I'm fed up. I'm removing the comments section, at least temporarily.
As already told a thousand times, I write what I feel like, and will continue to do so. I don't give jackshit of what it means to any of you.
I don't know why, but a couple of comments in my last post made me do this, including
' lol.. cupper.. sit and code da ! '
' ThuuThuu!
Started with Krrish and ended with Floyd.Focus on what u intend to write and don't bring Floyd *everywhere*,nevertheless Floyd is *good*'
' Dude your trademark humour seems to be missing in this post!
I should say this is the worst post of all on your blog!
-Anon '
Whatever, I don't want to see comments for a while. And I'll continue writing what I want to, and not what YOU want me to.
UPDATE : I'm bringing it back on, thanks to a few good words from Priya. It feels stupid now. Anyway, please don't stop giving out negative comments. As I told Priya, I don't mind if you say "You suck" or "You're a tasteless pimp". In fact, when Vatsa ripped a few of my posts to pieces, I didn't mind. However, please don't comment asking me to "focus" on what I write or asking me where my "Trademark" humor disappeared. Thanks.
6/30/2006
6/28/2006
Damn.
After I got a bit bored after a stretch of Matlab programming, I decided to take a break; opened winamp, and thought of listening to some hindi track for a change. I scrolled down the list, and picked a song Pyaar ki kahani from Krrish, a recent movie starring Hrithik Roshan.
I double clicked it, closed my laptop, stretched myself in a relaxed pose, closed my eyes.
And I realized how stupid anyone can get.
The song starts with the line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani' from Hrithik.(For those who don't know hindi, it means 'Come on, let me tell you a story'). Then there's blah blah blah, which is nice to hear, good music. But for a change, as I was really bored, instead of the listening to the music, I wanted to listen to the story that Hrithik so much promised me and Priyanka Chopra. The story was idiotic by itself, comprising not more than 3-4 lines, which if you want to summarize, goes like this : Once upon a time, there was a guy, there was a girl too. Both saw each other, laughed for a while, made out, and then made love. (Please excuse me if the story is a bit contorted)
The amazing part was this: After singing all this crap, he goes back to the same line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. Goddammit, you've already told the story man! Do these guys not have sense or what? On hearing this, I actually went back a bit to recheck if I had missed the word wapas, hoping he said 'Aao Wapas sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. But No! Wait wait! Thats not it! You have Priyanka Chopra next, singing 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani', with the same story(or song) to Hrithik!
I just couldn't tolerate this, and Shift deleted the song. Oh god, don't punish me for being harsh to the song!
I double clicked it, closed my laptop, stretched myself in a relaxed pose, closed my eyes.
And I realized how stupid anyone can get.
The song starts with the line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani' from Hrithik.(For those who don't know hindi, it means 'Come on, let me tell you a story'). Then there's blah blah blah, which is nice to hear, good music. But for a change, as I was really bored, instead of the listening to the music, I wanted to listen to the story that Hrithik so much promised me and Priyanka Chopra. The story was idiotic by itself, comprising not more than 3-4 lines, which if you want to summarize, goes like this : Once upon a time, there was a guy, there was a girl too. Both saw each other, laughed for a while, made out, and then made love. (Please excuse me if the story is a bit contorted)
The amazing part was this: After singing all this crap, he goes back to the same line 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. Goddammit, you've already told the story man! Do these guys not have sense or what? On hearing this, I actually went back a bit to recheck if I had missed the word wapas, hoping he said 'Aao Wapas sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani'. But No! Wait wait! Thats not it! You have Priyanka Chopra next, singing 'Aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani', with the same story(or song) to Hrithik!
I just couldn't tolerate this, and Shift deleted the song. Oh god, don't punish me for being harsh to the song!
6/14/2006
Soaps: Applications in life
Tell me one of the most happening, sought after, knowledgeable, valuable experiences in the current Indian society, which is witness to mankind's creativity and powers of imagination.
Yes, yes, you're right! Soaps!
Let me give some tips to the common man as to how you can apply 'soap' situations in your real life.
What a piece of creation, I must say. As informative as a life encyclopedia, but not as boring.
Serials help the common man a lot. Switch on a Tamil or a Kannada serial, and you'll exactly know which distemper and paint not to buy for your house. If you want to learn the Veena, please don't join any class, just put on a serial, blindfold yourself, catch your crotch, and listen intently. And become a maestro.
Put on a Hindi serial, and you'll learn important tricks to seduce your partner, like sleeping with lipstick on, and a silk saree that could cover up an elephant. Only that I must warn you, you might suffocate to death. And you cannot come back alive (Note the difference).
You also learn important social principles and behaviors, like the fact that whenever you see a couple about to kiss, hold your breath for while, let them get millimeters close, and when they're about to kiss, let out a shout, so that lips don't meet. Remember, if lips meet, sun disappears. Also remember, if you don't shout, someone else will. So, shout and get yourself heard.
Take inspiration from a serial, and realize that your day should start with you reading the newspaper and drinking tea. Remember, if you feel like taking a leak, remove the feeling. Also, you should live in a house with a garden. If you don't, you'll be buried alive. Next, you should have guests visiting your house everyday. If they don't, you should visit them. Remember, if neither of these happen, sun disappears.
Next, when you travel to your office by an Auto, don't worry about time, there's always a soul mate auto for you, which comes in the second you reach the road, and drops you in five minutes wherever you want to go, provided you catch your soul mate auto. Note this important point: When you get down, pay the auto fellow only in notes. Not in coins. And at no cost should you take back any change. Remember, if either of these happen the opposite way, you disappear.
Next, when you speak to someone on the phone, you should never ask who the person on that side is. You should complete your entire made up speech, and then confirm if you said it to the right person. Remember, it's invariably the wrong person. But don't worry, he'll call you up and do the same mistake, so you both are even.
