Nicks..

Nicknames.

Well, if there's something common to all IITians, its gotta be this. This traditional practice of assigning nicknames to students, when they come in as freshers, by seniors, will remain an incessant one. Well, to give you an example of how much this is a part of our culture, the inaugural lecture at last year's SHAASTRA, our tech fest, was delivered by a scientist, an IITM alumnus(I forget his name). And he started with 'Hi. I am Fungus.'

Practically, this helps us dispense with the names, and helps in quick bonding. Now, come on, you must agree with me that you'll be closer to a guy when you start calling him 'Pussy' rather than ' Rishab'. The freshers are nicked by the seniors during the initial ragging session, where the underbelly freshies make a stupid or a blatant error in answering a question or an opinion. Let me try going through some of the names, and how funnily they arose.

Nicks arise mainly, as I said earlier, due to the stupidity on the part of freshies.

Senior : What's the capital of punjab?

Freshie: ....(Stays speechless)

Senior : Ok. Whats the capital of Chandigarh?

Freshie : Whaaat..? There's something Fishy there.

I goddamn don't know what he was thinking. But that how it is. So, he got the nick Fishy.

Well, next, my very own roommate, original name ' Sandeep Rajpurohit'..

Senior: Abey, gaaliaan de.

He: Madar.., Bhen.., Chu....whatever whatever..

Senior: Nahin, I want more..many more.

So our dear fella doesn't know what to do..just makes up.

He: L.. chussu, Ga.. chussu, B.. chussu, XX chussu....ended giving up some n chussu's..

Thus the nick, Chussu.( Those who don't know hindi, pardon me)

Well, some nicks are awesome, like POPA, which stands for President of Po.. Affairs, or BOND, Bastard Of Nth Degree, or BOFI, Butt On Fire, while some can only earn pity, like Testis, or Dickhole. Adding on, my very own friend Siva, earned a nick Stokes, as on being questioned by seniors on the flow pattern of his sem$$, he actually started working it out. And another guy , who was nicked RP(Randi putr) as he didn't know who his room father was. Moving on, another incident last year, when a freshie was being ragged.

Senior : Ok. Assume you're an ant. And you are right at the bottom of a girl's body. Describe your motion upwards, in the best of language.

Freshie : Said something arbit in the beginning, and at a point said ' I reached a hill with an antenna on top'. Man! Hilarious. So he was christened Antenna.

Of course there are guys who are nicked by what they do, as my friend Anand, who apparently looked like a duck while walking, thus Ducky, or a senior, who always scratched his ba;;s, thus Scratchy. Or a past incident, as Spanky, coz he admitted to have spanked a girl's butt in 9th.
And Paapi, as he lied to a senior, which was a 'paap'. And my friend, anirudh, when asked for the split up of his body weight, conveniently forgot his ba;;s, thus Photon balls, in short Photon.
And a freshie, when asked for the size of his ..., reportedly said 'Dedh(One and a half in hindi) inch'. Man..! yeah, so damn accurate huh..? So Dedh.

Which reminds me of my original supposed to be nick which was changed. When asked when was the last time I saw p..., I said it was in 10th, as after that I was busy with JEE preparation. So they were so impressed by the control I had that they wanted to nick me LC(Lun@ Control)..! Which was eventually changed in a matter of minutes to CB, and for the reasons, you can ask someone who knows, not me..!

Some other good nicks include Motorola, Trauma, Lace, Sania, Virgin, Caesar, Konsti, STD, MGM, POTA, etc etc.

And some other bad ones include DV, abnorm, piggie, etc..not many..

And some other gross ones include Thika, STD, Lauda, Lando, Laundiya, Chutiyaps, Hymen, Randi, Pussy, Yoni, Gandu, well, lotsa them.

Happy naming..!