized bed) and brings the temperature to the body temperature. Brilliance.

Dear

2007-04-27T11:23:00.000+05:30

To:

Madarmugam

CC: Madarprasad, MadarRao
BCC: Solar

Sirs

Sub: Reminding you of your senility

I would like to introduce myself as your killer to be. Take care.

Sincerely

CB

Wallpaper

2007-04-21T22:41:00.000+05:30

My new wallpaper - 10 MW Solar power plant in California. Beauty ain't it?
Imagine sitting on the receiver and looking around!

Ooh

2007-04-19T22:23:00.000+05:30

Oh yes, it's been quite a while since there has been any Verbodynamics on this page. Indeed. You should really understand, it's not my fault. Circumstances have caused the same. India was out of the World cup, and for a few days my hands objected to type out any word which had the letters I, N, D, I, A, W, O, R, L, D, C, U, P, H, A, R, B, H, A, J, H, A, N, Y, U, V, R, A, J, S, E, H, W, A, G, etc etc. Don't call me an idiot. I tried my best, till my hand spoke to me one night in my not so sweet dream, telling me that if I dared to write against it's wish, it would write my Power Plant Engineering End semester exam in Hindi. Now, why would I want to take such a risk. So, I let a few days pass by, till it was all fine, when something else happened: Supreme court stay order. Now, after this news came out, I had to spend a few days understanding the Indian judiciary, and to what extent the Supreme court judges can misuse their power (for instance, their personal vengeance against men with blue turbans and revealing Kurtas, etc) , because of which, again, I could never blog. I almost understood it perfectly, and was all ready to venture out to blog when I realized that I needed something else to blog, something essential, which wasn't with me. Come on, smartie. Of course, I'm talking about time. (Haa haa, I made you bulb). It took a few days, when I finally got what was necessary - the time to blog. I started blogger and was about to start posting, when a bad habit of mine played spoilsport : Often, I suddenly get the urge to read news. So, I opened a new Tab, and clicked on IBN. And lo, what I found there was a nice front page article and video of Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty. Now, I again spent some time on analyzing that video, if it was morphed, or if it was really Gere kissing her, or someone like Himesh wearing a wax figure of Gere, etc. That took a couple of days, and I again lost time to write. Then my hand came to the rescue again. Yesterday night it again spoke to me in my dream, and told me that if I didn't blog today, it would write my Power plant engineering exam today. So, I just had to blog.

Brilliant people

2007-03-22T00:11:00.000+05:30

I have been fortunate enough to encounter and interact with brilliant minds with the passage of time. I just thought I'd pen them down. In no particular order, these are the four best minds I've met :

1. Nema

Good friend and classmate at BASE during JEE times. Nema was the guy who was at a completely different level altogether, which we just had to accept. There was no point, absolutely NO point in trying to reach him. We just had to give up and awe at him. I still remember the Physics tests where most of us would score 40-50 on 100 and be elated, and there he would come, with a score of 85, beating the second highest by 35-40 marks flat. He was an absolute God in Physics; his understanding would be completely different; he could learn physics on his own. One of his beauties after which we were left amazed, I remember, was a SHM problem from a FIITJEE test, which none of us got as it was conceptually confusing. Here was our man, explaining to me a macroscopic SHM problem with springs from a microscopic level, atoms colliding - energy transfer in different axis - Motion - SHM. And it turned out to be right! Mother of God! None of us were surprised when the man put AIR 10.

2. Shreevatsa

Another good friend of mine, who also reads my blogs and comments regularly. I don't have much to say about him except for the fact that I decided long back never to solve problems with him; it would humiliate me, make me feel like I should go back to first standard. There was one speciality in him - The problems we all (mere mortals) could solve, he would take almost the same time, and sometimes slightly more. The problems we used to brand as impossible to solve, or just let it go, he would always solve it in less than a couple of minutes. Such are his brains, such is Vatsa, and I'm proud of him.

3. Prahalad Rao a.k.a PR

My Organic Chemistry prof at BASE, for JEE. Well, it seemed to us that God himself had sent him to earth to teach people Organic Chemistry. I mean, how, how how how could a man be SO strong in a subject? Amongst a million miracles PR pulled off in front of us, this was one, just ONE:

There was a problem in Seyhan Ege : Complete the reaction. And two of the reactants were given. I don't remember the reactants, but they were huge with many functional groups that could all react amongst themselves; Siva and I broke our heads so badly for an entire day and couldn't solve it. The answer was given at the end of the book, and the answer was: No reaction. We wondered and wondered, how the hell could there be no reaction when there were SO many functional groups, acidic and basic sites? We decided to make the final move : Go to PR. However, we decided NOT to take the book to him, and copied the problem down on a sheet. Next day, we went. And this is what happened.

Me: Sir, I have a problem. I'm not able to find the products of the reaction (Showed him)

PR: Hmm. (Thinks for 5-6 seconds. Has a look)

PR: This is a bit tricky. But I would say there is no reaction.

Me and Siva: (Wtf Wtf Wtf! How the Fuck)

Me: How sir?

PR: Well, this compound will have pKa of around 6, the other one around pKa 13, so they wont react.

4. Ananthasuresh

I have only two words for him: Raw Genius. Well, I was here at IIT, and I didn't (fortunately or unfortunately) meet many people who I could awe at, like Nema or Vatsa, or PR. That was true till last summer. Till I reached IISc, and met Suresh. It was time again for me to realize how the world is gifted with brilliant people. The difficulty with research (from my limited knowledge) is this: When you encounter a conceptual hurdle, you usually HAVE to solve it yourself, simply because such a conceptual problem at an intermediate stage of research cannot be solved by anyone else unless they are researching on exactly the same topic. In other words, unless someone's working on EXACTLY the same stuff as you, it becomes very difficult for him/her to help you overcome a hurdle, again, simply because he/she would not know what the intricacies are, and the real reason you're stuck. Now, typically this is what would happen: I would work on a problem for 1-2 days, putting full fight. I would reach a certain stage, where I would be stuck. Stuck conceptually. I would try my best to move forward, but it wouldn't happen. I would then meet him to discuss. I would keep talking, explaining what I had done, and there he was - Understanding every little detail. Think of it, he could understand at the speed at which I spoke. At the end of it, he would just smile, and tell me where exactly I went wrong, and how I should proceed from then on. I can't even explain to you the feeling I got during these times. Either it's my inability to express, or it's beyond expressible. The feeling was so great, that to the shock of a few of my friends, I started telling them 'Man, I want to do a PhD here'. Of course it was momentary bliss, but bliss it was.

I'm just hoping I keep meeting people like these throughout life. It gives me a kick. It makes me happy. It humbles me. It makes me think. Think of how I can reach somewhere close to them.

Multi dimensional scaling

2007-03-16T18:58:00.000+05:30

I appreciate certain things; adore some. One of these is Bell Labs. The things they do in there, amazing. People work on Robotics and end up writing papers in Psychology. Such was the case a couple of decades back, when a publication (and a small book) came out of Bell Labs, which read 'Multi Dimensional Scaling'. Brilliance, I tell you.

The aim of MDS is simple: Get uncertainty closer to certainty. And when I talk about uncertainty, it's not the quantum world or probability in that sense. It's uncertainty in decisions; when you do not have enough parameters to evaluate, you try reaching a decision based on what you know, however limited it may be. A simpler way to put it would be: Identifying the similarities and the dissimilarities. The best part about this is the fact that people in Bell Labs introduced it in the field of Psychology and explained it's applications. It went on to be a part of Marketing, Data mining, Cognitive Sciences, Psychometrics, Operations Research, what not. A seminar was presented on this by one of the research students when I was there in the IISc Lab.

Take a simple example: I give you three cities, and the distances between any two of them (in pairs). These distances have been measured by an incorrect distance meter. Your job is to find out the actual distance between cities. In case of three cities, you just draw the triangle and get done with it! Now I increase the number of cities to four, and give you distances in pairs. Note that when we add a city, we add three more distances. Which means that for pin pointing the fourth city, three circles have to meet at a point. Which may not, and in most cases, will not be the case. Adding one more city making it five needs four circles to meet at a point, which is even more improbable. This goes on, where for a n city situation, n-1 circles need to meet at a point, for every city. Of course, we know that the distance meter is incorrect, otherwise all distances would be perfect. Hence, we optimize with a so called stress function, which is similar to standard deviation, to obtain pairs of distances, which agree to a reasonable extent with the incorrect meter, overall. We thus obtain how similar the distance meter is, to the actual distance between two cities.

The application of this in Psychology for instance, or psychometric tests is remarkable. Consider an example, where you write a psychometric test. There is no right/wrong in such tests, we know. However, after your responses are registered, an algorithm similar to MDS would be run, with your answers mapped to 'distances' in a certain way, to see how your answers vary from one another. It's like saying: Even if the distance meter is incorrect, MDS gives all distances with errors in distances of different pairs being similar. This however, is true only when the distance meter is uniformly incorrect. Similarly, it doesn't matter whether you're a baby or a terrorist. If you lie in certain questions, in which case you're not being uniformly a terrorist or a baby, the clash in responses gives a high relative error amongst all questions. In which case you get screwed. So never lie.

And Bell Labs rocks.

Update: Regarding the previous post, if you happened to think I was serious, and hence asked me to get a life, or cursed me, please please please, I was joking.

Perfectly competitive markets

2007-02-28T19:10:00.000+05:30

I'm taking a basic Economics course as part of Humanities credits this semester. We were discussing monopoly and perfectly competitive markets. The prof was writing down the conditions when we classify a market as perfectly competitive, when it struck me that prostitution is a nearly perfect example of a perfectly competitive market. I told this to Spanky too, who was sitting beside me. There is free entry for everyone to enter the market, there are infinite buyers and sellers, each seller might have a unique selling point, and one buyer or seller cannot influence the price.

CAT vs JEE

2007-02-26T16:47:00.000+05:30

It's ridiculous how people even compare CAT to JEE.
JEE's infinitely tougher. You can get up one fine day, brush your teeth, crap and go write CAT and still make it to the IIMs. JEE? Nice try.

Prison break

2007-02-24T21:04:00.000+05:30

Rocks!

Woi

2007-02-21T23:28:00.000+05:30

We are taught many times over that productivity plays an important part in development. Well, we acknowledged that when we learnt it, but if you really want to appreciate it or understand why what when how etc, a good opportunity for you is to conduct a case study on the comments section in many news items in leading television channels. On going through, one really gets an answer to the mysterious question: How jobless can one get? If you think sitting on Mount road eating paan all day is the answer, you're way off.

For instance, take a typical random sample for the experiment, a news item in a leading television channel's website; an interview with Robin Uthappa on the upcoming world cup. First up, you have one chap who says that being in the Indian team is an unfair deal for Laxman, and that Kaif should not be dropped because he is the second wall of India. Another guy chooses a cryptic way of replying, saying 'I don't think not taking Sehwag is not wrong'. Should tell him, I don't think not using too many negatives does not make a sentence not easily understandable. Next, another guy says 'I'll promise India will be in Semi finals, and 95 percent chance that they're in finals'. I don't get it at all: Why does he want to promise? As if this isn't enough, he goes on 'If India is in the finals, I promise you India is going to win'. I promise you, I had a tough time controlling myself when I read this. Another guy makes a pertinent observation 'Robin Uthappa is inexperienced. So what he says in the interview doesn't matter'. Well, your comment also doesn't matter boss, does it? One more guy asks us to 'mark his words that India will win the cup'. Yes sir, marked them. Finally, a comment reads 'Robin and Ganguly make a wonderful pair. May god bless this couple'. Indeed, we hope. He adds 'May all gods get together and bless all the players with their hands on players. May gods bless Sehwag too'.

You get the picture.

Rotfl

2007-02-20T17:44:00.000+05:30

Wimpy's new post which made me Rotfl!

Forecast

2007-02-18T02:16:00.000+05:30

My forecast for the week, rightly taken from The Week reads:

Look out for favours from the government. This might boost your income. You will have a pleasant journey and a happy married life. Your public relations skills will stand you in good stead. Your social and financial graph will soar. A good relationship with officers will lead to a mutually beneficial enterprise. You will gain respect from your subordinates. Invest wisely.

What the fuck.

I should've written a forecast to the guy who wrote this:

Look out for insults and life threats from the general public and bloggers. This might boost your morale, although it will strongly decrease your life expectancy. You will have a pleasant death, and a happy dead life. Your public relations skills will bring you back alive as you will negotiate successfully with Yama. Your oxygen supply vs time graph will soar. A healthy relationship with the opposite sex will lead to a healthy baby. Invest in sanitary ware.

Simplicity

2007-02-02T19:53:00.000+05:30

I tend to wonder what the purpose of complicating an issue is, when a simple solution exists.
For example, take the Butterfly effect (movie). They've tried so sincerely to explain the concept and its significance only to confuse people. Now take a typical Tamil movie (Aayitha Ezhuthu for instance) when a mini riot starts off in a scene. You have n distinct people in a room (A1,A2...An say, and by distinct, we mean they do not have anything in common, like they're not part of a group or something). A certain guy (A1 say) while talking to another guy (A2 say) hits him. This results in a random person Ai performing a scan around him to find the nearest guy (Aj say) and Ai and Aj start to fight (Note, Ai and Aj are distinct elements who do not know each other before). A definite set of solutions of ordered pairs (i,j) exists that constitutes the entire set of n people (n should be preferably even). However, please note that there need not be ordered pairs only, for if Aj is the closest to Ai, it does not imply that Ai is the closest to Aj. There might be an Ak who is closest to Aj, hence all the three Ai,Aj and Ak will fight. Thus, there can be triplets (i,j,k) , quadruplets(i,j,k,l), or in the limiting case, the whole set of n people (This might happen when all the n are in a line and the successive distances are like in an AP or something). So, what's happening is nothing but the Butterfly effect. In fact, it's so simple: Get all the people of the world together and make one guy hit someone. The whole world is in a world war. And as I type this, I realize that this scene could also be used to explain convection (bulk behavior), but ah, I'm lazy to draw the exact analogy.
Be simple.

An engagement

2007-01-12T18:49:00.000+05:30

It was a cold winter night. Robin got down from his car, and held the door open for three more people who followed his act. They were all in suits, making passersby wonder what four people were doing in suits at that time of the day. Robin looked a little angry on the outside. But only he knew how happy he was today. God doesn't give a day like this to many people, he thought. He was right. He signalled to his colleagues to carry on, while he waited there. He lit a cigarette and took a drag. It was divine, on this cold night. He saw a long limo coming in. It halted, and a beautiful young girl got down. She looked intelligent. She was also in a suit.
'Ivy, what took you so long. Don't you ever be on time?', groaned Robin.
'When have you ever stopped shouting at me', came the reply.

They were at the headquarters of General Motors, Worldwide. He was leading a team of strategy consultants, which was hired by GM; its Board of Directors to be precise. He belonged to, what people called 'The firm'. He was the senior most in the team, with the junior most being Ivy, who was just recruited from Harvard Junior College last year, as a Business analyst.

He had a reputation to live up to. He had a reputation to live up to today even otherwise. Robin and Ivy walked steadily, till they entered the main office building. They walked through the posh main reception into the main hallway. He forgot where he had to go. He signalled to Ivy
'Give me your phone'.
'What happened to yours?', asked Ivy.
'Never mind, give me yours', he said.
She reluctantly handed over her phone to him, and he made a call.
An old, baritone voice was on the other end. It was that of the CEO of GM, Mr Quazito.
'Yes. Tell me. Where are you?', came the voice.
'This is Robin here. I'm near the reception. Which floor and room was it? It just slipped my mind'
'22nd floor, M121', came the reply, sharply.
'Alright'. Man, he doesn't have to be so blunt, Robin thought.