You should remember your manners; whenever someone comes home, greet them, and immediately ask them if they want anything hot or cold. Here I must warn you, they might say yes. But then, you can punish them for their lack of manners by giving them Horlicks.
Next, when you walk on a road and a pretty girl walks toward you, when you pass by, make sure you hit her, so that she drops something and you both can stare at each other for 15 seconds, before the sound of vultures above you makes you move. But make sure you don't take your lips close, as someone is always waiting to let out a shout, and you might piss getting scared. The entire purpose is ruined then. Also, remember, if you don't hit her, you evaporate.
Now, when you think of calling up a girl, never do it. Because, the same second you call, she's dialing your number. So, here's the trick: Pick up the phone, act as if you're dialing a number but don't. The supernatural forces don't know this, and she dials your number and you get to speak to her. Though I must warn you, she might also be acting, hence, wait for a while, and dial. But then, she dials too. Don't worry. You cannot speak on the phone. Yes, I wasted your time.
If you ask me, 'Which do you prefer, watching Indian serials, or listening to a bald Taiwan man reciting nursery rhymes on an ocean floor?', I would prefer the latter.
Yes, yes, you're right! Soaps!
Let me give some tips to the common man as to how you can apply 'soap' situations in your real life.
What a piece of creation, I must say. As informative as a life encyclopedia, but not as boring.
Serials help the common man a lot. Switch on a Tamil or a Kannada serial, and you'll exactly know which distemper and paint not to buy for your house. If you want to learn the Veena, please don't join any class, just put on a serial, blindfold yourself, catch your crotch, and listen intently. And become a maestro.
Put on a Hindi serial, and you'll learn important tricks to seduce your partner, like sleeping with lipstick on, and a silk saree that could cover up an elephant. Only that I must warn you, you might suffocate to death. And you cannot come back alive (Note the difference).
You also learn important social principles and behaviors, like the fact that whenever you see a couple about to kiss, hold your breath for while, let them get millimeters close, and when they're about to kiss, let out a shout, so that lips don't meet. Remember, if lips meet, sun disappears. Also remember, if you don't shout, someone else will. So, shout and get yourself heard.
Take inspiration from a serial, and realize that your day should start with you reading the newspaper and drinking tea. Remember, if you feel like taking a leak, remove the feeling. Also, you should live in a house with a garden. If you don't, you'll be buried alive. Next, you should have guests visiting your house everyday. If they don't, you should visit them. Remember, if neither of these happen, sun disappears.
Next, when you travel to your office by an Auto, don't worry about time, there's always a soul mate auto for you, which comes in the second you reach the road, and drops you in five minutes wherever you want to go, provided you catch your soul mate auto. Note this important point: When you get down, pay the auto fellow only in notes. Not in coins. And at no cost should you take back any change. Remember, if either of these happen the opposite way, you disappear.
Next, when you speak to someone on the phone, you should never ask who the person on that side is. You should complete your entire made up speech, and then confirm if you said it to the right person. Remember, it's invariably the wrong person. But don't worry, he'll call you up and do the same mistake, so you both are even.
You should remember your manners; whenever someone comes home, greet them, and immediately ask them if they want anything hot or cold. Here I must warn you, they might say yes. But then, you can punish them for their lack of manners by giving them Horlicks.
Next, when you walk on a road and a pretty girl walks toward you, when you pass by, make sure you hit her, so that she drops something and you both can stare at each other for 15 seconds, before the sound of vultures above you makes you move. But make sure you don't take your lips close, as someone is always waiting to let out a shout, and you might piss getting scared. The entire purpose is ruined then. Also, remember, if you don't hit her, you evaporate.
Now, when you think of calling up a girl, never do it. Because, the same second you call, she's dialing your number. So, here's the trick: Pick up the phone, act as if you're dialing a number but don't. The supernatural forces don't know this, and she dials your number and you get to speak to her. Though I must warn you, she might also be acting, hence, wait for a while, and dial. But then, she dials too. Don't worry. You cannot speak on the phone. Yes, I wasted your time.
If you ask me, 'Which do you prefer, watching Indian serials, or listening to a bald Taiwan man reciting nursery rhymes on an ocean floor?', I would prefer the latter.
6/06/2006
Dream a dream
Why this topic? Because I'm almost doing that right now. It's 5:30 in the evening, and a whole day has passed without any progress whatsoever. I'm so damn tired, and feel like sleeping and having a nice dream to cheer me up. I don't know if any of you pray for good dreams, but I do. I somehow enjoy good dreams, and it's all a feel good thing in the morning after you've had a nice refreshing dream. And I've somehow had so many experiences and twists with dreams that I thought it was time I jotted them down.
I almost never dream in class, and I cannot reason that out. Probably the constant encounter of some arbit frequency, arbit amplitude jargonistic noise with the delicate eardrums evaporates any of the dreams that have taken birth. In about one in ten dreams, I get to remember the birth of the dream, ie - how and where it started. (And invariably it starts in a class, ironically)
A prominent feature of my dreams is the blending of totally unrelated stuff, in a related environment or an activity. I've told a few of them to my friends, which made them go ROTFL. One was when I'd seen a fashion show the previous day on paapi's comp, about a week after Saarang, and I dreamt that one of my classmates (girl) had dressed up in a bikini, drumming for the Led Zepplica Band in our OAT. If you thought this was funny, you ought to hear the dream when one of my profs came to my grandfather asking for a sex change operation, and my grandfather sent him back saying he was too young.
Many a times, I've had serious dreams, sometimes scary, near death. During the JEE days, there was so much studying that dreams would predominantly consist of problems. It used to reach extremes when I would resolve a few Irodov problems in my dream. My mom used to have a tough time understanding all this when my reaction to her trying to wake me up would be a 'Don't disturb me, I'll get up slowly from one axis' or 'Wait. I'll approximate and get up'.
