Forecast

My forecast for the week, rightly taken from The Week reads:

Look out for favours from the government. This might boost your income. You will have a pleasant journey and a happy married life. Your public relations skills will stand you in good stead. Your social and financial graph will soar. A good relationship with officers will lead to a mutually beneficial enterprise. You will gain respect from your subordinates. Invest wisely.

What the fuck.

I should've written a forecast to the guy who wrote this:

Look out for insults and life threats from the general public and bloggers. This might boost your morale, although it will strongly decrease your life expectancy. You will have a pleasant death, and a happy dead life. Your public relations skills will bring you back alive as you will negotiate successfully with Yama. Your oxygen supply vs time graph will soar. A healthy relationship with the opposite sex will lead to a healthy baby. Invest in sanitary ware.