Both of them went into the elevator, and were headed for the 22nd floor. They got out, and went into Room number M121. It was like a conference hall, a small but well equipped hall. There was light music playing in the background. Eight people were sitting around a table. Three of them from Robin's team, and five from GM, their client. At the centre sat the CEO, Mr Quazito, with a sheepish grin on his face. Next to him was a beautiful lady, charming to say less. She seemed to radiate exuberance. Her name was Jenny.

People had heard stories about Quazito. He was a strict strict man. A guy who had tolerated no nonsense. A guy who needed facts, not fiction. He was difficult to handle, Robin had been told. One had to be extremely polite to him, at the same time convey the hard facts. That was always the difficult part of a consultant's role. But Robin never seemed to give a damn. Four weeks back, he was almost the only one who accepted this engagement, while many others in his position were weary. The three others in his team were nervous.

'Alright, let me do the introduction part', Robin raised his voice.
'We're five of us tonight, who'll be working with GM for a few months to come; myself Robin; Richie, Joseph, Zarr, and Ivy', he said, pointing to the others.
The charming lady, Jenny, spoke out next.
'Hello everybody. Firstly, I would like to mention that we're all eager and happy to be working with you guys on this. We hope to have a good time, and let this period be an example to GM for many years to come. In a lighter vein, we also want to see how you guys think. Four of us tonight, our CEO, Mr Quazito, Mr Haze, Mr Stoeker, and myself, Jenny. So, we can start.'

The meeting had formally begun. It was initially the CEO, Mr Quazito who spoke.
'Right. It's 8 now. Lets get this all wound up by 10. Firstly lets address the problem we have at hand. Actually, multiple problems. Well, since you seem a bunch of smart guys, let me tell me you the problem immediately. We're losing millions of dollars on budgets in Research and Development we've been conducting, rejection rate per million on many parts which we're developing newly is going up, almost doubling every month, and sales figures are dropping in many countries as a whole, and the manufacturers from where we source many parts are increasing their rates, there has been a 10 percent reduction in our workforce last quarter, and union strikes twice every month, which is crippling the entire process. All these data are illustrated in these sheets.' He passed on the sheets to Robin.

There was silence. Jenny seemed to give a smile, as if to say 'Yeah, you smarties. Think you're smart? Handle this then'. Ivy seemed to look up to Robin, as if she were clueless. The main four in the team took some time to appreciate the problem. Robin repeated the problem, as if he wanted to memorize it. He was thinking. He went through the sheets Mr Quazito handed over to him.

'Alright', was the only word which came out of Robin.

'So it seems we have quite a few problems at hand. Why don't we split them first, and see which of them are interdependent'. He went to the board nearby, drawing six big bubbles with the six problems to be tackled. Then he drew arrows between the bubbles which were related. The only bubble which had arrows to all the bubbles was the problem 'Sales reduction'. 'So, we handle all the independent problems separately, and the main problem gets solved.'

This seemed such an obvious statement, but somehow, the drawing on the board had simplified the process. Everyone was thinking clear now. Robin had done the initial tiny bit to get people started off.

'Now, firstly, we need to address the main problem - R&D'. 'How many people does the main R&D centre have?', asked Robin.
Jenny went though a couple of sheets she had, and came out with the number. 'What's the amount of money that was spent on R&D last year?', was the next question, which was answered immediately. A couple of questions followed, all answered by Jenny, who seemed to have all the facts ready. She handed over a summary of the R&D work that was going on for the past few months.

Robin was shocked to see the summary. Clearly, the CEO, with his board of directors, wasn't thinking twice about allotting money for research. Most of it was unnecesary. The output obtained was much lesser than per capita money spent.

'Who decides the money spent on R&D, Mr Quazito?', asked Robin.
'Well, it's only us. But we encourage research and cutting edge work going on. So whenever anyone in our R&D department asks us for funds, we never say no. It's a culture we encourage, and we don't mind doing so', came the reply, sharply again.
'Well, it's foolish to continue this way', said Robin.

The others were stunned. This was never the way anyone spoke to a CEO. Was Robin nuts? Well, whatever, the statement was delivered, and that was all that mattered. It was out, well into Mr Quazito's ears for years to come. Robin explained what was going wrong in the R&D department, and said 'We need to start with the analysis of R&D department tomorrow, to see what's doing the job and what's not'.

'Jenny, I need a detailed report, of all the research that goes on, with the people in R&D who're heading it'. He seemed to order her already! A discomfort crept into the members of Robin's team, which Robin seemed to notice. 'Relax guys', was all he said.

'Next, let's analyse the problem of workforce reduction.'
'Mr Quazito, what do you think is the reason for this?'
'Well, frankly, no idea', came the reply. It's after all for you guys to find out.
'You haven't had the time to speak to people, or conduct a survey amongst people for the past few months?', asked Robin.
'No'.
Again, this was just too blunt a question one could pose to a CEO of General Motors.
Robin instructed something to Ivy, and she took down notes. They had to get some sort of a feedback form ready, but this was tricky. Robin wanted to get the workers' exact state of mind. He had to sit and prepare the questions himself.

Next, they had a brainstorming session, with each person throwing in ideas to attack the problem in different ways. Robin was continuously scribbling in a notepad. This went on for a while.

'Right, I think its time we wind up now', said Mr Quazito.
'Yup. We'll meet again on Monday morning. Happy weekend all of you', said Robin.
They walked out one after the other. Four of them stayed back in the room: Robin, Ivy, Quazito and Jenny.

Robin walked towards Jenny, and leaned his head forward, close to her face. He whispered to her 'This dress turns me on. Why don't you have it on while we're in bed tonight?', and he gave her a kiss.

'Ivy, take dad home. I'll come home a little later. We're going for dinner', said Robin.

'Yes, my son. But be careful. It's pretty late', came the baritone voice.

'Oh, don't worry dad. I'll take care'.

Inspiration

2007-01-08T19:52:00.000+05:30

I always feel there's a higher level to a situation when two people hit off well. There comes a strong bonding between them. It's not friendship. It's not love. Probably a mixture of both. Just a connection between the two.

How often do you come across a person in life who has this sort of a connection with you. A person who can inspire you. A person who can teach you. A person who can make you think. A person who can make you effortlessly awe at him. A person who can make you work 24 hours a day. A person who comes in your dreams. A person who makes you feel that you've known him for a long long time. A person who tells you how to use each second of a minute. A person whose life you would want to mimic. A person you crack jokes with. A person whose sense of humor releases those minute stress pockets in your body stored for a long time. A person with impeccable language. A person who tells you how to distinguish a mathematician's english from a physicist's. A person who teaches you to write scripts for child plays. A person you wish would be by your side for your entire life. A person, you can only pray to be.

Ah, Suresh, what a Godsend.

1Q

2006-12-22T18:45:00.000+05:30

At some stage of life, I might be with a company and might come to the insti for recruitment. I was thinking of questions I would ask students. Yes, my tactic would be this: First find out the branch of the interviewee, and then base a single question on that branch. Would be good enough I suppose.

Computer Science - Answer all my questions in 0s and 1s. First question, what's your name?

Electrical - Show me an electron. Also, demonstrate to me how you will explain the concept of junction potential to a snake in front of you.

Mechanical: Draw the free body diagram under dynamic conditions, of the air molecule at a distance of 10cm from your retina. Clearly indicate the reaction forces. You may not assume continuum. Also, explain the action of a dust particle as a microturbine to the air molecule you just analysed.

Chemical - Explain the role of CFD in waste water management.

Engineering Physics - I'm going to select you only if you are in the top 10 percent of your class. Are you?

Aerospace - You must have done an Airplane Design course. Replace air by water and tell me the design procedure. Answer in brief and be accurate.

BioTech - Do you like drugs? If yes, explain why. If no, convince me that your answer will not change even upon the action of Sodium Thiopental

Civil - Look at the ceiling. Assuming we sit here forever, tell me, how long will it take for the ceiling to fall on us. Think mathematically.

Metallurgy - If you have 1kg of metal on one hand and 1kg of non metal on the other hand, which will itch more? Explain using any theorem you've studied.

Naval Architecture - You must have done a Ship Design course. Replace water by air and tell me the design procedure. Answer in brief and be accurate.

Woosh

2006-12-08T13:22:00.000+05:30

So here I am in Bangalore again. It's been a couple of days, with interesting incidents.

1. It started with my train journey: Kaveri Express. My seat number was 56; Side upper berth. (55 was the Side lower berth). As I got into the train, I walked, rather hunched towards the other side as my height seemed to deny me any sight below 4 feet. I finally found my seat number. I also found a guy sitting in my seat. There were two of them, one sitting in 55, the other in 56. As my desire to keep warm air inside me for a while seemed impossible, I had to start a conversation.
These guys, after my first scrutiny, I thought were traveling in a train for the first time. Considering that all my first scrutinies lead me to wrong answers in the end sems, I decided to do away with the scrutiny. I told them politely that my number was 56 and showed them my ticket. They had a look at it. A look which was as obscure as the language they seemed to speak. Now, I was expecting one of them to get up and leave. Instead, one of them took their tickets out and showed me that the TTE had written 55, 55 in that. And this followed by a hand gesture and a broken statement 'Me 55. He 55. Both 55'.

Now, how the hell can two guys be given the same numbers by the TTE. Following the golden rule of science, that if you cannot solve a problem, solve a simpler one, I told them this:

"Yes. I understand both of you have been given 55. But my number is 56. So I get to sit here". (After all, to hell with them. If they both had to sit on each other's head or balls, I didn't care. As long as I had my seat).

The response was pretty spontaneous. These guys could think, if not speak.
One of the guys said "But both these seats are 55. So we both get to sit here".
To which I had to give an irritating answer "No sir. That is 55. This is 56".
To which I got a question "Then what is this on top?"
A perfectly valid doubt indeed.
I had to reluctantly answer "56". To which they wholeheartedly agreed.
I then explained "Look sir. For sitting, that is 55 and this is 56. For sleeping, 55 is down and 56 is on top". (Though my innocent mind gave a smirk when my ear heard me say on top)
Aw, it was time again for that obscure look. Felt like saying 'Have both seats if you want, but don't goddamn give me that look which makes me want to reshape your face'.
After a lot of arguing and convincing, I made them agree that 56 indeed was one of the seats. Hooh.

2. Next day, when I landed home from IISc, there was no power. Involuntarily, I had to attend mother (nature)'s call. Oh yes, I had my Nokia 6600. I used the light to guide myself, and went in to the bog. Then, suddenly, as I was balancing my phone, and my act, there were three beeps, and the phone went off. Oh, I remembered. No charge. Why the hell did it have to go off now. I couldn't see where I was. I couldn't see where anything was. Taking an initial guess and iterating, I reached everything I wanted to find (Though for a few, I didn't need to iterate). I got out somehow.

3. On my way to IISc the next day, between 10th and 11th cross, Malleshwaram, I noticed that all shops had their addresses written as 'No ---, Between 10th and 11th cross, Malleshwaram, Bangalore'. I say, teach these guys some engineering and how to approximate.

4. For the first time, I noticed a sign board (when you enter IISc from the subway), which caught my innocent mind's attention.
'Go slow. Hump Ahead'.

Physics and movies

2006-12-04T00:01:00.000+05:30

These directors should be taught some physics.

In school and college, we are taught, diligently enough, that the acceleration due to gravity g acts downward (towards the center of the earth, that is). These movies seem to fill in for the other two cases, g acting upward, and a zero value for g. The former being in fight sequences where people just seem to rise out of nowhere. The latter when people just float for 10 odd metres. Whatever happened to the projectile motion we learnt. Also, I always thought work done by static friction was zero. But that doesn't seem to explain how a certain somebody, on getting a horizontal impulse jumps up and lands on the same place. Next, consider this problem: Bodies A and B are on top of a cliff. A is dropped. B is dropped 10 seconds later. Can B catch up with A? Assume B and A similar in all respects, same air resistance etc. The answer is Yes. If B is the good guy and A is the bad guy. Now, consider conservation of momentum. When A shoots B, the recoil A experiences is a few centimetres, due to the change in velocity of the bullet from zero to the maximum value, but on hitting B, due to the same momentum decrease (Maximum value to zero), B is thrown a few metres backwards. This either means one of the guys weighs in milligrams, or in tonnes. Oh, and I don't understand this: When you cut a guy's head (Kill bill kind), the head is cut due to shear force right? Then why the hell does the head fly off?
Bah, there are too many problems out here.

IPho 1967

2006-11-28T02:00:00.000+05:30

I was just going through a few IPhO papers, solely out of nostalgia; to remember the JEE days when challenges were thrown at us from all directions. I used to, and continue to maintain that Olympiads are one of the very few exams which test the real skill of a person in a particular subject, and one of the very few exams where coaching might come a cropper. For instance, here's a problem from the first International Physics Olympiad, 1967, held at Warsaw, Poland. Some of you might have seen it, others give it a try. A beauty.

Consider two balls, identical in all respects, at the same initial temperatures. One of them is at rest on a horizontal plane, the other hangs from a thread (as shown). The same quantity of heat is supplied to both. Will the final temperatures of both the balls be the same?

Think think! The answer is below, but give it your best try before looking at the solution.

Think think!

Think think!

Don't give up!

Harder!

The solution is exceedingly simple! The balls expand as shown. The center of mass of A goes down, while that of B moves up. Thus, some amount of heat is utilized in B to do work against gravity. So lesser temperature rise! Tell me, can it get simpler and better?

Oh, and if you even have the slightest feeling that IPhO problems are simple, you can try a 50 marker from one of the IPhOs :

Somewhere in a glass sphere there is an air bubble. Determine mathematically the radius of the air bubble, using any method you want, without damaging the glass sphere. [50]

Bheege Hont

2006-11-27T22:16:00.000+05:30

Was just listening to the song 'Bheege Hont Tere', from murder, whose first line goes 'Bheege Hont tere, pyaasa dil mera'.

Life is all about U-T fits. Hail Mantech.

SSS

2006-11-26T22:51:00.000+05:30

SSS:

His wife attempted murder on him when he insisted that their first son be named 'Exit Kinetic energy'. His paper 'Killing with a differential suction pressure' won the worst paper award at the pan IIT conference. He didn't clear JEE owing to a single reason: They saw his name and concluded that six guys had written the paper. Oh, and he is Wbl years old currently.

5th sem

2006-11-24T23:40:00.000+05:30

Aha!
So CB has found some time between his exams to reflect upon his wonderful four months spent, without knowing the why and how of things; what people otherwise call a semester. The fifth, to be precise. It gives him great pleasure to tell the people of the world and the readers of his blog, to be precise, that at the present moment, he in happy, overjoyed and almost gay.

The mechanical engineering experience in the last four months has been, to say the least, at it's incredible worst; an experience of the kind which makes you feel that even arteries popping out of your body and sitting on your skin is an enjoyable mouth watering sight; right from getting mocked at by your grandfather with a deeply humiliating albeit an exceedingly true comment which roughly translates, in an unshaven male dominated world of an IITian as 'I already shagged on this 50 years ago. Why the fuck are you shagging on this now', to an introduction in a chapter called Gears in Machine design, which reads 'Gears form an important part of engineering. They were first used in Pre biblical times'. You start wondering if you're here 5000 years late, don't you.