Well, my mom is clever you see. She would have her sweet revenge by confusing me asking questions like 'Are you going to college with Karthik, or with Siva?'. I would get terribly confused, wondering if I was Karthik or someone else. I would get up furiously, and all my mom would do was laugh. In fact, I remember the day when Siva told me this: While his mom was waking him up that day, he refused to get up till she answered his question. His question being 'In how many ways can I get up?'. Just a bit of combinatorics running in his mind.
Well, those were those.(Whatever that meant)
There were dreams that I still think are due to the influence of extra-terrestrial beings. What else could explain this: One monday, I dreamt that I shot a guy with a pistol. Tuesday, I killed another guy pushing him from a terrace. Wednesday, I stabbed a guy, Thursday, I pushed a guy into a railway track killing him. Friday, I didn't sleep thinking of this, but somehow pinched a guy killing him. And please, I've never killed a guy!
Some have been scary, like a car hitting me, or being pushed down a building(It's my turn now).
If you get hit by a car in your dream, and you don't get up, you're a saintly moron. Now, I also plan to do research on this, that body conditions are crucially responsible for any dream that you give birth to. For, getting hit by a car makes me get up, take a leak, come back, and dream that I'm with Jennifer Lopez.
The weirdest experience I've had in dreams is the time when I dreamt(?) that I was doing that, that being the holy task of growing up, which gives emotional, psychological, physiological and mental satisfaction; and my mom comes into the room. Now, till date, till this minute, I don't know if that was only in my dreams, or I actually did that.
Aah, I'm feeling too sleepy. Better go and have a nice dream.
I almost never dream in class, and I cannot reason that out. Probably the constant encounter of some arbit frequency, arbit amplitude jargonistic noise with the delicate eardrums evaporates any of the dreams that have taken birth. In about one in ten dreams, I get to remember the birth of the dream, ie - how and where it started. (And invariably it starts in a class, ironically)
A prominent feature of my dreams is the blending of totally unrelated stuff, in a related environment or an activity. I've told a few of them to my friends, which made them go ROTFL. One was when I'd seen a fashion show the previous day on paapi's comp, about a week after Saarang, and I dreamt that one of my classmates (girl) had dressed up in a bikini, drumming for the Led Zepplica Band in our OAT. If you thought this was funny, you ought to hear the dream when one of my profs came to my grandfather asking for a sex change operation, and my grandfather sent him back saying he was too young.
Many a times, I've had serious dreams, sometimes scary, near death. During the JEE days, there was so much studying that dreams would predominantly consist of problems. It used to reach extremes when I would resolve a few Irodov problems in my dream. My mom used to have a tough time understanding all this when my reaction to her trying to wake me up would be a 'Don't disturb me, I'll get up slowly from one axis' or 'Wait. I'll approximate and get up'.
Well, my mom is clever you see. She would have her sweet revenge by confusing me asking questions like 'Are you going to college with Karthik, or with Siva?'. I would get terribly confused, wondering if I was Karthik or someone else. I would get up furiously, and all my mom would do was laugh. In fact, I remember the day when Siva told me this: While his mom was waking him up that day, he refused to get up till she answered his question. His question being 'In how many ways can I get up?'. Just a bit of combinatorics running in his mind.
Well, those were those.(Whatever that meant)
There were dreams that I still think are due to the influence of extra-terrestrial beings. What else could explain this: One monday, I dreamt that I shot a guy with a pistol. Tuesday, I killed another guy pushing him from a terrace. Wednesday, I stabbed a guy, Thursday, I pushed a guy into a railway track killing him. Friday, I didn't sleep thinking of this, but somehow pinched a guy killing him. And please, I've never killed a guy!
Some have been scary, like a car hitting me, or being pushed down a building(It's my turn now).
If you get hit by a car in your dream, and you don't get up, you're a saintly moron. Now, I also plan to do research on this, that body conditions are crucially responsible for any dream that you give birth to. For, getting hit by a car makes me get up, take a leak, come back, and dream that I'm with Jennifer Lopez.
The weirdest experience I've had in dreams is the time when I dreamt(?) that I was doing that, that being the holy task of growing up, which gives emotional, psychological, physiological and mental satisfaction; and my mom comes into the room. Now, till date, till this minute, I don't know if that was only in my dreams, or I actually did that.
Aah, I'm feeling too sleepy. Better go and have a nice dream.
6/05/2006
142236245
He knew what he wanted.
A weird feeling passed through his head, and he sat still. Staring at the mirror, he wondered; what was making him so uncomfortable?He started to recollect the day’s incidents, trying to remember the one thing that was making him restless. He didn’t want to talk. He hadn’t had lunch, and it was 8 at night; hunger didn’t seem to get close. He couldn’t read. All he could do was to stare at the mirror.
Suddenly, everything seemed different. He was looked at differently by people. The others seemed to draw a line between them and him. A look or glance towards him seemed to be filled with respect. He began to act differently. He’d realized this; that didn’t do any good either. He had to live this way. He wanted to get back to his own self. He hated this. There was nobody to blame but him. He’d chosen to do this.
It was strange the way life moved on, making new friends, changing priorities, new ambitions and a fresh outlook to life, a newly evolved being. And there was no going back.
He knew what he wanted.
5/14/2006
Here comes!
Presenting to you, The God of Mech, IITM, the man, the stud.
The evil muggoo. With a title of 'Veni, vidi, vetti' which made me go ROTFL, this promises to be fun.
The evil muggoo. With a title of 'Veni, vidi, vetti' which made me go ROTFL, this promises to be fun.
5/05/2006
'f u undrsntd dis tis gud
In today's world, what privilege do girls enjoy that boys don't?
No, not getting full marks even after writing A implies B, so B implies A.
