City-Village

Having witnessed rural and urban lives, there are stark differences I notice.

1. In a village, the road is only for walking. Not for driving. In fact, you are the owner of all roads, provided you don't own a vehicle. You can still drive, if you don't mind going at 5 kmph in a Hyundai. All those miracles of the car getting a dent and the pedestrian escaping unhurt, which you read in papers, happen here.

2. In a village, parking ain't a problem. What's the road for, after all?

3. If you happen to be born as an animal (read cow) in future, please take your share of the road here. In a city, you can't - You'll be run over nine million times by autos, whose drivers perceive you as being camouflaged with the road.

4. In a village, if you have 5 bucks, you can have a sumptuous meal. In a city, you can probably use it for a pay urinal, with the only satisfaction that you hear a ' Hi baby. You can ** here. No, no, not there. Here ' with a seductive voice. And you can fantasize about her for the next 45 nights. Till your AllOut gets over.

5. If you need to travel a couple of kilometers, in a village you don't have a problem at all. Just join the hundred others taking the walk. In a city however, you can either pay 2 bucks and catch a running bus. Or pay 50 bucks, and get into an auto. Or walk, and get run over by an auto.

6. In a village, you need legs to travel. In a city, hands are enough. You can hold the window of a bus and hang from it peacefully.

7. In a city, bill stickers are prosecuted. In a village, prosecutors are bill stickers.

8. In a village, you can stand at a place for hours, think about things. In a city too, you can, if you can manage an interruption every second minute with a 'Saaaar. Auto saaaar?'. Usually this doesn't happen, and you end up feeing it's better off getting into an auto and thinking. Only that you slip out silently at the next signal, which leads to a confusion amongst public when the fellow realizes this a hundred metres down the road on a flyover, and gets down and starts abusing the air.

9. In a city, if you own a music cassette, it solely belongs to you. You make sure no one hears what you've paid for, and buy a walkman for 500 bucks. In a village, you force a Christian to listen to 'Bhaja Govindam', playing it in your shop at 500 Db.

10. If you're absolutely without a job, and you're in a village, you can appoint yourself to be a security at any shop, keeping 100 stones in your pocket to drive away dogs and cows. (You actually waste some by throwing them at ants). If you're in a city, you can appoint yourself as an accident moderator, and wait all day for accidents to happen, and tell a party that it was his/her fault. In case no accidents happen, disguise yourself as a policeman, and stop a Premier Padmini going at 15 kmph, and convince others that it was going at 115, thus getting money. Oh, this'll work only if you've got a pot belly.

To be continued, perhaps.