The professors, simply try their best to outperform the others in being worse. It is, at times, of great interest amongst mechanical engineering students, to start a heated debate about how a professor can improve in his teaching and dressing skills. It usually concludes with both the parties agreeing that they wasted half a score minutes talking about it. There also seems to be a common phenomenon: As students near graduation, they learn how to dress themselves better, by simply looking at their profs. A few of them come with pants having more threads than the cloth, while some come dressed as Raymond models, not realising that the fabric is not all that is seen. The slides of the PPTs they present are similar, with background colours that seem to reflect all colours.

The course content, to say the least, again, is alarming. Alarming to me. There seems to be only one aim of the entire thing: Become dumber as you read. Pages and pages of mugging how a green coloured machine swivels about an arm which rotates about an axis perpendicular to the tool motion which is parallel to the machining surface. Analysing something of this nature? No, not personally satisfying.

Right, ditch the course content. The books, even worse. There is this book on Turbomachines, which is made only for those who have sinned. A book which cannot be read with a speed greater than 20 words per minute (So, all you dashed CAT aspirants, buy this book). Reasons? Varied. The figure referred to in the text is numbered differently in the diagram, has different symbols used, is hand drawn, and is at least five pages away. Moreover, how many books have you read where the spacing between consecutive lines increases as you read down the page? Makes you want to call up the publisher right away and blast him, till you realise they've given a fake number.

All in all, not worth it. No wonder people start running away from Mech.

Rotfl

2006-11-23T15:25:00.000+05:30

There are only a few things which make me go in splits.
Laugh till I die. One of these, is Kv man's post on one of the problems in our IC Engines exam. Whaatay!

Devil's advocate with Ram Jethmalani!

2006-11-19T23:38:00.000+05:30

One of the best 'Devil's advocate'. If you have time, please please do read it.

Karan Thapar: Hello and welcome to Devil’s Advocate. In taking on Manu Sharma’s case, has Ram Jethmalani betrayed his principles and more importantly thereafter, has he scattered all morality and ethics to the winds. Those are the two key issues I shall raise today in an exclusive interview with Ram Jethmalani.

Mr Jethmalani, for two years there has been a sign outside the gate of your residence in Delhi, which reads, ‘I am not accepting any new court matters but welcome for anything else.’ Despite that you have accepted Manu Sharma’s case. Now tell me, is the sign wrong or have you simply changed your mind?

Ram Jethmalani: I have not changed my mind. I took up Manu Sharma’s case when I appeared for his bail application in the High Court, which was long before I put up the board. That is an old case and besides, I make promises to myself that I want to. It is my right to take up any case I like.

Karan Thapar: Absolutely! No one denies it. But the nature of the connection is so tenuous that it sounds like an excuse to me.

Ram Jethmalani: No, I am so sorry. You are no judge of it. I know why I take up a particular case. I have some obligations to some people.

Karan Thapar: What sort of obligations?

Ram Jethmalani: The obligation to defend a person against an undeserved, vicious onslaught by the media, which is subverting criminal justice and the whole criminal justice process.

Karan Thapar: You mean to say, the media and the media’s treatment towards Manu Sharma has made you defend Manu Sharma. In other words, if the media hadn’t characterised Manu Sharma the way they have, you wouldn’t have defended him?

Ram Jethmalani: I probably may not have.

Karan Thapar: You mean you have been entirely provoked by newspaper articles?

Ram Jethmalani: Many of the vicious articles and the vicious kind of propaganda that is going on.

Karan Thapar: Let me quote to you Kamini Jaiswal, an associate of yours for 30 years. Few people know you better. She says and I am quoting: “Jethmalani has publicly said he has retired and will appear only in matters when the larger national interest is at stake. How on earth is the national interest involved in this case?”

Ram Jethmalani: The preservation of the purity of the judicial process and particularly the criminal justice system is a matter of greatest national importance. Otherwise, one day you will be in jail and nobody will defend you.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, you are exaggerating by use of pompous language a simple case. There is nothing of national interest involved in the Manu Sharma case.

Ram Jethmalani: If there was no national interest involved, you would not be interviewing me here this evening and you are wasting your time.

Karan Thapar: I will tell you why I am interviewing you. Because I have a suspicion that Ram Jethmalani picks cases to attract attention to himself and to create controversy. It is publicity he is seeking.

Ram Jethmalani: I normally try and avoid people and avoid meeting people.

Karan Thapar: Normally? Just look at the people that you have defended - Haji Mastan, Balbir Singh, Kehar Singh, Harshad Mehta, Ketan Parikh, Lalu Yadav and now Manu Sharma.

Ram Jethmalani: What are you talking about, Mr Thapar? You are taking about Mastan, I defended 50 years ago.

Karan Thapar: Quite right. That’s what I am saying. For 50 years, you sought publicity. You are doing it again with Manu Sharma.

Ram Jethmalani: So what are you talking about? Naturally, in 50 years I have defended five persons you have mentioned, so what?

Karan Thapar: Do you know what your critics say? They say he is using Manu Sharma to build a career that is flagging. He is reviving a legal career that has ended by using and misusing Manu Sharma.

Ram Jethmalani: If you believe that foolish thing, it only reflects on your intelligence.

Karan Thapar: You are very welcome to criticise, in fact, be abusive of me. The point is that it’s not a defense of the question that I am asking you.

Ram Jethmalani: You are being abusive and I am trying to be polite because you are sitting in my house. You have no right to abuse the interviewee either. You are using a language, which no interviewer should use. I would have turned you out of my house, but for the fact that you are my friend and guest.

Karan Thapar: Except for the fact that what I am asking is probably niggling you. I am saying that you choose cases and you choose clients to promote yourself.

Ram Jethmalani: I refuse to be needled by a person like you. You are too small to needle me, for God’s sake!

Karan Thapar: And in which case, why get angry? Why get upset? Why you lose temper?

Ram Jethmalani: I am not upset. I am giving you a reply to your silly questions.

Karan Thapar: All I am doing is being Devil’s Advocate. You are behaving as if you have got the devil in front of you. Calm down! Calm down!

Ram Jethmalani: Don’t expect me to calm down when you are crossing all limits of an interviewer.

Karan Thapar: Then let me cross one more. I want to talk to you about the manner in which you are defending Manu Sharma. Is it moral, fitting and proper that you should defend Manu Sharma by casting aspersions on the character of Jessica Lal, a woman who is dead and cannot defend herself.

Ram Jethmalani: I go by the record of the case. And please read this. I have not invented this. This is an exhibit number 47 upon DA at the trial. I am an appellate lawyer. I have not appeared in the trial court. Now, please read this to the viewers.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, I am well aware of what you are showing me. You are showing me an article from The Pioneer dated May 5, 1999. Just because a newspaper published an allegation….

Ram Jethmalani: First you will have to tell your viewers the headline of this newspaper. Tell them that this is an exhibit and also tell them that the story which is now being attributed to me is a part of the record of the case from 1999.

Karan Thapar: Quite right. This headline, as you insist should be read out says, ‘Passion not liquor behind murder.’ The problem is this: neither the headline nor your reputation if it can be proven. You probably know that it is not true. Your casting aspersions by using it, and I am saying to you that in doing so, you are betraying your principles and your morality.

Ram Jethmalani: Who the hell are you to talk like this? Thapar, you are journalist and a television interviewer. What right have you assumed, this kind of importance, that you decide what can be proved and what can’t be proved? It is for the judges to decide after hearing me.

Karan Thapar: Let me put it like this. Jessica Lall is dead. She cannot defend herself and you have no compunction in flinging baseless acquisitions to malign her character. Do you realise that you are damaging a woman, who is innocent?

Ram Jethmalani: It’s unfortunate. In the first place I have not made any acquisitions against her character. Such an allegation was made by a colleague of mine.

Karan Thapar: You are repeating it. And by repeating it, you are giving it credence, you are giving it credibility and you are giving it popularity. Is that fair?

Ram Jethmalani: Please tell the people what I have said in that letter.

Karan Thapar: You are going back to a point that we have already done. Let me point out to you, as a criminal lawyer, you have every right to use every trick in the book. I put you a moral question. Are there no standards you won’t fall below?

Ram Jethmalani: First of all, please do not degrade the judicial system, by calling it a trick. It is not a trick of advocacy. It is a fair argument presented in open court to the judges for their appraisal.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, I am asking you a simple question. Are there no standards that you set yourself, which you observe? Is there noLaxman-rekha your own personal morality demands that you respect? Will you do anything? Will you fall to any level?

Ram Jethmalani: I will not do anything, but I will do everything legitimate and honourable to defend my client. That is precisely what I am doing and you have no right to make comments upon what I am doing. That is a matter between the court and me.

Karan Thapar: You have no conscience about the fact that you have maligned the reputation of a dead woman, who can’t defend herself?

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry. You can go on repeating it for a hundred times, if you like. I have cast no aspersions on her character. On the contrary, I have given her some character. I hope she deserves it.

Karan Thapar: You have given her some character you hope she deserves it?

Ram Jethmalani: Yes. You are the one who is now maligning her.

Karan Thapar: That is heartless and cruel. You claim that you are giving her character?

Ram Jethmalani: Oh, come on. Doesn’t matter. I am trying to give her a character by my argument.

Karan Thapar: You have answered as you think fit the questions about Jessica. The audience will judge whether they agree with you or not. Let’s change that subject now. Let me now come to Bina Ramani and the Ramani family.

In the case of the Ramanis, you have publicly suggested that Tamarind Court was a bordello and that they knowingly gave false evidence under pressure. You know it is not true, yet you said it.

Ram Jethmalani: Now, don’t make a bordello argument. It is a bordello argument. I have not used the word bordello anywhere.

Karan Thapar: I am quoting to you what you said, “other kinds of activities.” What are the kinds of activities are we talking about? Making cakes? Brewing tea?

Ram Jethmalani: It is a rendezvous.

Karan Thapar: A rendezvous! What a delightful euphemism?

Ram Jethmalani: It is a rendezvous for people to meet, people to go after the party is over. And the people will judge what they were for.

Karan Thapar: So, now the people will judge? You see, you are wiggling out of it with euphemism.

Ram Jethmalani: No, I am sorry. I am not wiggling out of it.

Karan Thapar: You haven’t even got the courage to stand by the insinuations that you have been levelling.

Ram Jethmalani: I have said in open court and I will say it again in open court tomorrow. If you want to hear it come again and hear it, that the motive, that she was killed because somebody was refused a little bit of whisky is a preposterous motive.

Karan Thapar: That’s right. You then went on to say that she was killed for what she had and didn’t give. And we all know what you are suggesting.

Let me pause and come back to Bina Ramani. You have known Bina Ramani for decades. She has dined with you and she has stayed with you. In the ’80’s, you fought and won custody of her children for her. You know better than anyone else that she is not what you are claiming and suggesting she is. Yet, you are knowingly misrepresenting a woman.

Ram Jethmalani: What have I claimed? What have I said earlier?

Karan Thapar: That she claimed false evidence in court. That she was running a suggestive bordello.

Ram Jethmalani: That is exactly what you are putting in somebody else’s mouth and misrepresenting to your viewers. What I have said is that she is an honest woman, who was pressurised…

Karan Thapar: Very interesting that the word ‘honest’. We never heard before. You have suddenly wheeled it into the conversation.

Ram Jethmalani: Now, please! If you want to carry on with this interview, then sit and listen properly like a gentleman. Don’t behave like as if I am sitting in your studio. Please don’t take those liberties.

All that I have said is, on the contrary, this poor woman was pressurised by the police to speak some lies to please them and to get out of the trouble, which they were creating for her. And in court, she had the conscience to stand up and not stick to those lies.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, I gave you an opportunity to correct what you said, to perhaps change your wording and to change the meaning, you have a right to. As a lawyer, you have a right to present your case in a good or bad way.

Ram Jethmalani: Who the hell do you think you are? You are a court and I am presenting my case to you?

Karan Thapar: Let me point out something else. You have frequently been to Tamarind as a customer.

Ram Jethmalani: I have seen Tamarind Court.

Karan Thapar: You have been there several times as a customer.

Ram Jethmalani: I have seen Tamarind Court once.

Karan Thapar: Several times you have been to Tamarind Court. Several times you have been to Tamarind Court. You have been seen by people in Tamarind Court and you have been to Tamarind Court to even ask for drinks when drinks weren’t available.

Ram Jethmalani: No. No. No.

Karan Thapar: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Ram Jethmalani: You are speaking the falsehood. Somebody else told you this and you are trying to just speak some muck.

Karan Thapar: Can I put something to you?

Ram Jethmalani: Yes.

Karan Thapar: The worst, rudest possible question, and, I apologise, but it is the sad truth, I suspect.

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry then. I had told you, Karan, that I set the ground rules for this interview. I will refuse to answer any further questions from you if you still persist on asking the same old question because you want to put it in different words so many times.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, I am asking you with an apology because I hesitate. Are you lying to defend Manu Sharma? Are you knowingly lying?

Ram Jethmalani: Now, if you don’t know this much about the judicial system that lawyers don’t lie... It is clients who lie and witnesses who lie, but the lawyer doesn’t speak a personal lie. Am I a witness in the case?

You don’t even know the elements of criminal law. You don’t know elements of our judicial system and you call yourself a great, great, BBC correspondent and all.

Karan Thapar: You are indulging in an innuendo, libel and irrelevant concern. You are besmirching an innocent woman’s character.

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry. If we have more persons in this media, I think, media deserves to be pitied.

Karan Thapar: You have every right to malign the media, because at the moment the media is pointing out that you have fallen from your own high standard.

Ram Jethmalani: I am not maligning the media, I am maligning you, the representative of the media.

Karan Thapar: Can I point something to you? People are speculating why you asked Justice Sodhi to recuse himself. They are saying that he probably did it to put the judge on the defensive, to thus force the judge to try and appear as impartial as he could, and thus get away with irrelevance, libel and innuendo.

Ram Jethmalani: I did it because another member of the media, with whom you are probably associated, made an insinuation as if I had selected that court and I wanted to give an opportunity to the court: a) to say that I had nothing to do with the selection of the court and b) I will be very happy if the court doesn’t hear it.

Karan Thapar: Let me end this part with two critical questions. I have accused you, and I am using the word accused, of deliberately spreading falsehood about a woman, who cannot defend herself.

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry. I will not answer that question. I have answered it 10 times. I have told you that it is a matter of record.

Karan Thapar: Do you have no conscience of yourself?

Ram Jethmalani: no, I am sorry. You have no conscience and you are not a gentleman.

Karan Thapar: Maybe, but do you have no conscience?

Ram Jethmalani: No, I won’t answer this question. I will not allow you even to utter it. If you utter it any further, I will stop this.

Karan Thapar: I am asking a different question. They used to say of Ram Jethmalani that he was a champion of justice.

Ram Jethmalani: I am a champion of justice.

Karan Thapar: Now, they are saying that he is trickster, he is a man without scruples.

Ram Jethmalani:Now don’t utter such stupid words and this interview is, therefore, terminated. I didn’t call you here to utter this kind of abusive language. Please stop it. If you don’t stop it, I will just walk out. OK?

Karan Thapar: Do you regret the collapse in your standard?

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry. I regret the collapse of the character of people like you that you try to please some people and you are here to please them and not conduct a legitimate gentlemanly interview.

Karan Thapar: If I am asking questions that are so preposterous, why are you losing your temper?

Ram Jethmalani: I must lose my temper. I am entitled to lose my temper.

Karan Thapar: Why must you?