But getting messages and orkut scraps which read
'hi. h r u u i wan frenz u. pl riply '. Just wish I had this privilege, so that I could reply 'I want to, but I cannot possibly frenz you'. I mean, there was this girl in yahoo, who would always, every single time start the conversation with 'hi. h r u?' In what way does it make her job easier, I do not understand. For all she knows, someone might as well interpret it as 'Haraami, are you?' And tell her foff hoping she understood what that meant. I do not intend to hurt, or mock at anyone who doesn't know, or it not proficient in English. It's about those who can write perfectly, still resort to 'k.ta. thnkq', instead of a word more 'Ok, thanks.Tata'. In a mobile (read sms) it's at least understandable, especially for people like me, whose thumb much to the irritation covers 4 keys, and a 'this' becomes a 'tits'. It adds to the comfort using a 'u' instead of a 'you'. But using fyne for fine, that too on a comp, as my friend D does, is surely a different case.
The one other thing that pisses me off in this is the convenient use and insertion of numbers. hi. 4m wer r u. gr8 to meet u . Why the hell do you want numbers to communicate or get a point across, when you have a zillion words? (Of course there are exceptions where numbers describe a situation very efficiently, like 'Hey, how was it yesterday?' can get a reply 'Was a 69').
I just don't get the rationale, if there's any. If people do it just for the pseud value, and feel that doing so makes them look cool, they're statistically stupid. (Yeah, I've done too much of stats last sem, I needed to use it somewhere). Of course, people change only when they have a self realization. Not that all this is wrong, it's just that I'm personally irritated, and blogger's been very nice to listen to me.
And yeah, if you're chronically affected by this, you'll probably end up typing a disastrous statement like 'b4 u cum here, i ll cum there', which can make/break relationships forever.
No, not getting full marks even after writing A implies B, so B implies A.
But getting messages and orkut scraps which read
'hi. h r u u i wan frenz u. pl riply '. Just wish I had this privilege, so that I could reply 'I want to, but I cannot possibly frenz you'. I mean, there was this girl in yahoo, who would always, every single time start the conversation with 'hi. h r u?' In what way does it make her job easier, I do not understand. For all she knows, someone might as well interpret it as 'Haraami, are you?' And tell her foff hoping she understood what that meant. I do not intend to hurt, or mock at anyone who doesn't know, or it not proficient in English. It's about those who can write perfectly, still resort to 'k.ta. thnkq', instead of a word more 'Ok, thanks.Tata'. In a mobile (read sms) it's at least understandable, especially for people like me, whose thumb much to the irritation covers 4 keys, and a 'this' becomes a 'tits'. It adds to the comfort using a 'u' instead of a 'you'. But using fyne for fine, that too on a comp, as my friend D does, is surely a different case.
The one other thing that pisses me off in this is the convenient use and insertion of numbers. hi. 4m wer r u. gr8 to meet u . Why the hell do you want numbers to communicate or get a point across, when you have a zillion words? (Of course there are exceptions where numbers describe a situation very efficiently, like 'Hey, how was it yesterday?' can get a reply 'Was a 69').
I just don't get the rationale, if there's any. If people do it just for the pseud value, and feel that doing so makes them look cool, they're statistically stupid. (Yeah, I've done too much of stats last sem, I needed to use it somewhere). Of course, people change only when they have a self realization. Not that all this is wrong, it's just that I'm personally irritated, and blogger's been very nice to listen to me.
And yeah, if you're chronically affected by this, you'll probably end up typing a disastrous statement like 'b4 u cum here, i ll cum there', which can make/break relationships forever.
4/30/2006
Aah..choo..
It's 42 degrees.
And I have a terrible cold.
And I'm sneezing so hard, I feel I'm lifting off the ground.
And I have a terrible cold.
And I'm sneezing so hard, I feel I'm lifting off the ground.
4/23/2006
City-Village
Having witnessed rural and urban lives, there are stark differences I notice.
1. In a village, the road is only for walking. Not for driving. In fact, you are the owner of all roads, provided you don't own a vehicle. You can still drive, if you don't mind going at 5 kmph in a Hyundai. All those miracles of the car getting a dent and the pedestrian escaping unhurt, which you read in papers, happen here.
2. In a village, parking ain't a problem. What's the road for, after all?
3. If you happen to be born as an animal (read cow) in future, please take your share of the road here. In a city, you can't - You'll be run over nine million times by autos, whose drivers perceive you as being camouflaged with the road.
4. In a village, if you have 5 bucks, you can have a sumptuous meal. In a city, you can probably use it for a pay urinal, with the only satisfaction that you hear a ' Hi baby. You can ** here. No, no, not there. Here ' with a seductive voice. And you can fantasize about her for the next 45 nights. Till your AllOut gets over.
5. If you need to travel a couple of kilometers, in a village you don't have a problem at all. Just join the hundred others taking the walk. In a city however, you can either pay 2 bucks and catch a running bus. Or pay 50 bucks, and get into an auto. Or walk, and get run over by an auto.
6. In a village, you need legs to travel. In a city, hands are enough. You can hold the window of a bus and hang from it peacefully.
7. In a city, bill stickers are prosecuted. In a village, prosecutors are bill stickers.
8. In a village, you can stand at a place for hours, think about things. In a city too, you can, if you can manage an interruption every second minute with a 'Saaaar. Auto saaaar?'. Usually this doesn't happen, and you end up feeing it's better off getting into an auto and thinking. Only that you slip out silently at the next signal, which leads to a confusion amongst public when the fellow realizes this a hundred metres down the road on a flyover, and gets down and starts abusing the air.
9. In a city, if you own a music cassette, it solely belongs to you. You make sure no one hears what you've paid for, and buy a walkman for 500 bucks. In a village, you force a Christian to listen to 'Bhaja Govindam', playing it in your shop at 500 Db.
10. If you're absolutely without a job, and you're in a village, you can appoint yourself to be a security at any shop, keeping 100 stones in your pocket to drive away dogs and cows. (You actually waste some by throwing them at ants). If you're in a city, you can appoint yourself as an accident moderator, and wait all day for accidents to happen, and tell a party that it was his/her fault. In case no accidents happen, disguise yourself as a policeman, and stop a Premier Padmini going at 15 kmph, and convince others that it was going at 115, thus getting money. Oh, this'll work only if you've got a pot belly.
