I'm fed up. I'm removing the comments section, at least temporarily.
As already told a thousand times, I write what I feel like, and will continue to do so. I don't give jackshit of what it means to any of you.
I don't know why, but a couple of comments in my last post made me do this, including
' lol.. cupper.. sit and code da ! '
' ThuuThuu!
Started with Krrish and ended with Floyd.Focus on what u intend to write and don't bring Floyd *everywhere*,nevertheless Floyd is *good*'
' Dude your trademark humour seems to be missing in this post!
I should say this is the worst post of all on your blog!
-Anon '
Whatever, I don't want to see comments for a while. And I'll continue writing what I want to, and not what YOU want me to.
UPDATE : I'm bringing it back on, thanks to a few good words from Priya. It feels stupid now. Anyway, please don't stop giving out negative comments. As I told Priya, I don't mind if you say "You suck" or "You're a tasteless pimp". In fact, when Vatsa ripped a few of my posts to pieces, I didn't mind. However, please don't comment asking me to "focus" on what I write or asking me where my "Trademark" humor disappeared. Thanks.
6/30/2006
6/28/2006
Damn.
After I got a bit bored after a stretch of Matlab programming, I decided to take a break; opened winamp, and thought of listening to some hindi track for a change. I scrolled down the list, and picked a song Pyaar ki kahani from Krrish, a recent movie starring Hrithik Roshan.
I double clicked it, closed my laptop, stretched myself in a relaxed pose, closed my eyes.
And I realized how stupid anyone can get.
The song starts with the line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani' from Hrithik.(For those who don't know hindi, it means 'Come on, let me tell you a story'). Then there's blah blah blah, which is nice to hear, good music. But for a change, as I was really bored, instead of the listening to the music, I wanted to listen to the story that Hrithik so much promised me and Priyanka Chopra. The story was idiotic by itself, comprising not more than 3-4 lines, which if you want to summarize, goes like this : Once upon a time, there was a guy, there was a girl too. Both saw each other, laughed for a while, made out, and then made love. (Please excuse me if the story is a bit contorted)
The amazing part was this: After singing all this crap, he goes back to the same line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. Goddammit, you've already told the story man! Do these guys not have sense or what? On hearing this, I actually went back a bit to recheck if I had missed the word wapas, hoping he said 'Aao Wapas sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. But No! Wait wait! Thats not it! You have Priyanka Chopra next, singing 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani', with the same story(or song) to Hrithik!
I just couldn't tolerate this, and Shift deleted the song. Oh god, don't punish me for being harsh to the song!
I double clicked it, closed my laptop, stretched myself in a relaxed pose, closed my eyes.
And I realized how stupid anyone can get.
The song starts with the line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani' from Hrithik.(For those who don't know hindi, it means 'Come on, let me tell you a story'). Then there's blah blah blah, which is nice to hear, good music. But for a change, as I was really bored, instead of the listening to the music, I wanted to listen to the story that Hrithik so much promised me and Priyanka Chopra. The story was idiotic by itself, comprising not more than 3-4 lines, which if you want to summarize, goes like this : Once upon a time, there was a guy, there was a girl too. Both saw each other, laughed for a while, made out, and then made love. (Please excuse me if the story is a bit contorted)
The amazing part was this: After singing all this crap, he goes back to the same line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. Goddammit, you've already told the story man! Do these guys not have sense or what? On hearing this, I actually went back a bit to recheck if I had missed the word wapas, hoping he said 'Aao Wapas sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. But No! Wait wait! Thats not it! You have Priyanka Chopra next, singing 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani', with the same story(or song) to Hrithik!
I just couldn't tolerate this, and Shift deleted the song. Oh god, don't punish me for being harsh to the song!
6/14/2006
Soaps: Applications in life
Tell me one of the most happening, sought after, knowledgeable, valuable experiences in the current Indian society, which is witness to mankind's creativity and powers of imagination.
Yes, yes, you're right! Soaps!
Let me give some tips to the common man as to how you can apply 'soap' situations in your real life.
What a piece of creation, I must say. As informative as a life encyclopedia, but not as boring.
Serials help the common man a lot. Switch on a Tamil or a Kannada serial, and you'll exactly know which distemper and paint not to buy for your house. If you want to learn the Veena, please don't join any class, just put on a serial, blindfold yourself, catch your crotch, and listen intently. And become a maestro.