Ram Jethmalani: I am entitled to lose my temper

Karan Thapar: Is it another gimmick? Is it another trick? Is this how Ram Jethmalani attracts attention to himself?

Ram Jethmalani: I do not like this kind of impertinence of even Mr Karan Thapar, whoever he thinks he is.

Karan Thapar: What if there is truth behind the impertinence?

Ram Jethmalani: It doesn’t matter. You go and tell it to others.

Karan Thapar: What if I have touched a raw nerve in saying that you are deliberately spreading libel and innuendo?

Ram Jethmalani: You go on talking bullshit and continue that bullshit. I am totally impervious. Please think that I am not listening to you now.

Karan Thapar: Do you have a clear heart and a clean conscience?

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry, I won’t answer this.

Karan Thapar: You won’t answer it? In other words, you won’t incriminate yourself.

Ram Jethmalani: I have a conscience which many people will be proud of and I am sure that you don’t possess even a fraction of that conscience.

Karan Thapar: Mr Jethmalani, is it your case that criminal advocacy entails casting aspersions on people’s characters, and it entails spreading doubt even though ordinary human beings would believe there is no room for doubt whatsoever?

Ram Jethmalani: Criminal advocacy does involve opening up people’s past to find out whether they are reliable, whether they have motivations to speak lies and whether their character is such that should inspire confidence.

Karan Thapar: Even with what I called lies. I called them lies and repeat the word again.

Ram Jethmalani: You are nobody to call them lies.

Karan Thapar: You know they are. You personally know the people you are maligning.

Ram Jethmalani: I wish journalists like you had been given some judicial powers, and fortunately for the society that is not so yet.

Karan Thapar: I am saying the opposite. I am saying that a lawyer of your upstanding character should have thrown up his hands and said enough is enough. I will defend the accused, but I will only do it in an honourable and acceptable way. I won’t libel.

Ram Jethmalani: Mr Karan Thapar, I am so sorry that you are so silly. I have not even appeared in the trial court. I am arguing the matter on record created by some other lawyer. You should know this. You should at least know what the role of an appellate lawyer is. I am arguing on a record, which has come to me in my hands. I have done nothing of that type. I am only reading the record.

Karan Thapar: But the point I am making is a simple one. There may be many things in papers that you have alleged have been published. You are using them as your defence, but do you have to fall so low to use every dirty trick. That’s the point I am making. Are there no principles that you uphold? The morality you observe.

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry, Karan. You are taking advantage of my hospitality. You are in my house that’s why I don’t want to tell you that. You are falling to low of every kind of standard of morals of an anchor and a television interviewer. You are taking advantage of the fact that you are in my house and that you are my guest. Otherwise, I would throw out somebody here.

Karan Thapar: Maybe and that will be your prerogative. But I repeat my question again.

Ram Jethmalani: You can go on repeating. But I will not answer it any more. If you go on repeating, I will not answer.

Karan Thapar: Mr Ram Jethmalani, people believe that you were a champion of justice...

Ram Jethmalani: I am a champion of justice. But justice doesn’t mean what you think of justice, justice is what the judges think of it and what I think of it, not you.

Karan Thapar: Do you regret the collapse in your standing and you reputation in the eyes of the Indian people today?

Ram Jethmalani: You don't know, perhaps you know and you are hiding it or concealing it. You don’t want to acknowledge it that even on that day, on the television interview, they counted the people who supported me and 80 per cent of the people said that Mr Jethmalani is right in what he is doing.

Karan Thapar: Forgive me. Can I correct and interrupt? They were supporting your right to defend Manu Sharma, I am not questioning that. I am now questioning the morality of the defence you are putting up, the ethics. You know what you are saying is untrue, but you are saying it nonetheless.

Ram Jethmalani: I know the ethics of my profession better than any journalist like you does. Please stop this kind of an argument, because I will not allow you to judge the morality of my actions. I am responsible to the court, to the profession and to the Bar Council, not you.

Karan Thapar: Mahatma Gandhi said that means are more important than ends, are you telling me that in the law, it's the other way round?

Ram Jethmalani: Not at all. But I am doing much better than Mahatma Gandhi in this case, I assure you.

Karan Thapar: You may be correct…

Ram Jethmalani: I am correct, there is no maybe correct.

Karan Thapar: But in the process, one thing you had you lost is your good name. Does it not matter to you?

Ram Jethmalani: I am sorry, it does not matter to me at all that I have lost my good name, judged by some people who are bad. Bad people will always judge me wrong, so it’s all right.

Karan Thapar: Your son is dismayed and disillusioned. Kamini Jaiswal, who has worked with you for 30 years, is also dismayed and disillusioned. Does it not matter to you?

Ram Jethmalani: It does not matter at all. My pity to them and my sympathy for them that they are doing something wrong. As I said, "Oh, Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do."

Karan Thapar: Jessica Lall's reputation is in your hands. She is a helpless girl who is dead. You are destroying it and you know you are doing it willfully. Is that not immoral?

Ram Jethmalani: You are going on repeating this bullshit… Repeated bullshit does not become wisdom. So, you go ahead and by all means, go on telling me this.

Karan Thapar: Repeated defiance is not wisdom either. That’s just obscenity.

Ram Jethmalani:It is. Defiance based on character and conscience is always desirable.

Karan Thapar: Are you a man of character? Is this the behaviour of a man of character?

Ram Jethmalani: Please do not get into this kind of bullshit, this is not done. This is not the way of holding an interview.

Karan Thapar: When there is almost a smile on your face and I am not sure if it is a smile or not, it's time for me to apologise for all the impertinence and to thank you for the interview.

2s

2006-11-18T20:43:00.000+05:30

A and B are walking from the lab towards their hostels. They are near GC.
A: Macha, take the right turn.
B: Oba da, the right turn only will lead us to our hostels.
A: Oh! I didn't mean that. I meant the right direction turn is what we should take. Yeah, although, in our case, the right turn is the right turn to take.
B: Ya, the right turn could be the left. Or the left turn could be the right.
A: But the left turn can't be the left turn
B: Yeah, it's an OR gate da. You input right and left; atleast one right has to be there for the sentence to be correct.
A: Ya.

Meanwhile, C and D are having evening snacks at Tiffanys.

C: Macha, think of this da. You write JEE, miss it, get to some local college, put hajjar fight for CAT, enter IIMB, you can get into Mckinsey easily. Consider a JEE top ranker, who puts insane fight, does well in IIT, assume he works for a few years and goes to Harvard, then wants to join Mckinsey. It's tougher for him than the other guy! How ironical.

D: Ya da. See, it's like a multistage turbine/compressor. How efficient you are at the end is a product of your individual efficiencies of all the processes. You need to be hajjar efficient in all the stages if you want the net efficiency to be high. Even if one cups, there's no point of the entire multistage process.

C: Yup. Right.

Man, I'll miss these IIT days. For the benefit of insti junta: B: Nai, D: Sania

Day

2006-11-15T23:50:00.000+05:30

A single song can make your day. An emotion, a piece of news, an appreciation, a solved problem, kick from a cup of coffee, this, that; well, anything can make your day. Even a single statement. Like when it's midnight, and you are breaking your head as to how the heck you draw the Goodman diagram for some inconsiderate helical extension spring, and your grandfather comes to you and asks you if you have pondy on your laptop.

Hah.

ABCDF

2006-11-10T22:37:00.000+05:30

I hate mugging for CG.
Fuck Mech. Arbitness.

Orkut 'About me'

2006-10-22T00:38:00.000+05:30

If you want examples of modern concise English literature, I suggest you take a day off from play school/school/college/work/life and go through different "About me"s in Orkut.

Wow.

Some of them are so wonderfully irritating, I feel there should be a column to the left 'Report the About me section'.

For revenge which I cannot hope to achieve on orkut, here are a few "About me"s from my side.

1. I am a good boy

2. I want to know why you want to know what you want to know.

3. Hee hee.

4. A mosquito in search of false love. Become my friend. But introduce yourself before adding me.

5. I like to live my life before it comes.

6. I like to live my life only to half of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

7. Who let the dogs out.

8. I'm a fun loving guy who predicts the past.

9. A cunning, wicked guy, who likes eating up people.

10. Gone fishing.

11. Day time - Orkutter, Night time - Murderer.

12. I was born to make friends on orkut. Please help me justify my birth.

13. Amazing enemy. lol. Nice guy. lol. Killer. lol.lol.lol. jolly guy. lol lol.

14. Be my son.

15. I'm on orkut. Rest is for you to find out.

16. I believe in dying and let dying. So let me die, and I won't stop you from dying. But add me before that.

17. If I know you, don't add me. If you know me, dont add me. If I don't know you and you don't know me, you have no business here. Heehaahaahaa.

18. I like symmetry. So add me only if your name is a palindrome.

19. Be my friend and you'll positively cease to live.

20. A psycho. I'll rip your hair apart if I meet you. So don't meet me. But add me on orkut.

21. When I was born, my mom was orkutting, just to change her about me to 'I have a son!' as soon as I came out. I too joined orkut immediately, and I'm here for friends.

Dammit, I'm tired already.

MMM

2006-10-20T22:34:00.000+05:30

How can I not put this quote by one of our profs:

I think, and other professors agree with me that there has been a deliberate attempt on the part of students to lower the class average.

Long live MMM.

9211

2006-10-11T23:51:00.000+05:30

Whenever quizzes seem to come, I feel like running away from earth.
Engineering should be done with in two years.

PhD Sex

2006-09-23T19:14:00.000+05:30

He was tired from the day's work. An entire day of experimentation had gone futile. His brainwave had not worked. It's one of those days again, he thought, recollecting the million days he'd had to deal with depression, with the constant voice in him asking him to fight. As the porche whizzed at 200, he slipped in the Dark side of the Moon.

His stress level gradually began to reduce with Gilmour's riffs in the background. He loved the two hour drive back home. Somewhere, his heart was brimming with joy. He was going to meet Diana, his love four years back. He started recollecting why they'd broken up, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. He was going to meet her anyway. The thought excited him, and somehow made him thirsty. He got down at a bar, had a quick drink, and jumped back in. Suddenly, beauty seemed to envelop him. Buildings, traffic signals, lamp posts, dustbins. Perception could change suddenly, he realized. There seemed to be a hundred Dianas in front of him. He made sure he drove carefully. Having to keep your concentration on the road at this moment was like asking a zoo keeper inside a cage to solve a calculus problem. In an hour, he was at Diana's.

'So, you're doing your Phd is it?' she asked.

'Umm, yeah. In Nanolithography. I'd give you my car, if you know what that is', he joked.

'You know what, it's these jokes that I've been missing all these years. You just make me so happy when we're together', she chuckled.

'I don't even know why we, you know, umm, broke up. It was just a stupid thing to do', she added.

'Yup. That's right'. He decided to stay a little quiet. These women, you never know what's going through their head, he thought.

'So, you're here for a vacation or something?', he asked.

'Kinda, ya. Am leaving tomorrow'. Her face suddenly turned sad.

'So what, we have the whole of tonight, right?', he said.

And he immediately realized what he'd just said. He wished he could swallow his words back. Why did sound have such a great speed. Duh.

'What?', came the response.

'Oh, no. I really didn't mean what I said. Just forget the last line', he persuaded.

'But, see, umm, I don't want to', she said.

'Ya, even I don't want to, I just uttered crap, which was crap, and didn't mean a crap'.

Words just don't come out when you're nervous, he thought.

'No, I meant I don't want to forget what you said', she quipped.

It was his turn now. 'What?', he asked.

'Yeah, lets make love', she said.

Wowow. What was happening? This was more shocking than the result he got last week, that a nanogram of pulverised electrolysed copper zirconate had enough energy to trigger a big bang. He was over the moon on getting that result, not realizing that if true, it meant that he could destroy the universe and himself. He had gone with the result to his guide only to be dismissed in less than a nanosecond, with a suggestion that he eat up all the copper zirconate in this world, just to be safe. This situation seemed similar, but somehow distinct. His mind was going through just too many things at a time. He just couldn't take it longer.

When a girl you have had relationships with in the past tells you a statement of that vigour, when you're single, it's hard to ignore. Or say no. He had loved her. He didn't, now. But she was gorgeous as ever. 'It's alright, there's nothing wrong', he convinced himself. His mind didn't want to make a decision, but his body seemed to make the mind do so. It was awkward though.

They started talking. In a short while, talking dirty. Within a matter of minutes, they were back to where they were four years back. Was it for the good? Only time would tell.

'Come on, don't waste time', she said.

'For once, I realise the importance of time', he joked.

Both of them went up to her bedroom. It was a classy bed which looked all silky, and seemed as if she had prepared it for him. It was grayish in colour, and he distinctly disliked it as anything grey seemed to remind him of Aluminium. 'Has she been planning this?', he thought. It didn't matter. As his PhD guide used to tell him, only results matter. Now, why did the guide have to come to his mind at a very embarrassing moment. He tried hard to forget everything and focus just on the moment. He sort of succeeded.

They were in bed. It was quite a while really since he was this close to somebody, leaving apart a few silica chips that seemed to make a part and parcel of his life. Four years. His mind was wandering again in the past, though he seemed to beg it not to do so. He hugged her. She hugged him. They started kissing, with his hands moving about in chaotic motion, similar to what a man would do if he suddenly realised he'd lost his keys and started to search all his pockets. He wished he had a Hooks joint at his shoulder instead of a Ball and Socket one. That would give him more degrees of freedom. Or would it? He started counting, when her hands stroked his head. This seemed to take away any possible thinking he wanted to do.

They say, with a girl you've been wanting for a long time, you think of her day and night. When you're with her in bed, you think of everything but her. You lose your mind. The semi conscious state starts dominating. He couldn't control his mind, and it went from thinking about the time he had ice cream with his guide, to that when he had a tiff with someone on the road. All this when he was kissing her. He noticed small hairs above her lips, uniformly separated with a low density per unit length. They seemed so similar to the nano fins he had studied in heat transfer, and wondered if god actually meant to give these triangular fin like hairs just so that there in enhanced heat transfer by convection. Miraculous indeed. He was a millisecond close to letting out a laugh, when he controlled himself. Even with all this, he seemed to enjoy the moment. His hands made more uniform motion now, his mind automatically allotting fixed time for his hands to explore each part. He realised the amazement of this parallel processing of the mind, and recollected his 'Parallel processing' course in undergraduate studies. He immediately stopped thinking about it when he remembered he had got an E in that course. Damn that prof.

He slowly started to undo the knots in her dress. He seemed to do it so carefully and slowly, after the previous month's disaster when he was untying the threads of a beam which was hanging from an experimental roof, untied it fully, and it fell down before he could get his hands to catch the beam. A very bad impression on his guide, which he hoped didn't increase his prospective time of stay at the institute getting a PhD. Finally he managed to undo them.

Her body seemed just perfect, with uniform distribution of matter throughout the entire volume. He remembered the nightout he had put in his college days debating over the topic 'Is the human body density constant'. He didn't seem to recollect the result of the debate. He clenched his fists in anger, but didn't realise that his fists were already clenching distinct pieces of highly viscous matter.

Now, it was her turn. He seemed very uncomfortable and numb, when she began what he could only call a systematic procedure of disassociating his dress from his body. They were both, without clothes, in bed. 'The next few minutes would be blissful', he thought. He started wondering how it would be if he meshed her body for a Finite Element Analysis. Tough, he concluded. He started to kiss different parts of her body, and made an observation: The temperatures seemed equal everywhere. He remembered his professor telling him that Isothermal surfaces are very difficult to create in practice. Well, here was one perfectly beautiful isothermal surface.