To be continued, perhaps.
1. In a village, the road is only for walking. Not for driving. In fact, you are the owner of all roads, provided you don't own a vehicle. You can still drive, if you don't mind going at 5 kmph in a Hyundai. All those miracles of the car getting a dent and the pedestrian escaping unhurt, which you read in papers, happen here.
2. In a village, parking ain't a problem. What's the road for, after all?
3. If you happen to be born as an animal (read cow) in future, please take your share of the road here. In a city, you can't - You'll be run over nine million times by autos, whose drivers perceive you as being camouflaged with the road.
4. In a village, if you have 5 bucks, you can have a sumptuous meal. In a city, you can probably use it for a pay urinal, with the only satisfaction that you hear a ' Hi baby. You can ** here. No, no, not there. Here ' with a seductive voice. And you can fantasize about her for the next 45 nights. Till your AllOut gets over.
5. If you need to travel a couple of kilometers, in a village you don't have a problem at all. Just join the hundred others taking the walk. In a city however, you can either pay 2 bucks and catch a running bus. Or pay 50 bucks, and get into an auto. Or walk, and get run over by an auto.
6. In a village, you need legs to travel. In a city, hands are enough. You can hold the window of a bus and hang from it peacefully.
7. In a city, bill stickers are prosecuted. In a village, prosecutors are bill stickers.
8. In a village, you can stand at a place for hours, think about things. In a city too, you can, if you can manage an interruption every second minute with a 'Saaaar. Auto saaaar?'. Usually this doesn't happen, and you end up feeing it's better off getting into an auto and thinking. Only that you slip out silently at the next signal, which leads to a confusion amongst public when the fellow realizes this a hundred metres down the road on a flyover, and gets down and starts abusing the air.
9. In a city, if you own a music cassette, it solely belongs to you. You make sure no one hears what you've paid for, and buy a walkman for 500 bucks. In a village, you force a Christian to listen to 'Bhaja Govindam', playing it in your shop at 500 Db.
10. If you're absolutely without a job, and you're in a village, you can appoint yourself to be a security at any shop, keeping 100 stones in your pocket to drive away dogs and cows. (You actually waste some by throwing them at ants). If you're in a city, you can appoint yourself as an accident moderator, and wait all day for accidents to happen, and tell a party that it was his/her fault. In case no accidents happen, disguise yourself as a policeman, and stop a Premier Padmini going at 15 kmph, and convince others that it was going at 115, thus getting money. Oh, this'll work only if you've got a pot belly.
To be continued, perhaps.
4/19/2006
Hmm.
The 26 credit semester is taking it's toll on me. Completely. The last 3 weeks have been so futile. I've lost whatever little enthu I had to go to classes. It's been more than a month since I attended a class with concentration. The courses seem such a waste, again. I have no idea how we're supposed to be Mechanical Engineers with the courses being conducted the way they are right now. Others feel the same too, perhaps. For, in the last two days we've made two profs walk out. The end sems are a week away. And the amount to be mugged cannot be said or written in words. I was just wondering - If I were to be interviewed or something in this semester's portions, it would make nothing more than a nice comedy act.
Math(Statistics)- Some N hajjar methods. I don't know where to use what. Or what to use where. Am not even sure if the above 2 statements imply the same here.
Dynamics of Machinery - I still can't define a gear. Or a cam. Or a mechanism for that matter. But I surely have been able to memorize the colours and the brands of the big man's shirts. He sure has a good dressing sense. I appreciate that too.
Fluid Mechanics - After a whole course, if you ask me what the Navier Stokes equations are, all I can say is 'They're big equations to solve the pressure and the velocity characteristics of a fluid flow. Or something like that'.
Instrumentation and control - The other day, I came across this question -
'What're the basic characteristics of an instrument?'
Needless to say, I still haven't figured it out.
Materials and Design - Ask me ' Which amongst Copper and Iron has a higher modulus' and all you might hear is a 'Fuck you'.
Analog Circuits - I've learnt quite a bit. Mainly, my childhood misconception that a transistor is used to listen to music, has been cleared.
Manufacturing Technology - If you ask me what manufacturing is, I would probably tell you that it's something by which you make things in different shapes. And if you happen to dislike the shape, melt it and make it again. Repeat till you're satisfied. Or finished.
Math(Statistics)- Some N hajjar methods. I don't know where to use what. Or what to use where. Am not even sure if the above 2 statements imply the same here.
Dynamics of Machinery - I still can't define a gear. Or a cam. Or a mechanism for that matter. But I surely have been able to memorize the colours and the brands of the big man's shirts. He sure has a good dressing sense. I appreciate that too.
Fluid Mechanics - After a whole course, if you ask me what the Navier Stokes equations are, all I can say is 'They're big equations to solve the pressure and the velocity characteristics of a fluid flow. Or something like that'.
Instrumentation and control - The other day, I came across this question -
'What're the basic characteristics of an instrument?'
Needless to say, I still haven't figured it out.
Materials and Design - Ask me ' Which amongst Copper and Iron has a higher modulus' and all you might hear is a 'Fuck you'.
Analog Circuits - I've learnt quite a bit. Mainly, my childhood misconception that a transistor is used to listen to music, has been cleared.
Manufacturing Technology - If you ask me what manufacturing is, I would probably tell you that it's something by which you make things in different shapes. And if you happen to dislike the shape, melt it and make it again. Repeat till you're satisfied. Or finished.
4/09/2006
3/30/2006
Shuffling
Shuffling between home and hostel can be a real problem at times.
Reason- You don't adjust your language accordingly.
There have been numerous instances when I just don't realize that I'm at home, and end up speaking just like I do in the hostel. Or just avoid doing so.