Put on a Hindi serial, and you'll learn important tricks to seduce your partner, like sleeping with lipstick on, and a silk saree that could cover up an elephant. Only that I must warn you, you might suffocate to death. And you cannot come back alive (Note the difference).
You also learn important social principles and behaviors, like the fact that whenever you see a couple about to kiss, hold your breath for while, let them get millimeters close, and when they're about to kiss, let out a shout, so that lips don't meet. Remember, if lips meet, sun disappears. Also remember, if you don't shout, someone else will. So, shout and get yourself heard.
Take inspiration from a serial, and realize that your day should start with you reading the newspaper and drinking tea. Remember, if you feel like taking a leak, remove the feeling. Also, you should live in a house with a garden. If you don't, you'll be buried alive. Next, you should have guests visiting your house everyday. If they don't, you should visit them. Remember, if neither of these happen, sun disappears.
Next, when you travel to your office by an Auto, don't worry about time, there's always a soul mate auto for you, which comes in the second you reach the road, and drops you in five minutes wherever you want to go, provided you catch your soul mate auto. Note this important point: When you get down, pay the auto fellow only in notes. Not in coins. And at no cost should you take back any change. Remember, if either of these happen the opposite way, you disappear.
Next, when you speak to someone on the phone, you should never ask who the person on that side is. You should complete your entire made up speech, and then confirm if you said it to the right person. Remember, it's invariably the wrong person. But don't worry, he'll call you up and do the same mistake, so you both are even.
You should remember your manners; whenever someone comes home, greet them, and immediately ask them if they want anything hot or cold. Here I must warn you, they might say yes. But then, you can punish them for their lack of manners by giving them Horlicks.
Next, when you walk on a road and a pretty girl walks toward you, when you pass by, make sure you hit her, so that she drops something and you both can stare at each other for 15 seconds, before the sound of vultures above you makes you move. But make sure you don't take your lips close, as someone is always waiting to let out a shout, and you might piss getting scared. The entire purpose is ruined then. Also, remember, if you don't hit her, you evaporate.
Now, when you think of calling up a girl, never do it. Because, the same second you call, she's dialing your number. So, here's the trick: Pick up the phone, act as if you're dialing a number but don't. The supernatural forces don't know this, and she dials your number and you get to speak to her. Though I must warn you, she might also be acting, hence, wait for a while, and dial. But then, she dials too. Don't worry. You cannot speak on the phone. Yes, I wasted your time.
If you ask me, 'Which do you prefer, watching Indian serials, or listening to a bald Taiwan man reciting nursery rhymes on an ocean floor?', I would prefer the latter.
Yes, yes, you're right! Soaps!
Let me give some tips to the common man as to how you can apply 'soap' situations in your real life.
What a piece of creation, I must say. As informative as a life encyclopedia, but not as boring.
Serials help the common man a lot. Switch on a Tamil or a Kannada serial, and you'll exactly know which distemper and paint not to buy for your house. If you want to learn the Veena, please don't join any class, just put on a serial, blindfold yourself, catch your crotch, and listen intently. And become a maestro.
Put on a Hindi serial, and you'll learn important tricks to seduce your partner, like sleeping with lipstick on, and a silk saree that could cover up an elephant. Only that I must warn you, you might suffocate to death. And you cannot come back alive (Note the difference).
You also learn important social principles and behaviors, like the fact that whenever you see a couple about to kiss, hold your breath for while, let them get millimeters close, and when they're about to kiss, let out a shout, so that lips don't meet. Remember, if lips meet, sun disappears. Also remember, if you don't shout, someone else will. So, shout and get yourself heard.
Take inspiration from a serial, and realize that your day should start with you reading the newspaper and drinking tea. Remember, if you feel like taking a leak, remove the feeling. Also, you should live in a house with a garden. If you don't, you'll be buried alive. Next, you should have guests visiting your house everyday. If they don't, you should visit them. Remember, if neither of these happen, sun disappears.