'You know what?', he said
'Yes?', she replied, taking time to listen to him.
'You have a scientifically perfect body', he confidently remarked.
'Expected from a PhD', she said and started continuing, again, what he could call only a uniform scrutiny of his body parts without permission.

They started making love. This was the best thing he had done in life. It was perfectly satisfying, and was one of the very few situations where someone else could satisfy him.He lost his mind for a while. But still continued. This was brilliant, he thought. Why? He couldn't think.
He could now appreciate why tribology was important. Indeed, without it, life would be difficult. No wonder mankind realised the importance and dedicated a separate subject to it, only to be studied and researched by people who could experience it only with shafts and bearings and the likes. After a while, she came on top of him. Ouch, it hurt. He silently began to recollect how many lab specimens were in his position, when he had tortured them with tensile test, torsion test and what not. He apologized to them. But Diana didn't have any plans of apologizing to a man who she thought was appreciating her body immensely, but was actually apologising to all the steel rods that were in a position similar to his.

rovaf

2006-09-19T18:15:00.000+05:30

Shaastra SEO!

Shaastra Thamesportal Zalecenia Autophytes

Thought

2006-09-08T00:34:00.000+05:30

I discovered so many things I want to do in my life

1. Be a strategy consultant for a while.
2. Spend 2-3 years doing research in Organic Chemistry.
3. Spend 2-4 years researching in Electrodynamics.
4. Teach students for JEE.
5. Invent some new kinematic mechanism.
6. Start a school
7. Work in the investment banking sector for a few years.
8. MBA from Harvard.

Is this possible?
I don't think so. So, lets forget it.

Intern, Duh

2006-08-31T20:25:00.000+05:30

Eight hours, of Group Discussion and Interview at the Placement office, finally I got through ITC for an intern next summer. 7 of us got through out of 220 odd who had applied. I must be celebrating, you think. In fact, that's almost the last thing I feel like doing now. A couple of my close friends didn't make it, and I feel really really bad. There's no more excitement left in me, no ecstasy, no nothing. I wanted all the guys in the spons team who applied to make it through. There's this kind of bonding thats there between us that I feel so uneasy that two of us have made it and the other two haven't. Plain uneasiness.

One of them, my closest pal in IITM. And he wanted it so much. There's no way in this world he can't get. But as we all know, shit happens. And it was his turn today. Dammit. Only if we were allowed to interchange interns.

The other, a true stud. I've been in a lot of situations with him, and I know he's just an awesome speaker. The first time it actually helped me. Was in the same GD as me, interviewed by the same guy. Frankly, I just couldn't have pulled off the GD the way I did, without him. He just lead the GD with utter ease, with the leadership quality that comes so naturally to him. I became a sort of his facilitator, and we pulled it off in a nice way. You're worth more than just this maga. There's a Lehman or a Goldman waiting for you.

There's no way I'm better than any of you; the world doesn't always help the best, does it?

Forgetting all that, if any of you juniors are reading this, a few points:

1. It is NOT easy to get into ITC Ltd.
2. Keep your CG high. It's a must.
3. Do your GD well. Speak well, and speak sense.
4. Do a lot of extra currics. Only high CG DOES NOT help.

Umm

2006-08-23T21:40:00.000+05:30

By getting into IIT, I was supposed to set an example to my little sister.
I've been partly successful : She now listens to Rammstein and does Maths.

Orkut

2006-08-19T23:30:00.000+05:30

Whoever knows me on orkut, please check my album

Impersonation

2006-08-13T00:08:00.000+05:30

Here are a few personalities (?) I would like to impersonate for at least a short while.

Himesh Reshamiya:

I want to learn how exactly it feels like to eat, sleep and shit with my nose.

Also, I would like to remove my cap and look at my hair in the mirror for a while, and find out the reason to why I can’t show my hair to others.

I would also like to sleep with women 20 years younger.

Simon Taufel:

I would like to trip Shoaib Akhtar when he bowls, with the hope that he becomes a spin bowler consequently.

Arjun Singh:

I would want to do a few addition sums to see if I get them right. I would also want to shoot myself after that, and write a suicide note saying I killed myself as I was not able to solve 69 - 73.

Jayalalitha:

I would love to pose a challenge to Deccan Chronicle, by having dinner with Adnan Sami, get a photograph with him, and see if the photo fits the first page next day. I would also want to sit on Dayanidhi Maran.

Rahul Dravid:

I would want to tell Dhoni that he looks good only when he’s dirty.

A ball boy in Wimbledon:

I would also like to see more than usual of Sharapova.

Amelie Mauresmo:

I want to have good biceps.

M.F. Hussain:

I want to make a drawing of the Indian Flag with a Nataraj Pencil and sell it for 1 million rupees.

Madonna:

I would want to kiss Britney Spears in public, and do it proudly.

Fabien Barthez:

I would want to know what it feels like to jump up in the air with my legs on the ground.

Udita Goswami:

I would like to go and stand in front of a German shepherd, and check if it mistakes me for an enlarged cat and chases me. Only that if it does, I can’t run.

Kavya Vishwanathan:

I would like to explain clearly to the world that Tamilians are extremely ethical, of which Amma and I (Kavya) are the only exceptions.

Gita says

2006-08-03T17:22:00.000+05:30

The Bhagavat Gita says, we all are just entities, plain entities with roles assigned to each one of us to make life move on. More like toys. Happiness and sorrow are not a result of our doings but essentially regularities of life, which exist irrespective of our actions, coming in as a package. Thus, it is always advisable not to ride on a situation of joy, or cry over a happening for too long.

I've been using my dad's laptop for the past 2 months, including at IISc. I got my Dell Laptop from US today. A marvelous piece at very little cost. I had to go to Hyderabad to collect it. Just before I left, I thought of checking mail; put on dad's laptop, checked mail, shut it down. I was about to close it when I heard a rattling noise. Lo! The hinge joint had come off. Apparently, the whole casing has to be changed, it's gonna cost around 10K.

My first day of the fifth semester today. I go to college, find my cycle missing. What's more, I had taken a junior's cycle on the last day of the previous semester, and parked it next to mine. That too is missing. Searched all over the place, for a whole day, can't find it.

I get my brand new Dell laptop, I don't even feel like opening it now.

Get this!

2006-07-31T08:48:00.000+05:30

Found this on wimpy's blog. Brilliant!

Twenty years

2006-07-26T18:14:00.000+05:30

A post similar to this in structure, different in nature. (Somehow both of us end up writing almost similar stuff, like this and this, which differed by three days).

Peed on grandfather. Protinex. Proposed in kindergarten. Bonnie baby award. Optic fibre inside the body. First flight. Froze in Kodaikanal. Best handwriting in first standard. Sleepless nights in power cuts. Swimming. Pencil sketching. Came to know of IIT. First crush. Football. Loved Kismi bar. Hindi slangs. Clay modeling. First bicycle. Tennis. Always second in class. Mom's accident. Tabla classes. NAFL bus. National market. Trigonometry. First time that. Suspended for a week. First love. Mechanics. NTSE. Hussain Sagar lake. Malathy Narayan. Kiss. I.E. Irodov. Night outs. Organic chemistry-Prahalad Rao. BSR. HBM. AVS. Sensation. INPhO. JEE. IITM. Life. Indian Institute of Science.

Quite a ride really, these twenty years.

Whoa!

2006-07-16T13:53:00.000+05:30

I found this remarkably good article on FIFA WC 2006 a couple of days back in the Editorial Column of the Indian Express. It's by Damodaran, SEBI chairman. I assure you, it's a worth read.

Long years ago I had a coaster which stated an eternal truth. It simply said ‘‘Use your head—it is the little things that count’’. Somewhere along the way the coaster disappeared. Did it reach Zidane without an explanatory note?
Come to think of it, the head dominated action on Sad Sunday—sad because in one moment, not of madness but of deliberate design, a deity chose to fall off the high pedestal on which millions had placed him. In the first minute, Henry’s head took a knock. In the twelfth Materazzi’s header showed that Barthez was literally and figuratively out of place at this level. Later came Zidane’s legitimate header with Buffon showing that he was in every sense the tallest among present day goalkeepers. And then the head butt that would have been the envy of a battering ram and floored Materazzi and the rest of us. And throughout all of this Fabio (abbreviated from fabulous?) Cannavero and his men kept their feet on the ground, kept cool heads showed visible hunger and proved worthy winners.

Let us leave emotions aside and consider hard facts. Down very early by a penalty award that was possibly justified but fortuitous and with Zidane’s penalty kick falling for the Italians, on the wrong side of the line after hitting the underside of the crossbar, many sides would have given in to despair. Not this Italian side. They were back on level terms in 10 minutes, then hit the crossbar once, had the ball once again in the net without getting a goal and then after 120 minutes of gut wrenching stuff converted all 5 penalties with nothing iffy about any one of them. In my book, worthy winners on the day.

Let us rewind to the beginning. Brazil came with the conviction, which many reinforced, that the World Cup would be theirs four weeks and sixty four matches later. They, like us, should have heeded the warning of the mutual fund industry that past performance is no guarantee of future returns. The hunger that winners need to have was clearly not in evidence. Argentina was a well conducted orchestra—remember the 24 pass goal—till Pekerman decided that Riquelme the conductor could be replaced. Then symphony went; Cacophony came. Spain was consistent, ever the underperformer. Portugal had their moments and if only Cristiano Ronaldo (easily the better Ronaldo in this tournament) had believed more often that this was a teamgame, Figo could have had a fonder farewell. The African teams showed great skill till the penalty box. Their time will come perhaps in South Africa 2010. The Asian teams clearly didn’t belong here. Clearly the economic gains since 2002 have been offset by the loss in skillsets on the football field.

Shed a tear for the Germans. If they had won, I for one wouldn’t have complained. In a tournament that coaches dominated, Klinsman showed that he could hold his own against the Scolaris and the Lippis, the Pekermans and the Hiddinks, not to mention the eminently forgettable Eriksson.

England deserve a separate paragraph. Their game plan was a perfect recipe for disaster. Gerrard and Lampard, both kings of the midfield, found one kingdom difficult to share. Rooney, all alone, was lost upfront. Crouch clearly was in the wrong league. Theo Walcott was brought as a surprise package and the package remained unopened, contents unknown. Lennon was good when given a chance, but was starved of time. And Beckham (I tried hard to remain his fan) stayed immobile for long so close to the touchline that one thought he had bought the best ringside seat. Erase Eriksson from memory. Give Alan Shearer his coaching badge soon. Only then will the lions roar again.

There were several positives that merit approval. The first was clearly organisation. ‘‘Kaiser Franz Beckenbauer showed first as player then as coach and now as Chief Organiser that when it comes to organisation he is top of the class. Everything went like clockwork and the hosts won several friends. For countries seeking to organise international events, this World Cup was an object lesson.

Next in my book comes the refereeing, and I know this is nowhere near a unanimous view among the cognoscenti. Let me state my case. In 64 matches you can have the odd offdays, one match reduced to a ‘‘card party’’ and a referee giving 3 yellow cards to a player in one match. Australia ‘‘robbed’’ at the end of a well contested match with a penalty that simply was not on, was another huge error. But that said, let us see it from the referee’s point of view. Told that jersey pulling, tackling from the rear, diving et al should be firmly dealt with, referees blew the whistle a little too often in the earlier games. Then came the public admonition from the highest in the game. Don’t be spoilsports. Keep the players in the field and the cards in your pockets, or words nearly to that effect. The players got emboldened, the referees got more challenged and to my mind the latter prevailed. They showed firmness without being disruptive and when push came not to shove but to headbutt, they showed who was in charge. Theirs was a thankless job; no harm is done by thanking them for a job well done.

Penalty kicks merit some comment, not the awarding alone but the taking thereof. Strict refereeing ensures that goalkeepers remain on the line and never in front reducing the angles. That leaves goalkeepers with a very small chance. Guess the direction and the height reasonably correctly and make the first move sideways and nearly always horizontally. Or pray that the ball goes out and does not trouble you. The better penalty takers know that too. Their runups are not long and they often go for the roof knowing that a goalkeeper is almost always diving to one side. That sets the Zidanes and Cristiano Ronaldos apart. A lot of practice and a lot of self belief is involved. Even Eriksson spoke of practicing penalty kicks!

In case some of us thought that footballers were unidimensional, this World Cup taught us to think again. We saw some great diving and some great playacting. And while Figo, Cristiano Ronaldo and Henry gave it their theatrical best, the Oscar was clearly Ballack’s for clutching his face when the contact was at least two feet away.
We also saw some of the greats of this generation bidding goodbye on the big stage. Zidane, Figo, Oliver Kahn, Roberto Carlos, Paul Nedved, the list is long. They gave us great joy while they were around and football will be the poorer for their absence.

Who will be the big names in 2010? Too early for definitive pronouncements but no harm starting the deliberations. A talented Messi, a more mature Rooney, a brilliant Ribery and a proven Podosky should make their mark. Robinho should shine in the absence of the more famous Rs of Brazil. And as teams go, let me stick my neck out four years too early. Watch out for Spain and England.

Finally Zizou adieu. And while we say goodbye, one word of advice. Don’t tell us, for your sake and for our sake, what provoked you to do what you did. Let us continue to guess, as your opponents guessed, often wrongly, the direction of your passes. For if you tell, as your agent says you would, lesser mortals will sit in judgement on your action. Psychologists will deconstruct you, lawyers will maintain that your deliberate intent negates the gravest of provocations. Leave us with the luxury of remembering those great moments when you raised football to the level of poetry and we reciprocated by raising you to Godhead.

Pack its

2006-06-30T09:50:00.000+05:30

I'm fed up. I'm removing the comments section, at least temporarily.

As already told a thousand times, I write what I feel like, and will continue to do so. I don't give jackshit of what it means to any of you.

I don't know why, but a couple of comments in my last post made me do this, including

' lol.. cupper.. sit and code da ! '

' ThuuThuu!
Started with Krrish and ended with Floyd.Focus on what u intend to write and don't bring Floyd *everywhere*,nevertheless Floyd is *good*'

' Dude your trademark humour seems to be missing in this post!

I should say this is the worst post of all on your blog!

-Anon '

Whatever, I don't want to see comments for a while. And I'll continue writing what I want to, and not what YOU want me to.

UPDATE : I'm bringing it back on, thanks to a few good words from Priya. It feels stupid now. Anyway, please don't stop giving out negative comments. As I told Priya, I don't mind if you say "You suck" or "You're a tasteless pimp". In fact, when Vatsa ripped a few of my posts to pieces, I didn't mind. However, please don't comment asking me to "focus" on what I write or asking me where my "Trademark" humor disappeared. Thanks.

Damn.

2006-06-28T11:11:00.000+05:30

After I got a bit bored after a stretch of Matlab programming, I decided to take a break; opened winamp, and thought of listening to some hindi track for a change. I scrolled down the list, and picked a song Pyaar ki kahani from Krrish, a recent movie starring Hrithik Roshan.

I double clicked it, closed my laptop, stretched myself in a relaxed pose, closed my eyes.
And I realized how stupid anyone can get.