Some of the instances I can recollect :
1) When I'm busy mugging
My sister (In 8th std) : Bhaiya, what do you do when someone says 'You're irritating me' continuously and thus irritates you in the process?
Me: Uh..? What?
Sis : Repeats the question
Me (Getting pained) : Show them your middle finger
Sis: Show them whaat?
Me: Oh! Umm.Your index finger, asking him or her to move away.
Shit!
2) When I'm speaking to my friend in the hostel on the phone the day before quiz :
Me: Macha, what all are there to mug da?
Friend : Rolls out a big list
Me : Shit da. Denge denge denge denge denge!
After I keep the phone down,
My mom : You could have said that a couple of times more.
3) One more phone incident. It was Sania I think. I was having the cordless and was walking about. Guests had come home, 4 of them sitting in the hall. I happened to go to the hall just at the wrong moment.
Sania: How's power amplifier da?
Me(Excitedly and loudly) : Total rape. Everyone will get raped. Surely.
All eyes towards me. I freeze.
4) This is one of the worstmax possible. Anybody who's seen AliG's Cannes Po** Festival will empathize with me.
Me (Sitting on the comp talking to myself) : Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete?
(AliG style)
My dad(thinking I'm singing a song) : What sort of a song is this?
Me : Oh, this? Some rap song. Even I don't like it.
Oh shit! Shit! Shit! This is home!
5) And of course, I seem to have taught my sis quite a bit unknowingly. The other day, she was having a conversation with her friend on the phone.
Her friend : Said something which I obviously didn't hear.
My sis : Cock up.
Me(Sitting on the sofa wasting time) : Wtf?!
Later, I call her and ask her - How did you learn that?
She : You only taught me. You told me 'cock up' last week when I was telling you how my teacher praised me.
Me: NO! You're not supposed to use these things for at least...umm..3 years.
She : Cock up.(Just to irritate me)
She ran. Of course I chased her down and made sure she didn't repeat this.
Reason- You don't adjust your language accordingly.
There have been numerous instances when I just don't realize that I'm at home, and end up speaking just like I do in the hostel. Or just avoid doing so.
Some of the instances I can recollect :
1) When I'm busy mugging
My sister (In 8th std) : Bhaiya, what do you do when someone says 'You're irritating me' continuously and thus irritates you in the process?
Me: Uh..? What?
Sis : Repeats the question
Me (Getting pained) : Show them your middle finger
Sis: Show them whaat?
Me: Oh! Umm.Your index finger, asking him or her to move away.
Shit!
2) When I'm speaking to my friend in the hostel on the phone the day before quiz :
Me: Macha, what all are there to mug da?
Friend : Rolls out a big list
Me : Shit da. Denge denge denge denge denge!
After I keep the phone down,
My mom : You could have said that a couple of times more.
3) One more phone incident. It was Sania I think. I was having the cordless and was walking about. Guests had come home, 4 of them sitting in the hall. I happened to go to the hall just at the wrong moment.
Sania: How's power amplifier da?
Me(Excitedly and loudly) : Total rape. Everyone will get raped. Surely.
All eyes towards me. I freeze.
4) This is one of the worstmax possible. Anybody who's seen AliG's Cannes Po** Festival will empathize with me.
Me (Sitting on the comp talking to myself) : Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete? Can you maaastharbaete?
(AliG style)
My dad(thinking I'm singing a song) : What sort of a song is this?
Me : Oh, this? Some rap song. Even I don't like it.
Oh shit! Shit! Shit! This is home!
5) And of course, I seem to have taught my sis quite a bit unknowingly. The other day, she was having a conversation with her friend on the phone.
Her friend : Said something which I obviously didn't hear.
My sis : Cock up.
Me(Sitting on the sofa wasting time) : Wtf?!
Later, I call her and ask her - How did you learn that?
She : You only taught me. You told me 'cock up' last week when I was telling you how my teacher praised me.
Me: NO! You're not supposed to use these things for at least...umm..3 years.
She : Cock up.(Just to irritate me)
She ran. Of course I chased her down and made sure she didn't repeat this.
3/21/2006
Wooof
Things in life never go the way you expect them to. In fact, I feel they go just the opposite way.
Within a matter of 48 hours, I've got myself a summer project at IISc with a prof of International repute, that too in an area which is very interesting, and which I've started loving, Synthesis. (The evil muggo would perhaps beg to differ).
Now, such a prof getting impressed by just your resume and taking you, leads to :
1) Extreme happiness, almost making you forget that there's a quiz the next day.
2) Extreme boasting, as I'm doing now.
Will write a post sometime later regarding this, the damn quizzes are on.
Within a matter of 48 hours, I've got myself a summer project at IISc with a prof of International repute, that too in an area which is very interesting, and which I've started loving, Synthesis. (The evil muggo would perhaps beg to differ).
Now, such a prof getting impressed by just your resume and taking you, leads to :
1) Extreme happiness, almost making you forget that there's a quiz the next day.
2) Extreme boasting, as I'm doing now.
Will write a post sometime later regarding this, the damn quizzes are on.
3/19/2006
Mechanica 2006
Mechanica 2006 is happening on 1st and 2nd April. It's the annual fest of the Department of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras. I'm organizing this event here. Also, the article I wrote for Chennai Online can be found here : Mechanica 2006
So, please tell all your friends !
Cash prizes upto 2 lakhs to be won!
And travel reimbursement for all design contest finalists!
And here's to the Evil Muggo, who became a core member of Shaastra 2006! One of the rare occasions in IITM history a second yearite's becoming a core. Way to go !
So, please tell all your friends !
Cash prizes upto 2 lakhs to be won!
And travel reimbursement for all design contest finalists!
And here's to the Evil Muggo, who became a core member of Shaastra 2006! One of the rare occasions in IITM history a second yearite's becoming a core. Way to go !