Next, when you travel to your office by an Auto, don't worry about time, there's always a soul mate auto for you, which comes in the second you reach the road, and drops you in five minutes wherever you want to go, provided you catch your soul mate auto. Note this important point: When you get down, pay the auto fellow only in notes. Not in coins. And at no cost should you take back any change. Remember, if either of these happen the opposite way, you disappear.
Next, when you speak to someone on the phone, you should never ask who the person on that side is. You should complete your entire made up speech, and then confirm if you said it to the right person. Remember, it's invariably the wrong person. But don't worry, he'll call you up and do the same mistake, so you both are even.
You should remember your manners; whenever someone comes home, greet them, and immediately ask them if they want anything hot or cold. Here I must warn you, they might say yes. But then, you can punish them for their lack of manners by giving them Horlicks.
Next, when you walk on a road and a pretty girl walks toward you, when you pass by, make sure you hit her, so that she drops something and you both can stare at each other for 15 seconds, before the sound of vultures above you makes you move. But make sure you don't take your lips close, as someone is always waiting to let out a shout, and you might piss getting scared. The entire purpose is ruined then. Also, remember, if you don't hit her, you evaporate.
Now, when you think of calling up a girl, never do it. Because, the same second you call, she's dialing your number. So, here's the trick: Pick up the phone, act as if you're dialing a number but don't. The supernatural forces don't know this, and she dials your number and you get to speak to her. Though I must warn you, she might also be acting, hence, wait for a while, and dial. But then, she dials too. Don't worry. You cannot speak on the phone. Yes, I wasted your time.
If you ask me, 'Which do you prefer, watching Indian serials, or listening to a bald Taiwan man reciting nursery rhymes on an ocean floor?', I would prefer the latter.
6/06/2006
Dream a dream
Why this topic? Because I'm almost doing that right now. It's 5:30 in the evening, and a whole day has passed without any progress whatsoever. I'm so damn tired, and feel like sleeping and having a nice dream to cheer me up. I don't know if any of you pray for good dreams, but I do. I somehow enjoy good dreams, and it's all a feel good thing in the morning after you've had a nice refreshing dream. And I've somehow had so many experiences and twists with dreams that I thought it was time I jotted them down.
I almost never dream in class, and I cannot reason that out. Probably the constant encounter of some arbit frequency, arbit amplitude jargonistic noise with the delicate eardrums evaporates any of the dreams that have taken birth. In about one in ten dreams, I get to remember the birth of the dream, ie - how and where it started. (And invariably it starts in a class, ironically)
A prominent feature of my dreams is the blending of totally unrelated stuff, in a related environment or an activity. I've told a few of them to my friends, which made them go ROTFL. One was when I'd seen a fashion show the previous day on paapi's comp, about a week after Saarang, and I dreamt that one of my classmates (girl) had dressed up in a bikini, drumming for the Led Zepplica Band in our OAT. If you thought this was funny, you ought to hear the dream when one of my profs came to my grandfather asking for a sex change operation, and my grandfather sent him back saying he was too young.
Many a times, I've had serious dreams, sometimes scary, near death. During the JEE days, there was so much studying that dreams would predominantly consist of problems. It used to reach extremes when I would resolve a few Irodov problems in my dream. My mom used to have a tough time understanding all this when my reaction to her trying to wake me up would be a 'Don't disturb me, I'll get up slowly from one axis' or 'Wait. I'll approximate and get up'.
Well, my mom is clever you see. She would have her sweet revenge by confusing me asking questions like 'Are you going to college with Karthik, or with Siva?'. I would get terribly confused, wondering if I was Karthik or someone else. I would get up furiously, and all my mom would do was laugh. In fact, I remember the day when Siva told me this: While his mom was waking him up that day, he refused to get up till she answered his question. His question being 'In how many ways can I get up?'. Just a bit of combinatorics running in his mind.
Well, those were those.(Whatever that meant)
There were dreams that I still think are due to the influence of extra-terrestrial beings. What else could explain this: One monday, I dreamt that I shot a guy with a pistol. Tuesday, I killed another guy pushing him from a terrace. Wednesday, I stabbed a guy, Thursday, I pushed a guy into a railway track killing him. Friday, I didn't sleep thinking of this, but somehow pinched a guy killing him. And please, I've never killed a guy!
Some have been scary, like a car hitting me, or being pushed down a building(It's my turn now).