The song starts with the line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani' from Hrithik.(For those who don't know hindi, it means 'Come on, let me tell you a story'). Then there's blah blah blah, which is nice to hear, good music. But for a change, as I was really bored, instead of the listening to the music, I wanted to listen to the story that Hrithik so much promised me and Priyanka Chopra. The story was idiotic by itself, comprising not more than 3-4 lines, which if you want to summarize, goes like this : Once upon a time, there was a guy, there was a girl too. Both saw each other, laughed for a while, made out, and then made love. (Please excuse me if the story is a bit contorted)

The amazing part was this: After singing all this crap, he goes back to the same line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. Goddammit, you've already told the story man! Do these guys not have sense or what? On hearing this, I actually went back a bit to recheck if I had missed the word wapas, hoping he said 'Aao Wapas sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. But No! Wait wait! Thats not it! You have Priyanka Chopra next, singing 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani', with the same story(or song) to Hrithik!

I just couldn't tolerate this, and Shift deleted the song. Oh god, don't punish me for being harsh to the song!

Soaps: Applications in life

2006-06-14T16:21:00.000+05:30

Tell me one of the most happening, sought after, knowledgeable, valuable experiences in the current Indian society, which is witness to mankind's creativity and powers of imagination.
Yes, yes, you're right! Soaps!

Let me give some tips to the common man as to how you can apply 'soap' situations in your real life.

What a piece of creation, I must say. As informative as a life encyclopedia, but not as boring.

Serials help the common man a lot. Switch on a Tamil or a Kannada serial, and you'll exactly know which distemper and paint not to buy for your house. If you want to learn the Veena, please don't join any class, just put on a serial, blindfold yourself, catch your crotch, and listen intently. And become a maestro.

Put on a Hindi serial, and you'll learn important tricks to seduce your partner, like sleeping with lipstick on, and a silk saree that could cover up an elephant. Only that I must warn you, you might suffocate to death. And you cannot come back alive (Note the difference).

You also learn important social principles and behaviors, like the fact that whenever you see a couple about to kiss, hold your breath for while, let them get millimeters close, and when they're about to kiss, let out a shout, so that lips don't meet. Remember, if lips meet, sun disappears. Also remember, if you don't shout, someone else will. So, shout and get yourself heard.

Take inspiration from a serial, and realize that your day should start with you reading the newspaper and drinking tea. Remember, if you feel like taking a leak, remove the feeling. Also, you should live in a house with a garden. If you don't, you'll be buried alive. Next, you should have guests visiting your house everyday. If they don't, you should visit them. Remember, if neither of these happen, sun disappears.

Next, when you travel to your office by an Auto, don't worry about time, there's always a soul mate auto for you, which comes in the second you reach the road, and drops you in five minutes wherever you want to go, provided you catch your soul mate auto. Note this important point: When you get down, pay the auto fellow only in notes. Not in coins. And at no cost should you take back any change. Remember, if either of these happen the opposite way, you disappear.

Next, when you speak to someone on the phone, you should never ask who the person on that side is. You should complete your entire made up speech, and then confirm if you said it to the right person. Remember, it's invariably the wrong person. But don't worry, he'll call you up and do the same mistake, so you both are even.

You should remember your manners; whenever someone comes home, greet them, and immediately ask them if they want anything hot or cold. Here I must warn you, they might say yes. But then, you can punish them for their lack of manners by giving them Horlicks.

Next, when you walk on a road and a pretty girl walks toward you, when you pass by, make sure you hit her, so that she drops something and you both can stare at each other for 15 seconds, before the sound of vultures above you makes you move. But make sure you don't take your lips close, as someone is always waiting to let out a shout, and you might piss getting scared. The entire purpose is ruined then. Also, remember, if you don't hit her, you evaporate.

Now, when you think of calling up a girl, never do it. Because, the same second you call, she's dialing your number. So, here's the trick: Pick up the phone, act as if you're dialing a number but don't. The supernatural forces don't know this, and she dials your number and you get to speak to her. Though I must warn you, she might also be acting, hence, wait for a while, and dial. But then, she dials too. Don't worry. You cannot speak on the phone. Yes, I wasted your time.

If you ask me, 'Which do you prefer, watching Indian serials, or listening to a bald Taiwan man reciting nursery rhymes on an ocean floor?', I would prefer the latter.

Dream a dream

2006-06-06T17:19:00.000+05:30

Why this topic? Because I'm almost doing that right now. It's 5:30 in the evening, and a whole day has passed without any progress whatsoever. I'm so damn tired, and feel like sleeping and having a nice dream to cheer me up. I don't know if any of you pray for good dreams, but I do. I somehow enjoy good dreams, and it's all a feel good thing in the morning after you've had a nice refreshing dream. And I've somehow had so many experiences and twists with dreams that I thought it was time I jotted them down.

I almost never dream in class, and I cannot reason that out. Probably the constant encounter of some arbit frequency, arbit amplitude jargonistic noise with the delicate eardrums evaporates any of the dreams that have taken birth. In about one in ten dreams, I get to remember the birth of the dream, ie - how and where it started. (And invariably it starts in a class, ironically)

A prominent feature of my dreams is the blending of totally unrelated stuff, in a related environment or an activity. I've told a few of them to my friends, which made them go ROTFL. One was when I'd seen a fashion show the previous day on paapi's comp, about a week after Saarang, and I dreamt that one of my classmates (girl) had dressed up in a bikini, drumming for the Led Zepplica Band in our OAT. If you thought this was funny, you ought to hear the dream when one of my profs came to my grandfather asking for a sex change operation, and my grandfather sent him back saying he was too young.

Many a times, I've had serious dreams, sometimes scary, near death. During the JEE days, there was so much studying that dreams would predominantly consist of problems. It used to reach extremes when I would resolve a few Irodov problems in my dream. My mom used to have a tough time understanding all this when my reaction to her trying to wake me up would be a 'Don't disturb me, I'll get up slowly from one axis' or 'Wait. I'll approximate and get up'.
Well, my mom is clever you see. She would have her sweet revenge by confusing me asking questions like 'Are you going to college with Karthik, or with Siva?'. I would get terribly confused, wondering if I was Karthik or someone else. I would get up furiously, and all my mom would do was laugh. In fact, I remember the day when Siva told me this: While his mom was waking him up that day, he refused to get up till she answered his question. His question being 'In how many ways can I get up?'. Just a bit of combinatorics running in his mind.
Well, those were those.(Whatever that meant)

There were dreams that I still think are due to the influence of extra-terrestrial beings. What else could explain this: One monday, I dreamt that I shot a guy with a pistol. Tuesday, I killed another guy pushing him from a terrace. Wednesday, I stabbed a guy, Thursday, I pushed a guy into a railway track killing him. Friday, I didn't sleep thinking of this, but somehow pinched a guy killing him. And please, I've never killed a guy!

Some have been scary, like a car hitting me, or being pushed down a building(It's my turn now).
If you get hit by a car in your dream, and you don't get up, you're a saintly moron. Now, I also plan to do research on this, that body conditions are crucially responsible for any dream that you give birth to. For, getting hit by a car makes me get up, take a leak, come back, and dream that I'm with Jennifer Lopez.

The weirdest experience I've had in dreams is the time when I dreamt(?) that I was doing that, that being the holy task of growing up, which gives emotional, psychological, physiological and mental satisfaction; and my mom comes into the room. Now, till date, till this minute, I don't know if that was only in my dreams, or I actually did that.

Aah, I'm feeling too sleepy. Better go and have a nice dream.

142236245

2006-06-05T09:40:00.000+05:30

He knew what he wanted.

A weird feeling passed through his head, and he sat still. Staring at the mirror, he wondered; what was making him so uncomfortable?He started to recollect the day’s incidents, trying to remember the one thing that was making him restless. He didn’t want to talk. He hadn’t had lunch, and it was 8 at night; hunger didn’t seem to get close. He couldn’t read. All he could do was to stare at the mirror.

There often used to be such times when he would suddenly realize the uneasiness he was facing, and would start looking for a reason.Sometimes he would get one, sometimes not. The latter would invariably lead to hours of frustration; the former would be no less. He remembered the common saying ‘Works of fiction often have a real life impact or an implication’. He could almost feel a dementor. Reading about it, or watching it, was fun; Real life? No!

‘Where’s my life headed to?’, he wondered. He would keep thinking of the past, and how his life was. How he spent those days, how others were so much fun, how it was all so fine, how he was never in a situation that lead to questioning himself, how he never felt like what he was feeling now.

Another dreaded feeling passed through his head: He was beginning to lose the sense of humor he had. He couldn’t appreciate the jokes made by others. In fact, it seemed all too silly, and he wished he could spank them.

Suddenly, everything seemed different. He was looked at differently by people. The others seemed to draw a line between them and him. A look or glance towards him seemed to be filled with respect. He began to act differently. He’d realized this; that didn’t do any good either. He had to live this way. He wanted to get back to his own self. He hated this. There was nobody to blame but him. He’d chosen to do this.

It was strange the way life moved on, making new friends, changing priorities, new ambitions and a fresh outlook to life, a newly evolved being. And there was no going back.

He smiled at himself.

He knew what he wanted.

Here comes!

2006-05-14T14:24:00.000+05:30

Presenting to you, The God of Mech, IITM, the man, the stud.
The evil muggoo. With a title of 'Veni, vidi, vetti' which made me go ROTFL, this promises to be fun.

'f u undrsntd dis tis gud

2006-05-05T13:29:00.000+05:30

In today's world, what privilege do girls enjoy that boys don't?
No, not getting full marks even after writing A implies B, so B implies A.
But getting messages and orkut scraps which read
'hi. h r u u i wan frenz u. pl riply '. Just wish I had this privilege, so that I could reply 'I want to, but I cannot possibly frenz you'. I mean, there was this girl in yahoo, who would always, every single time start the conversation with 'hi. h r u?' In what way does it make her job easier, I do not understand. For all she knows, someone might as well interpret it as 'Haraami, are you?' And tell her foff hoping she understood what that meant. I do not intend to hurt, or mock at anyone who doesn't know, or it not proficient in English. It's about those who can write perfectly, still resort to 'k.ta. thnkq', instead of a word more 'Ok, thanks.Tata'. In a mobile (read sms) it's at least understandable, especially for people like me, whose thumb much to the irritation covers 4 keys, and a 'this' becomes a 'tits'. It adds to the comfort using a 'u' instead of a 'you'. But using fyne for fine, that too on a comp, as my friend D does, is surely a different case.

The one other thing that pisses me off in this is the convenient use and insertion of numbers. hi. 4m wer r u. gr8 to meet u . Why the hell do you want numbers to communicate or get a point across, when you have a zillion words? (Of course there are exceptions where numbers describe a situation very efficiently, like 'Hey, how was it yesterday?' can get a reply 'Was a 69').
I just don't get the rationale, if there's any. If people do it just for the pseud value, and feel that doing so makes them look cool, they're statistically stupid. (Yeah, I've done too much of stats last sem, I needed to use it somewhere). Of course, people change only when they have a self realization. Not that all this is wrong, it's just that I'm personally irritated, and blogger's been very nice to listen to me.

And yeah, if you're chronically affected by this, you'll probably end up typing a disastrous statement like 'b4 u cum here, i ll cum there', which can make/break relationships forever.

Aah..choo..

2006-04-30T19:06:00.000+05:30

It's 42 degrees.
And I have a terrible cold.
And I'm sneezing so hard, I feel I'm lifting off the ground.

City-Village

2006-04-23T23:17:00.000+05:30

Having witnessed rural and urban lives, there are stark differences I notice.

1. In a village, the road is only for walking. Not for driving. In fact, you are the owner of all roads, provided you don't own a vehicle. You can still drive, if you don't mind going at 5 kmph in a Hyundai. All those miracles of the car getting a dent and the pedestrian escaping unhurt, which you read in papers, happen here.

2. In a village, parking ain't a problem. What's the road for, after all?

3. If you happen to be born as an animal (read cow) in future, please take your share of the road here. In a city, you can't - You'll be run over nine million times by autos, whose drivers perceive you as being camouflaged with the road.

4. In a village, if you have 5 bucks, you can have a sumptuous meal. In a city, you can probably use it for a pay urinal, with the only satisfaction that you hear a ' Hi baby. You can ** here. No, no, not there. Here ' with a seductive voice. And you can fantasize about her for the next 45 nights. Till your AllOut gets over.

5. If you need to travel a couple of kilometers, in a village you don't have a problem at all. Just join the hundred others taking the walk. In a city however, you can either pay 2 bucks and catch a running bus. Or pay 50 bucks, and get into an auto. Or walk, and get run over by an auto.

6. In a village, you need legs to travel. In a city, hands are enough. You can hold the window of a bus and hang from it peacefully.

7. In a city, bill stickers are prosecuted. In a village, prosecutors are bill stickers.

8. In a village, you can stand at a place for hours, think about things. In a city too, you can, if you can manage an interruption every second minute with a 'Saaaar. Auto saaaar?'. Usually this doesn't happen, and you end up feeing it's better off getting into an auto and thinking. Only that you slip out silently at the next signal, which leads to a confusion amongst public when the fellow realizes this a hundred metres down the road on a flyover, and gets down and starts abusing the air.

9. In a city, if you own a music cassette, it solely belongs to you. You make sure no one hears what you've paid for, and buy a walkman for 500 bucks. In a village, you force a Christian to listen to 'Bhaja Govindam', playing it in your shop at 500 Db.

10. If you're absolutely without a job, and you're in a village, you can appoint yourself to be a security at any shop, keeping 100 stones in your pocket to drive away dogs and cows. (You actually waste some by throwing them at ants). If you're in a city, you can appoint yourself as an accident moderator, and wait all day for accidents to happen, and tell a party that it was his/her fault. In case no accidents happen, disguise yourself as a policeman, and stop a Premier Padmini going at 15 kmph, and convince others that it was going at 115, thus getting money. Oh, this'll work only if you've got a pot belly.

To be continued, perhaps.

Hmm.

2006-04-19T22:41:00.000+05:30

The 26 credit semester is taking it's toll on me. Completely. The last 3 weeks have been so futile. I've lost whatever little enthu I had to go to classes. It's been more than a month since I attended a class with concentration. The courses seem such a waste, again. I have no idea how we're supposed to be Mechanical Engineers with the courses being conducted the way they are right now. Others feel the same too, perhaps. For, in the last two days we've made two profs walk out. The end sems are a week away. And the amount to be mugged cannot be said or written in words. I was just wondering - If I were to be interviewed or something in this semester's portions, it would make nothing more than a nice comedy act.

Math(Statistics)- Some N hajjar methods. I don't know where to use what. Or what to use where. Am not even sure if the above 2 statements imply the same here.

Dynamics of Machinery - I still can't define a gear. Or a cam. Or a mechanism for that matter. But I surely have been able to memorize the colours and the brands of the big man's shirts. He sure has a good dressing sense. I appreciate that too.

Fluid Mechanics - After a whole course, if you ask me what the Navier Stokes equations are, all I can say is 'They're big equations to solve the pressure and the velocity characteristics of a fluid flow. Or something like that'.

Instrumentation and control - The other day, I came across this question -
'What're the basic characteristics of an instrument?'
Needless to say, I still haven't figured it out.

Materials and Design - Ask me ' Which amongst Copper and Iron has a higher modulus' and all you might hear is a 'Fuck you'.

Analog Circuits - I've learnt quite a bit. Mainly, my childhood misconception that a transistor is used to listen to music, has been cleared.

Manufacturing Technology - If you ask me what manufacturing is, I would probably tell you that it's something by which you make things in different shapes. And if you happen to dislike the shape, melt it and make it again. Repeat till you're satisfied. Or finished.

Whatever

2006-04-09T22:15:00.000+05:30

My dad never seems to appreciate what I do. He thinks I'm a joke. Whatever.

