The Sensex is driving people out of their senses. Bhutto's People's Party clearly doesn't appeal to all the people. Lewis Hamilton needs tons of luck in his life. What's right without a left, they say. Couldn't be truer in today's world. Ditch all that. Let's get to some inputs from my side to the world.
1. Never take short to and fro walks on a street.
I did this a couple of days ago when I dropped my sister at the Dentist's place. I was waiting outside, and for lack of a better thing to do, I decided to take short walks - back and forth, and did so for a while, till I realized someone was giving me company. I looked beside, and there it was, a nice dog. It seemed like it (he/she) had discovered this new dimension in life - Back and forth walking. I stopped, waited for a minute. I started walking, and it started too. I stopped, and yes, it did, too. And then it looked up at me. (I love it when I'm so tall, the angle of inclination at which these small things look at me gives me a kick, like I'm something they look up to, really. Like I was three feet away approximately, which makes it, um, arctan(2). Pretty decent). I decided there was only one way I was going to get rid of it without scaring it. I stopped, took steps sideways (perpendicular to my original direction). It was confused, and it walked away. I felt proud.
2. IQs of RJs
I was on a nice drive, and I made a mistake. I turned the radio on, and I had to hear RJs stuttering away - with words losing their identity, and only sentences having theirs. As in, usually, an alphabet is the tiniest bit you can break down anything to, but for RJs, it's a sentence. It is, gentlemen, a fucking sentence! No, you may not have the right to listen to, or discern words that make them up. Only sentences. And, right from branding 'Kadhal' (love) as success or failure as if it were a race, to high degree illogical statements like Kadhal illamai Vazhkaye Illai ('Without love, there is no life'. I thought it was the other way around), the RJs just prove the Logarithmic IQ law of the universe. The Logarithmic IQ law (Courtesy PBK) states that there are two sets of people in this world.
Set 1: IQ1 = 100 to 160+, IQ1 = Integer
Set 2: IQ2 = log (IQ1)
These RJs are part of Set 2, with logarithmic IQs.
3. Never eat your favourite sweet and drive a car.
Never, ever, do this. It's dangerous. Like this time, when I had a small box of Kaju Burfis to keep me busy while driving. The thought process, went something like this (in a span of 10 seconds)
This Kaju burfi is brilliant - Oh, where's the brake - How can something be so good - Where the hell is the brake - Wow, wow, wow - Ah, there is the brake - Fuck, this is awesome, haven't tasted stuff like this before - Oh, there's something ahead - This is just melting in my mouth. Wow - Oh, that something is coming closer - I should buy more of these - Ok, why is the car ahead coming closer - This rocks - Ok, I need to do something, it's coming too close - Oh, shit, no, I'm going towards it - Wow, I love this again - I think I should brake - Kaju Burfi man, fuck. Pack brake - Oh no, it's a meter away - Oh, apply the brakes - Yumm, Yumm - Shit, I'm gonna bang into it - Brak...Yumm. BRAKE...
4. A Certain Professor
I heard from a MTech student here, that a certain well known senile professor of the design department in Mechanical Engineering here living his last days (Clue: Invert dasarpaviS) gives problems in exams of the following nature.
Original Problem (In a book) - ' Tom and Harry carry out a stress analysis on a beam of the following shape...... They find the critical tangential stresses to be 10 and 20 MPa. They further go on..... Dick joins them and finds out that they've missed out on the normal components of the forces. He corrects them.....'
Problem in the Exam: ' Senthil and Palaninathan carry out a stress analysis on a beam of the following shape...... They find the critical tangential stresses to be 10 and 20 MPa. They further go on..... Panneerselvam joins them and finds out that they've missed out on the normal components of the forces. He corrects them.....'
Creativity, they call it.
5. Advertising
There are so many schools today that teach advertising, the art of advertising, and the different forms of advertising. Advertisers today are moving on to subtlety, capturing emotions, spreading a strong message, developing a brand as a relation, etc. But, my dear friends, there are many who choose to think otherwise, and advertise in the most kuntriest fashion.
Well, I define Kuntryness in advertising to be this:
Kuntryness - Directly Proportional to -> T1/T2
(Or) Kuntryness Ratio = k T1/T2
Where k = Proportionality Constant
T2 = Total duration of the advertisement
T1 = Time duration when the brand name is read out
For instance, an average Ad, say a Ford Ad, would be of a minute's duration, with Ford coming for 3-4 seconds towards the end. The Kuntriness Ratio for a Ford Ad = 1/15 (Take k=1)
Consider the following Ad, which I heard on the radio the other day (It was in Tamil, I'm trying to translate it into English here)
'Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for your mom. Saravana Stores for your dad. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for your brothers and sisters. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for Deepavali. Saravana Stores for Sarees. Saravana Stores for Jewelery. Saravana Stores. Saravana Stores for everything. Come visit. Saravana Stores. Pondy Bazaar, T Nagar. Saravana Stores. Yes, you heard it right, Saravana Stores. '
Kuntryness Ratio would be nearly 1. Fucking one! I mean, what the Sarafuckingvana is this? I swear, if at all I have enough money sometime in the future, I'm going to do a leveraged buyout of Saravana Stores and close it down.
6. Cosmozone
An Ad on Mount Road for a brand of Clothing, Cosmozone, caught my attention, even when I was driving.
Getting to the point, are we?