3/14/2006
Mail Forwards
Now, who likes them? Please tell me. Especially the ones which haplessly attempt to thrust bad luck. The shocking part being that some come from 20 year olds. It makes me want to jump out of my skin and slap the person who started it(The only other thing that makes me want to do so is a line of a tamil song ' Oh my Kadavule'). I mean, why don't people stop sending these forwards that don't mean a shit.
If you don't send this to 10 persons within 5 hours, you'll lose your love.
If you don't send this at least to 20 persons, you'll lose your job.
What crap.
My only act of guilt was 10 days back, when I thought of doing it once. Just once. Never in my life have I forwarded such stuff. And the mail I forwarded said ' If you send this to 5 people in the next 12 hours, you'll have good luck for your entire life'. Exactly 12 hours later, I found my name on the attendance shortage list in D slot, that too by chance. My personal vengeance thus adding to this, I'm creating a mail forward message:
If you do not send this mail to atleast 10 persons:
If you're a man, you'll become a woman. Vice versa. Your legs and hands will exchange places. Your genitals will be auctioned for 123 cents. Scorpions will bite you all over and you'll swell up and become a hot air balloon. You'll be a termite in your next life. You'll start pissing only Antimony Hydroxide. Your son will be Miss World. You'll be sent to prison for a year with only a photo of Mayawati in your cell. You'll marry Yokozuna. You'll also get to sleep with Vitto. And of course you'll be cast, forged, rolled, shaped and melted just before you die.
If you send this to 10 persons :
If you're a man, you'll stay so. If you're a woman, you might turn into a man. Men will get to sleep with JLo, Laetitia Casta, Gisele Bundchen, and Salma Hayek on the same night. Women will get a new Jupiter silk pillow to sleep with. You'll be George Bush 123rd in your next life. Your son will be JEE AIR 1 when he's 1 month old. You'll piss Pepsi. You'll hence become a millionare. You'll get the Nobel Prize for discovering a new planet when you're high on Vodka. Your son will marry Karunanidhi's granddaughter. Your daughter will marry Jayalalita's grandson. And of course you'll be sleeping when you realize you're actually dead.
Copyright Product of CB. Whoever wants to forward this must pay CB 123 rupees.
If you don't send this to 10 persons within 5 hours, you'll lose your love.
If you don't send this at least to 20 persons, you'll lose your job.
What crap.
My only act of guilt was 10 days back, when I thought of doing it once. Just once. Never in my life have I forwarded such stuff. And the mail I forwarded said ' If you send this to 5 people in the next 12 hours, you'll have good luck for your entire life'. Exactly 12 hours later, I found my name on the attendance shortage list in D slot, that too by chance. My personal vengeance thus adding to this, I'm creating a mail forward message:
If you do not send this mail to atleast 10 persons:
If you're a man, you'll become a woman. Vice versa. Your legs and hands will exchange places. Your genitals will be auctioned for 123 cents. Scorpions will bite you all over and you'll swell up and become a hot air balloon. You'll be a termite in your next life. You'll start pissing only Antimony Hydroxide. Your son will be Miss World. You'll be sent to prison for a year with only a photo of Mayawati in your cell. You'll marry Yokozuna. You'll also get to sleep with Vitto. And of course you'll be cast, forged, rolled, shaped and melted just before you die.
If you send this to 10 persons :
If you're a man, you'll stay so. If you're a woman, you might turn into a man. Men will get to sleep with JLo, Laetitia Casta, Gisele Bundchen, and Salma Hayek on the same night. Women will get a new Jupiter silk pillow to sleep with. You'll be George Bush 123rd in your next life. Your son will be JEE AIR 1 when he's 1 month old. You'll piss Pepsi. You'll hence become a millionare. You'll get the Nobel Prize for discovering a new planet when you're high on Vodka. Your son will marry Karunanidhi's granddaughter. Your daughter will marry Jayalalita's grandson. And of course you'll be sleeping when you realize you're actually dead.
Copyright Product of CB. Whoever wants to forward this must pay CB 123 rupees.
3/12/2006
Man, what a day!
Now, today's match was just what I would call cricket.
Amazing. Glorious. Exceptional. Magnificent. Outstanding. Pathbreaking. Shattering. Mindblowing. Phenomenal. Flabbergasting.
Call it what you want. I'm lost.
Today's a landmark day. 2 reasons.
1. South Africa monstrously chased down 434 in an ODI equally monstrously made by Australia.
2. First time in life, I nearly pissed following a match on the comp(Rediff to be precise).
How many times in your life do you get to see this scorecard -
Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R
South Africa team: M Ntini, A Hall , J Wath, R Telemachus, *G Smith, J Kallis, J Kemp , B Dippenaar , A Villiers, H Gibbs, M Boucher, J Peterson(SS)
Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 16-20 ovs
In reply, South Africa's
Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R
Australia team: B Lee, N Bracken, S Clark, M Lewis, A Symonds, M Clarke, B Hogg(SS), D Martyn, M Hussey, S Katich, A Gilchrist, *R Ponting
Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 24-28 ovs
Super sub: SA won by 1 wkt
Just have a look at the Strike Rate column in both. What more does one want..! Right now, my hands are jittery even to write a long post. So, I can best summarize the match ending with the chat session I had with PG, who also happened to follow the match on the comp.
Karthik Narayanan: What the fuck is happening in cricket man..?!
9:08 PM Deepu: something very interesting, for sure..
Karthik: macha..
don't you watch criclet
ket
9:09 PM
Deepu: i'm following the match
on the comp
Karthik: fuckin shit da.!
Deepu: yup
Karthik: what the fuck.
look at how they're hitting
Deepu: too much stuff to take
d-day for cricket history
Karthik: ya..
Deepu: 800 runs in a day !!!
Karthik: even these guys are crossing 400
packax only.
studmax.
gibbs..what level da.
Deepu: prev highest score was 398 by pak, rt?
Karthik: no..lanka
Deepu: ok.. it was 398?