Shuffling

2006-03-30T01:11:00.000+05:30

Shuffling between home and hostel can be a real problem at times.
Reason- You don't adjust your language accordingly.

There have been numerous instances when I just don't realize that I'm at home, and end up speaking just like I do in the hostel. Or just avoid doing so.

Some of the instances I can recollect :

1) When I'm busy mugging

My sister (In 8th std) : Bhaiya, what do you do when someone says 'You're irritating me' continuously and thus irritates you in the process?

Me: Uh..? What?

Sis : Repeats the question

Me (Getting pained) : Show them your middle finger

Sis: Show them whaat?

Me: Oh! Umm.Your index finger, asking him or her to move away.
Shit!

2) When I'm speaking to my friend in the hostel on the phone the day before quiz :

Me: Macha, what all are there to mug da?

Friend : Rolls out a big list

Me : Shit da. Denge denge denge denge denge!

After I keep the phone down,

My mom : You could have said that a couple of times more.

3) One more phone incident. It was Sania I think. I was having the cordless and was walking about. Guests had come home, 4 of them sitting in the hall. I happened to go to the hall just at the wrong moment.

Sania: How's power amplifier da?

Me(Excitedly and loudly) : Total rape. Everyone will get raped. Surely.

All eyes towards me. I freeze.

4) This is one of the worstmax possible. Anybody who's seen AliG's Cannes Po** Festival will empathize with me.

Me (Sitting on the comp talking to myself) : Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete?
(AliG style)

My dad(thinking I'm singing a song) : What sort of a song is this?

Me : Oh, this? Some rap song. Even I don't like it.

Oh shit! Shit! Shit! This is home!

5) And of course, I seem to have taught my sis quite a bit unknowingly. The other day, she was having a conversation with her friend on the phone.

Her friend : Said something which I obviously didn't hear.

My sis : Cock up.

Me(Sitting on the sofa wasting time) : Wtf?!

Later, I call her and ask her - How did you learn that?

She : You only taught me. You told me 'cock up' last week when I was telling you how my teacher praised me.

Me: NO! You're not supposed to use these things for at least...umm..3 years.

She : Cock up.(Just to irritate me)

She ran. Of course I chased her down and made sure she didn't repeat this.

Wooof

2006-03-21T22:54:00.000+05:30

Things in life never go the way you expect them to. In fact, I feel they go just the opposite way.

Within a matter of 48 hours, I've got myself a summer project at IISc with a prof of International repute, that too in an area which is very interesting, and which I've started loving, Synthesis. (The evil muggo would perhaps beg to differ).

Now, such a prof getting impressed by just your resume and taking you, leads to :

1) Extreme happiness, almost making you forget that there's a quiz the next day.
2) Extreme boasting, as I'm doing now.

Will write a post sometime later regarding this, the damn quizzes are on.

Mechanica 2006

2006-03-19T00:45:00.000+05:30

Mechanica 2006 is happening on 1st and 2nd April. It's the annual fest of the Department of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras. I'm organizing this event here. Also, the article I wrote for Chennai Online can be found here : Mechanica 2006

So, please tell all your friends !

Cash prizes upto 2 lakhs to be won!
And travel reimbursement for all design contest finalists!

And here's to the Evil Muggo, who became a core member of Shaastra 2006! One of the rare occasions in IITM history a second yearite's becoming a core. Way to go !

Mail Forwards

2006-03-14T19:29:00.000+05:30

Now, who likes them? Please tell me. Especially the ones which haplessly attempt to thrust bad luck. The shocking part being that some come from 20 year olds. It makes me want to jump out of my skin and slap the person who started it(The only other thing that makes me want to do so is a line of a tamil song ' Oh my Kadavule'). I mean, why don't people stop sending these forwards that don't mean a shit.

If you don't send this to 10 persons within 5 hours, you'll lose your love.
If you don't send this at least to 20 persons, you'll lose your job.

What crap.

My only act of guilt was 10 days back, when I thought of doing it once. Just once. Never in my life have I forwarded such stuff. And the mail I forwarded said ' If you send this to 5 people in the next 12 hours, you'll have good luck for your entire life'. Exactly 12 hours later, I found my name on the attendance shortage list in D slot, that too by chance. My personal vengeance thus adding to this, I'm creating a mail forward message:

If you do not send this mail to atleast 10 persons:

If you're a man, you'll become a woman. Vice versa. Your legs and hands will exchange places. Your genitals will be auctioned for 123 cents. Scorpions will bite you all over and you'll swell up and become a hot air balloon. You'll be a termite in your next life. You'll start pissing only Antimony Hydroxide. Your son will be Miss World. You'll be sent to prison for a year with only a photo of Mayawati in your cell. You'll marry Yokozuna. You'll also get to sleep with Vitto. And of course you'll be cast, forged, rolled, shaped and melted just before you die.

If you send this to 10 persons :

If you're a man, you'll stay so. If you're a woman, you might turn into a man. Men will get to sleep with JLo, Laetitia Casta, Gisele Bundchen, and Salma Hayek on the same night. Women will get a new Jupiter silk pillow to sleep with. You'll be George Bush 123rd in your next life. Your son will be JEE AIR 1 when he's 1 month old. You'll piss Pepsi. You'll hence become a millionare. You'll get the Nobel Prize for discovering a new planet when you're high on Vodka. Your son will marry Karunanidhi's granddaughter. Your daughter will marry Jayalalita's grandson. And of course you'll be sleeping when you realize you're actually dead.

Copyright Product of CB. Whoever wants to forward this must pay CB 123 rupees.

Man, what a day!

2006-03-12T21:46:00.000+05:30

Now, today's match was just what I would call cricket.
Amazing. Glorious. Exceptional. Magnificent. Outstanding. Pathbreaking. Shattering. Mindblowing. Phenomenal. Flabbergasting.
Call it what you want. I'm lost.

Today's a landmark day. 2 reasons.
1. South Africa monstrously chased down 434 in an ODI equally monstrously made by Australia.
2. First time in life, I nearly pissed following a match on the comp(Rediff to be precise).

How many times in your life do you get to see this scorecard -

Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R

Australia	434-4 (50)	Runs	Balls	4s	6s	SR
A Gilchrist	c Hall b Telemachus	55	44	9	0	125.00
S Katich	c Telemachus b Ntini	79	90	9	1	87.78
*R Ponting	c Dippenaar b Telemachus	164	105	13	9	156.19
M Hussey	c Ntini b Hall	81	51	9	3	158.82
A Symonds	not out	27	13	3	1	207.69
B Lee	not out	9	7	0	0	128.57
D Martyn
M Clarke
N Bracken
S Clark
M Lewis
B Hogg(SS)
Extras: 19 ( b:0 lb:4 nb:10 w:5)
Total: 434-4 (50) \| Curr. RR: 8.68

FOW: A Gilchrist (97-1, 15.2), S Katich (216-2, 30.3), M Hussey (374-3, 46.1), *R Ponting (407-4, 47.4)


South Africa	O	M	R	W	Nb	Wd	RPO
M Ntini	9	0	80	1	0	1	8.89
A Hall	10	0	80	1	2	0	8.00
J Wath	10	0	76	0	1	1	7.60
R Telemachus	10	1	87	2	7	3	8.70
*G Smith	4	0	29	0	0	0	7.25
J Kallis	6	0	70	0	0	0	11.67
J Kemp	1	0	8	0	0	0	8.00

South Africa team: M Ntini, A Hall , J Wath, R Telemachus, *G Smith, J Kallis, J Kemp , B Dippenaar , A Villiers, H Gibbs, M Boucher, J Peterson(SS)

Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 16-20 ovs

In reply, South Africa's

Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R

South Africa	438-9 (49.5)	Runs	Balls	4s	6s	SR
*G Smith	c Hussey b Clarke	90	55	13	2	163.64
B Dippenaar	b Bracken	1	7	0	0	14.29
H Gibbs	c Lee b Symonds	175	111	21	7	157.66
A Villiers	c Clarke b Bracken	14	20	1	0	70.00
J Kallis	c and b Symonds	20	21	1	0	95.24
M Boucher	not out	50	43	4	0	116.28
J Kemp	c Martyn b Bracken	13	17	0	0	76.47
J Wath	c Ponting b Bracken	35	18	1	3	194.44
R Telemachus	c Hussey b Bracken	12	6	2	0	200.00
A Hall	c Clarke b Lee	7	4	1	0	175.00
M Ntini	not out	1	1	0	0	100.00
J Peterson(SS)
Extras: 20 ( b:4 lb:8 nb:4 w:4)
Total: 438-9 (49.5) \| Curr. RR: 8.79

FOW: B Dippenaar (3-1, 1.2), *G Smith (190-2, 22.1), A Villiers (284-3, 30.5), H Gibbs (299-4, 31.5), J Kallis (327-5, 37.4), J Kemp (355-6, 42.1), J Wath (399-7, 46.3), R Telemachus (423-8, 48.2), A Hall (433-9, 49.3)


Australia	O	M	R	W	Nb	Wd	RPO
B Lee	7.5	0	68	1	3	1	8.68
N Bracken	10	0	67	5	0	0	6.70
S Clark	6	0	54	0	0	0	9.00
M Lewis	10	0	113	0	1	1	11.30
A Symonds	9	0	75	2	0	0	8.33
M Clarke	7	0	49	1	0	0	7.00

Australia team: B Lee, N Bracken, S Clark, M Lewis, A Symonds, M Clarke, B Hogg(SS), D Martyn, M Hussey, S Katich, A Gilchrist, *R Ponting

Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 24-28 ovs

Super sub: SA won by 1 wkt

Just have a look at the Strike Rate column in both. What more does one want..! Right now, my hands are jittery even to write a long post. So, I can best summarize the match ending with the chat session I had with PG, who also happened to follow the match on the comp.

Karthik Narayanan: What the fuck is happening in cricket man..?!

9:08 PM Deepu: something very interesting, for sure..

Karthik: macha..
don't you watch criclet
ket

9:09 PM
Deepu: i'm following the match
on the comp

Karthik: fuckin shit da.!

Deepu: yup

Karthik: what the fuck.
look at how they're hitting

Deepu: too much stuff to take
d-day for cricket history

Karthik: ya..

Deepu: 800 runs in a day !!!

Karthik: even these guys are crossing 400
packax only.
studmax.
gibbs..what level da.

Deepu: prev highest score was 398 by pak, rt?

Karthik: no..lanka

Deepu: ok.. it was 398?

Karthik: ya

Deepu: SA is getting close to reaching that, at least

Karthik: ya..
surely

Deepu: 398, da...
they made it

Karthik: yey!!

Deepu: 399
man.. this is going somewhere...

Karthik: ya da..studmax..

Deepu: shit.. wicket

Karthik: ya..fuck
fuck
fuck

Deepu: they crossed it da....

Karthik: ya
411

Deepu: man.. this is too much...

Karthik: 415
fuck
fuck
Deepu: 6-6-4

Karthik: which over are you talkin about
?

Deepu: fuck.. what if they actually win?
the jump in scors,da..

Karthik: oh..k..wait
lets see.

Deepu: which site r u using?

Karthik: rediff

Deepu: rediff cupped for me...

Karthik: even here''now it's cupping

Deepu: i'm using sify now.. but it's too slow

Karthik: 418
need 17 from 13
fuck
fuck!

Deepu: shit ,da
making the highest runs ever and losing would be too much for aus

Karthik: ya..!
sexy man
lets wait

Deepu: yup

Karthik: keeping fingers crossed

Deepu: hmm.. who would u bet on? ;)

Karthik: aus da.
this has happened before
world cup

Deepu: man.. i just love SA

Karthik: i croed
cried
fuck

Deepu: 422

Karthik: 423

Deepu: 2 overs to go

Karthik: need 12 off 11
!!!!

Deepu: so.. 13 off 12

Karthik: no..12 of 11
tats what espnstar says

Deepu: ok... maybe i'm not having the latest..
yup..

Karthik: macha..this is something da.

Deepu: not just something..
everything in cricket is happenning there now...

Karthik: fuck
wicket

Deepu: shit
another wicket

Karthik: ayyo..
lets wait

Deepu: yup

Karthik: 9 of 8.
dan
damn

Deepu: macha u make 434 and then having to struggle to win !!!! never in the history of cricket has anything like this happenned...

Karthik: ya..i know..
this is cricket man

Deepu: shit

Karthik: world's best 2 teams
fighting it out
i love it
7 of last over
fuck fuck fuck!!!
fuck!

Deepu: wow

Karthik: i'm getting goosebumps da.
fuck

Deepu: heehee
just a 6 to tie it....

Karthik: ya!!

Deepu: it's gonna be tough for aus..

Karthik: hope they win man
lets see
same thing happend in world cup
semifinal
they needed 1 of 1

Deepu: ya

Karthik: and they lost

Deepu: sa lost it, na

Karthik: ya

Deepu: i mean tie,

Karthik: 6 of 5.

Deepu: but sa was kicked out

Karthik: ya ya
corrrect

Deepu: k

Karthik: 6 of 5.

Deepu: something happenned

Karthik: what.?
wicket maybe

Deepu: i hear shouts from comm room

Karthik: fuck
i think they won
sa won is it??

Deepu: lemme see
any info?

Karthik: no da.

Deepu: 2 off 4

Karthik: some probem
2 of 4..!!
they need 2 of 4..1
!

Deepu: man !!!
fuck man.. what a score to chase

Karthik: fuck da..
this is seriously god level..

Deepu: ob
more shouts
looks like they won...

Karthik: they won is it.?
no..!!
fuck
fuck it.
wicket!

Deepu: looks like that....

Karthik: damn..fuck it

Deepu: oh shit

Karthik: fuck

Deepu: fuck man !!
that's all that was needed
more shouts

Karthik: 2 of 3.

Deepu: what now

Karthik: 2 of 3.
whats happening
tie..1
tie!!
tie!!
1 of 2..!

Deepu: fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too much

Karthik: 1 of 2!!
fuck
fuck

Deepu: holy shit !!

Karthik: wait.
what happnd
tell me when you hear shouts.

Deepu: dunno

Karthik: tehy won!!
won!!
fuck

Deepu: yup

Karthik: They fucking won!!
yey!!

Deepu: 4 in last ball

Karthik: yey!!
fuckax!

Deepu: macha..............

Karthik: yey man!!

Deepu: too much

Karthik: gawdd level
toooo much'
shit.
i gotto piss.

Deepu: holy shit

Karthik: this was something unimaginab;e
goddammit
i love this

Deepu: highest chasing total !!!!!

Karthik: ya..!
fuck..! oh god.
chalo..nice match chatting we had
:D
good nite..

Deepu: g'nite da...

Karthik: nite!

The spirit of cricket captured.

Lampooning - One more

2006-03-09T00:23:00.000+05:30

You can perhaps read this if you havn't already.

Ms D
She's continuing from where Mr D left. She too has a lot of credentials. She's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the only human to mug Ogata and recite it in reverse. She holds another record for the 'Fastest Speaker' when she read out the entire Bible in one hour flat. She's the first Indian Professor to detect proxies by measuring time lag, and relating it with confidence of the answer. She's also the first human victim of fatigue loading. Infact, spectroscopy samples of her ball and socket joint are being used to teach fatigue loading effects at MIT.
She believes that the answer to Universe, Life and Everything is a Laplace Transform. The most famous statement of her being ' If the function G(S) under consideration is a rational function of S, then the total number of poles is equal to number of zeroes counting the multiple order poles and zeroes if the poles and zeroes at infinity and at zero are taken into account', which caused rearrangement of a few neurons in students, who had to be admitted to the Taramani International Medical Institute. She almost lost her job when she said something like Van't Hoff discovered Photoelectric Efffect.