If you get hit by a car in your dream, and you don't get up, you're a saintly moron. Now, I also plan to do research on this, that body conditions are crucially responsible for any dream that you give birth to. For, getting hit by a car makes me get up, take a leak, come back, and dream that I'm with Jennifer Lopez.
The weirdest experience I've had in dreams is the time when I dreamt(?) that I was doing that, that being the holy task of growing up, which gives emotional, psychological, physiological and mental satisfaction; and my mom comes into the room. Now, till date, till this minute, I don't know if that was only in my dreams, or I actually did that.
Aah, I'm feeling too sleepy. Better go and have a nice dream.
I almost never dream in class, and I cannot reason that out. Probably the constant encounter of some arbit frequency, arbit amplitude jargonistic noise with the delicate eardrums evaporates any of the dreams that have taken birth. In about one in ten dreams, I get to remember the birth of the dream, ie - how and where it started. (And invariably it starts in a class, ironically)
A prominent feature of my dreams is the blending of totally unrelated stuff, in a related environment or an activity. I've told a few of them to my friends, which made them go ROTFL. One was when I'd seen a fashion show the previous day on paapi's comp, about a week after Saarang, and I dreamt that one of my classmates (girl) had dressed up in a bikini, drumming for the Led Zepplica Band in our OAT. If you thought this was funny, you ought to hear the dream when one of my profs came to my grandfather asking for a sex change operation, and my grandfather sent him back saying he was too young.
Many a times, I've had serious dreams, sometimes scary, near death. During the JEE days, there was so much studying that dreams would predominantly consist of problems. It used to reach extremes when I would resolve a few Irodov problems in my dream. My mom used to have a tough time understanding all this when my reaction to her trying to wake me up would be a 'Don't disturb me, I'll get up slowly from one axis' or 'Wait. I'll approximate and get up'.
Well, my mom is clever you see. She would have her sweet revenge by confusing me asking questions like 'Are you going to college with Karthik, or with Siva?'. I would get terribly confused, wondering if I was Karthik or someone else. I would get up furiously, and all my mom would do was laugh. In fact, I remember the day when Siva told me this: While his mom was waking him up that day, he refused to get up till she answered his question. His question being 'In how many ways can I get up?'. Just a bit of combinatorics running in his mind.
Well, those were those.(Whatever that meant)
There were dreams that I still think are due to the influence of extra-terrestrial beings. What else could explain this: One monday, I dreamt that I shot a guy with a pistol. Tuesday, I killed another guy pushing him from a terrace. Wednesday, I stabbed a guy, Thursday, I pushed a guy into a railway track killing him. Friday, I didn't sleep thinking of this, but somehow pinched a guy killing him. And please, I've never killed a guy!
Some have been scary, like a car hitting me, or being pushed down a building(It's my turn now).
If you get hit by a car in your dream, and you don't get up, you're a saintly moron. Now, I also plan to do research on this, that body conditions are crucially responsible for any dream that you give birth to. For, getting hit by a car makes me get up, take a leak, come back, and dream that I'm with Jennifer Lopez.
The weirdest experience I've had in dreams is the time when I dreamt(?) that I was doing that, that being the holy task of growing up, which gives emotional, psychological, physiological and mental satisfaction; and my mom comes into the room. Now, till date, till this minute, I don't know if that was only in my dreams, or I actually did that.
Aah, I'm feeling too sleepy. Better go and have a nice dream.
6/05/2006
142236245
He knew what he wanted.
A weird feeling passed through his head, and he sat still. Staring at the mirror, he wondered; what was making him so uncomfortable?He started to recollect the day’s incidents, trying to remember the one thing that was making him restless. He didn’t want to talk. He hadn’t had lunch, and it was 8 at night; hunger didn’t seem to get close. He couldn’t read. All he could do was to stare at the mirror.
Suddenly, everything seemed different. He was looked at differently by people. The others seemed to draw a line between them and him. A look or glance towards him seemed to be filled with respect. He began to act differently. He’d realized this; that didn’t do any good either. He had to live this way. He wanted to get back to his own self. He hated this. There was nobody to blame but him. He’d chosen to do this.
It was strange the way life moved on, making new friends, changing priorities, new ambitions and a fresh outlook to life, a newly evolved being. And there was no going back.
He knew what he wanted.
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