Pained

2006-03-05T00:19:00.000+05:30

The greatest weak point in me of late is my arrogant decision making. It was a fine morning in November, when my good friend P approached me telling me about this for summer internship to be held here. I as usual, thought about it for 5 odd minutes, called up the evil muggu and discussed, immediately told P that as anyways I was aiming for an MBA, it served no purpose to do a research intern there, so I would probably do it in some company. But after 3 months, I got a feedback that interns in companies are all name sake. And you learn hajjar more if you're working under a prof, in which case IISc would have been indispensable. And today the list came out. P obviously got through, he's a maths GOD. 2 others, M and K who applied from Mech got through. Which means I would have peacefully got through had I applied. Duh. I should probably think twice before making any decision. Also, a lesson learnt - Apply for every damn thing. Do not choose while applying.

On a lighter note, today was the umpteenth time the barber told me to 'lower myself and sit' while having a haircut, as I'm apparently too tall. I jus got so pissed, I piled up all my anger and told him ' Sir, the distance between my 'bottom' and head is fixed. As I'm not an ape, and can sit only on my 'bottom', I cannot lower myself and sit. Please understand'. Duh.

Goody feeling

2006-02-26T14:26:00.000+05:30

The last 3 days were pretty eventful. After 2 days of racking my brains, running around, getting feedbacks and opinions, I finally decided to minor in Financial Management. And I hope to get it.
Herd mentality again showed up. People taking Operations Research left and right, without having the faintest of ideas what it's about. I fell for it pretty much too, in the beginning, until my good friend reminded me of this. I had to rethink. And finally, to my happiness now, I chose FM. This was initially greeted with disappointment at home, the argument being ' You should learn Tech when you're at a Tech Institute'. Anyways, now it's fine, and they're happy too. I'm actually very excited about this. Much more than I was when I came here. Dunno why. (A bit sad though as I've unofficially ruled myself out of contention for the Lehman Intern next year)

After all this hullabaloo, I went on a trip with parents to a few temples near my native place, and around Pondicherry. I seriously had a fantastic time! It felt so good to be amidst people who simplify life greatly. Which puts me to shame. On one hand we're here, thinking of when to have the next pizza, cribbing about shortage of time. On the other hand, there are these people who lead such placid lives, work 365 days a year, without a tantrum. Such starkly different from ours. Kids playing around in sand, not worrying which book is better. Ladies going around in fields, with pots of water, not shopping for clothes. Men selling stuff for a measly 2 bucks, no bargaining for a one fourth reduction. This visit also reminded me how regularly I used to go temples to when I was young, and how complacent I've become of late. The roll numbers I used to leave behind in those temple walls seems a thing of the past. The Kalkandu which I use to eat so excitedly is forgotten. How life moves on!

If there's something that can make me shed a tear, it's nostalgia.

Lampooning

2006-02-17T22:29:00.000+05:30

Yes. Thats what this post basically aims to do. I would go through a few aspects and details of my profs this sem, exposing many of their great achievements, which have remained in the dark for so many years. A few of my Mech classmates demanded some entertainment, and this is all I can do. Others can nevertheless be imaginative enough to create images of profs in mind.

Lets start on!

1) Ms A

Why she still calls herself Ms remains an unsolved puzzle. Infact, the HOD of our maths department is considering to publish this as an apparent paradox, and as a million dollar problem. Also, she claims that she is the only woman to have understood Einstein's Space Time relations. Sadly, nobody pays any heed to her claim because she thinks that this theory implies that you shouldn't waste time in class. She has also won the 'Fastest Indian speaker' award. Otherwise, a pretty normal lady.
Maa'm, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun.... Kidding.

2) Dr B

Here is the big man himself. He is a renowned person in Vibrations and Machine noise control. His trick to have got him this famous is that machines stop making noise when he's around. To put it simply, they sleep. Now why they sleep when he's around still remains a hot topic of research, especially at Cornell. Infact, several pharma companies have sued him for allegedly reducing their market production and sales of sedatives. He still faces several charges on ' Attempted murder by monotone voice control'. His Phd thesis titled ' Going through the exercise of a 5 dimensional Grashoff mechanism with 1 link fixed, nothin fancy about it' was world famous. Also, he's the heaviest professor alive, and has a bad reputation of having broken 742 benches in Class room complex alone. Owing to the same reason, he cannot take even 2 continuous classes as his legs fail him.
Sir, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun. You're a stud.

3) Dr C

God of all gods. Recently conferred the title of 'Concept King' by the Royal British Association of Old Fluid engineers. This man holds many many records and distinctions. He holds the IITM record for having breathed most of its air, for 45 years. He also holds the IITM record for the maximum number of years taken to do a Phd-21. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Dimensional Analysis. Infact, his Phd thesis titled ' Dimensional Analysis of Boundary layer theory for viscous fluids, in other words, taking into account the Taylor series, or something like that' remains a classic in all of viscous flow theory. He is also credited with the 'Indian with the highest Erdos number' tag, close to infinity, which basically means that all his papers are fraud. He is also the only Indian to have run a marathon through 69 countries, publicizing the Boundary Layer theory. He is also the recipient of the prestigious Lehmann Brothers poetry award for the one liner ' This y is not the same as that y, that is why'. His belief that 'No paradox has a solution' nearly cost him his job, when he uttered it at an International Conference. 'All quantities increase in the positive direction of axes' is one among his many beliefs well known in the scientific community. He is also the propagator of his Bluff philosophy- If you don't know an answer, bluff it.
Sir, if are by any chance reading this....No, that won't happen. Because I'm pretty sure you don't know how to operate a comp.

4) Dr D

He was initially suspected to be a Japanese refugee in India, until recently, when it was known that he's actually a visiting prof from Tokyo. Apparently, he was denied a visa from Tokyo, because the official's details and the voice did not match in the telephonic interview. Only when they reached his home did they know that he was actually a guy. He is also the recipient of the prestigious ' IIT student's sympathy' award for having made a statement that proxy will hurt the sentiment of the other guy. Otherwise very nice.
Sir, if you're reading this, kuosowhaahaahwikoi. (I hope that's something in japanese)

5) Dr F

He supposedly ran out of Nimhans. Was admitted for ' Chronic urge to take classes ' by the IITM elec department. He is of the belief that the answer to universe, life and everything is Analog circuits. He also has wordly knowledge. Citing an example, 'Consider Volleyball, where the players put the ball into the basket'. He treats other departments, especially Mech, close to how he treats his Ambassador. He's the first prof in IITM who is known for blatantly refusing to do research. He was the main reason why the slot system came about in IIT, imposing a maximum limit on the number of classes in a week. Many students have had their hands come out separately because of excessive writing. He is also the reason why the number of piles' cases in students doubled a few years back.Anyways, GOD.
Sir, in case you're reading this, Mech rules.

6) Dr G.

He is known more commonly by the name Sloth LV.. His belief that 'The slower you talk, better the students understand' won him critical acclaim all over the world. He is credited with the tag of the 'First Indian to use Powerpoint in Mantech, unsuccessfully'. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Sand Casting. There are rumours that he's been stopped from presenting conference papers because the Russians get irritated and throw abuses at him. What he's concluded from Einstein's space time relations is that time can always be got back, provided you conserve energy by bunking your own classes.
Sir, if you're reading this, Mantech sucks.

Hmm..thats about it. More to come later, perhaps.

This is all a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

Fear..

2006-02-15T20:31:00.000+05:30

I somehow keep having this fear these days that the Best in my life is over. Walking with your head held high after topping your state, or being micrometers away from your 'one', are not going to happen again. Duh.

The way to spend valentine's day..

2006-02-13T19:50:00.000+05:30

..is certainly not with a Dynamics of Machinery quiz.

IITians in politics

2006-02-09T23:19:00.000+05:30

The major news item covered today:

IITians start a political party.

Now, as amateur as I am in politics, my opinions might be as far from reality as it could get.
Firstly, as far as an invisible, hypothetical support from my side goes, they have it. But support can be of different cuts. A sympathetic one, for instance. Or a fully passionate one. The instance here would salvage more of the former. There are quite a few points to be discussed here. At the outset, these 5 guys definitely need to be congratulated for even thinking of starting something which a normal IITian cannot think of even in the delta sleep. But, how far will they go is a big question. I know it's partly stupidity to ask this, this is similar to asking how many marks a person will get in an exam before he's even started writing it. But you can definitely find out the range of marks he's probably going to get, after finding out his preparation before the exam. And thanks to the government of India, for giving a holiday today, I could sit at home and watch this 'big story' on CNN-IBN. An exclusive coverage, interviewing the students forming Paritrana, watched a couple of times, could easily tell me that they were very very unsatisfactory in their approach. Simply because it seemed to me, that there wasn't any fire in the belly, or the adrenaline rush any entrepreneur has. (If this maybe called entrepreneurship)
It was more of a sprightly talk. Clear focus seemed to be lacking. Again, if I was given the chance of interviewing them, I would probably have asked them more specific questions than just the motive behind this, or their future plans. Also, the most important point being that this issue has come to limelight solely because of the 'IIT' tag associated with it. Just any 5 students in a remote corner of India forming a political party (am not sure if there already are) have faint chances of figuring in the national news of a leading news channel.

The biggest point is this: IIT tag doesn't mean a shit in politics.

This tumultuous field offers neither the scope for analytic thinking , nor intelligent rationality. It offers scope only for street smartness. Experience tells us it is only for those who have the uncanny knack. Statistics tells us, it's not for IITians. But, being an IITian here is a double edged sword. It makes people recognise you instantly. Your job is half done. But the other half, conquering this salacious field, is almost certainly far from being done. And being an IITian does not even take one remotely close to it. This is a field which originally started with the meaning 'The art of governance', and now has become a popular household term, in the derogatory sense, thanks to all the wonderful people who make up this field. Anyway, leaving that apart, I seriously felt this news issue wasn't dealt with properly, as in, it wasn't ripped apart the Rajdeep style. The guys would already be sleeping with brimming confidence, for having to go through such an easy day with the media on the very opening of their party. Aah, definitely not for long. Not long before they realise that tackling MPs is a tonne better than handling the media. Now they're under the ubiquitous camera. No escape. Chosen path, stick on!

Also, the media in general (especially in our country) is known for evading certain miniscule points, not because they're irrelevant. But because the Sensation, the sole reason for its survival, is avoided or nullified. Today is a perfect example. Note how conveniently, and glibly they avoided putting forth the facts about the students' past. A comment in passing which appears on the website just mentions that one of the guys was doing farming for three years. Yes, correct. Farming. Nothing about the others. I mean, doesn't this even raise a few eyebrows? I know I have been too cynical regarding this, but facts are all I want. Considering that there might be more politicians having flunked their 12th than those who have passed it, it is definitely NOT necessary to submit, or declare openly the academic qualifications. Only Tanmay's qualification is spelt open.(Btw, only God knows why he did an MA in economics after a Btech Mtech). The basic reason I'm really uncomfortable with this not being mentioned is, we fail to follow if this was their sole motive. Are they doing this just because they want to do it? Are they starting this just to create a sensation knowing that they have the hallowed letters aside. I feel slightly in the negative. One, because, there is no gut reason they offer. Making a statement ' We want to take India to its right place ' is as general as it gets. Goddamit, if I was Swati, I would have asked them to explain right there what 'right place' was, that they were hoping to reach amidst 10000 other politicians. Two, as I said earlier, they seemed so languid in their approach. Succesful politicians are those, who are passionate about their ideas, who can go any stretch to achieve what they want, make the most of all sweeping statements, but climb up the ladder pulling others down deceitfully. Peacefully too. How far these guys can do the same remains to be seen.

Nevertheless, a revolution starts somewhere. In all circumstances, we may as well find a total flipover in Indian politics in the coming decade or two. These guys have to stick to and uphold the responsibility they've taken. Which no IITian, to my knowledge, has done, again, even in the delta sleep.(Dunno why I'm obsessed) All I hope for is that they have realised what they're upto. And what they've aimed at. This is going to be 10 times tougher than working at MIT. I just pray these guys have cognized that fact.

Anyways, here's to their success.!

Saarang pics

2006-02-05T00:42:00.000+05:30

CLT

Paapi, me and caesar.

Phoebe Buffay

The inside 'CLT' shot

Informals

Cycle, sania and me

Powerchords

Paapi's room. Paapi's guitar.

NITK guys performing at Powerchords

Very own 'GC'

Multitudinal..

2006-01-28T22:10:00.000+05:30

Saarang's almost done. Over. Finished. A day to go.
I must agree, a plethora of talent showcast.
Well. Saarang shows how an eclectic combination of art, lit and academics can perhaps try to make a good, well informed individual. Albeit, there are moronic enough people here, altogether insane , who cease to use the opportunity, and are of the belief that mugging in the room is the best avenue saarang offers.

Idiots.

Though I'm not informed of the motivation behind setting up Saarang, or Madigras as it was known earlier, the reason is as guessable as the number of eskimos in North Korea. It's a famous fact that IITians are close to, if not the worst in public speaking. Communication, rather. An average IITian can be a connoisseur of art, perhaps as much as a doped Llama appreciates a Van Gogh. So primarily, as far as an IITian is concerned, its a free of cost program to improve interpersonal skills. Unfortunately, many end up improving their concentration skills. Empathise, friends. Sympathise at least. For living with humans, for records. Only for records.

The ability to solve a transfigured hypercrystallized electrothermophotovoltaic 14 dimensional circuit makes no man.
The ability to watch Venkatasaigirighiranjeevi dancing in Piruthamaathiarthuiachoodu, holding your pee, makes no man either.

Its the ability to make people awe at you, magnetise towards you, make them laugh, with secret jealousy, that get you close to being a man. Of course I'm preaching. I can't do any of that either. But at least I try!
Its after all, appreciation. In real life, you do good only if you appreciate the exquisite nuances of your demand, or thoughts. We live in a society. Beg your pardon, society of men. Not books.
No wonder IITians are so good at research.

Anyways, leaving that 'so damn painfully irritating' part, I enjoyed most of Saarang. No success in any form though. Its allrite. I'm not dejected. I know I'm no good a crowd puller, or an expert. Master of none.
This does keep giving me bouts of inferiority complex, can't help it much though. I want to be the best in what I do. God! Now I empathise with Monica. Apart from all the interesting stuff this fest offered, it more importantly told me how people behave(read change) in a society. How those darned looks differ when accompanied by a couple of new people. How people prioritise. So, it tells me, who my real friends are. And who act to be so, in the non saarang mundane period, which ironically runs for 360 days. It helps me judge people. Yes. I've learnt a lot. In a related bit, I also went through about a 3 hours of trauma, mind shattering experience. Its changed my mind drastically about a few people. Made me lose my sleep for a night. I discussed this only with my best buddy(read Paapi). He empathised with me. Note empathised.

And of course, apart from good events, there was beauty in the campus. Some forced beauty though. Didn't like that. Natural beauty just turns me on. India seriously rocks, in that aspect! T'was time again for inferiority complex. Not a millionth of a penny for guessing why. But that's the way life is. Every dog has its day. Hope and optimism carry life forward. Its just another week after all. The grim getting over Saarang period awaits me.

And all you bastards, who mugged in the room, a million rats on you.

Game

2006-01-22T22:58:00.000+05:30

Guys, have fun.
Girls, pardon me.

Try this.