Karthik: ya
Deepu: SA is getting close to reaching that, at least
Karthik: ya..
surely
Deepu: 398, da...
they made it
Karthik: yey!!
Deepu: 399
man.. this is going somewhere...
Karthik: ya da..studmax..
Deepu: shit.. wicket
Karthik: ya..fuck
fuck
fuck
Deepu: they crossed it da....
Karthik: ya
411
Deepu: man.. this is too much...
Karthik: 415
fuck
fuck
Deepu: 6-6-4
Karthik: which over are you talkin about
?
Deepu: fuck.. what if they actually win?
the jump in scors,da..
Karthik: oh..k..wait
lets see.
Deepu: which site r u using?
Karthik: rediff
Deepu: rediff cupped for me...
Karthik: even here''now it's cupping
Deepu: i'm using sify now.. but it's too slow
Karthik: 418
need 17 from 13
fuck
fuck!
Deepu: shit ,da
making the highest runs ever and losing would be too much for aus
Karthik: ya..!
sexy man
lets wait
Deepu: yup
Karthik: keeping fingers crossed
Deepu: hmm.. who would u bet on? ;)
Karthik: aus da.
this has happened before
world cup
Deepu: man.. i just love SA
Karthik: i croed
cried
fuck
Deepu: 422
Karthik: 423
Deepu: 2 overs to go
Karthik: need 12 off 11
!!!!
Deepu: so.. 13 off 12
Karthik: no..12 of 11
tats what espnstar says
Deepu: ok... maybe i'm not having the latest..
yup..
Karthik: macha..this is something da.
Deepu: not just something..
everything in cricket is happenning there now...
Karthik: fuck
wicket
Deepu: shit
another wicket
Karthik: ayyo..
lets wait
Deepu: yup
Karthik: 9 of 8.
dan
damn
Deepu: macha u make 434 and then having to struggle to win !!!! never in the history of cricket has anything like this happenned...
Karthik: ya..i know..
this is cricket man
Deepu: shit
Karthik: world's best 2 teams
fighting it out
i love it
7 of last over
fuck fuck fuck!!!
fuck!
Deepu: wow
Karthik: i'm getting goosebumps da.
fuck
Deepu: heehee
just a 6 to tie it....
Karthik: ya!!
Deepu: it's gonna be tough for aus..
Karthik: hope they win man
lets see
same thing happend in world cup
semifinal
they needed 1 of 1
Deepu: ya
Karthik: and they lost
Deepu: sa lost it, na
Karthik: ya
Deepu: i mean tie,
Karthik: 6 of 5.
Deepu: but sa was kicked out
Karthik: ya ya
corrrect
Deepu: k
Karthik: 6 of 5.
Deepu: something happenned
Karthik: what.?
wicket maybe
Deepu: i hear shouts from comm room
Karthik: fuck
i think they won
sa won is it??
Deepu: lemme see
any info?
Karthik: no da.
Deepu: 2 off 4
Karthik: some probem
2 of 4..!!
they need 2 of 4..1
!
Deepu: man !!!
fuck man.. what a score to chase
Karthik: fuck da..
this is seriously god level..
Deepu: ob
more shouts
looks like they won...
Karthik: they won is it.?
no..!!
fuck
fuck it.
wicket!
Deepu: looks like that....
Karthik: damn..fuck it
Deepu: oh shit
Karthik: fuck
Deepu: fuck man !!
that's all that was needed
more shouts
Karthik: 2 of 3.
Deepu: what now
Karthik: 2 of 3.
whats happening
tie..1
tie!!
tie!!
1 of 2..!
Deepu: fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too much
Karthik: 1 of 2!!
fuck
fuck
Deepu: holy shit !!
Karthik: wait.
what happnd
tell me when you hear shouts.
Deepu: dunno
Karthik: tehy won!!
won!!
fuck
Deepu: yup
Karthik: They fucking won!!
yey!!
Deepu: 4 in last ball
Karthik: yey!!
fuckax!
Deepu: macha..............
Karthik: yey man!!
Deepu: too much
Karthik: gawdd level
toooo much'
shit.
i gotto piss.
Deepu: holy shit
Karthik: this was something unimaginab;e
goddammit
i love this
Deepu: highest chasing total !!!!!
Karthik: ya..!
fuck..! oh god.
chalo..nice match chatting we had
:D
good nite..
Deepu: g'nite da...
Karthik: nite!
The spirit of cricket captured.
Amazing. Glorious. Exceptional. Magnificent. Outstanding. Pathbreaking. Shattering. Mindblowing. Phenomenal. Flabbergasting.
Call it what you want. I'm lost.
Today's a landmark day. 2 reasons.
1. South Africa monstrously chased down 434 in an ODI equally monstrously made by Australia.
2. First time in life, I nearly pissed following a match on the comp(Rediff to be precise).
How many times in your life do you get to see this scorecard -
Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R
| Australia | 434-4 (50) | Runs | Balls | 4s | 6s | SR | |
| A Gilchrist | c Hall b Telemachus | 55 | 44 | 9 | 0 | 125.00 | |
| S Katich | c Telemachus b Ntini | 79 | 90 | 9 | 1 | 87.78 | |
| *R Ponting | c Dippenaar b Telemachus | 164 | 105 | 13 | 9 | 156.19 | |
| M Hussey | c Ntini b Hall | 81 | 51 | 9 | 3 | 158.82 | |
| A Symonds | not out | 27 | 13 | 3 | 1 | 207.69 | |
| B Lee | not out | 9 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 128.57 | |
| D Martyn | | | | | |||
| M Clarke | | | | | |||
| N Bracken | | | | | |||
| S Clark | | | | | |||
| M Lewis | | | | | |||
| B Hogg(SS) | | | | | |||
| Extras: 19 ( b:0 lb:4 nb:10 w:5) | |||||||
| Total: 434-4 (50) | Curr. RR: 8.68 | |||||||
| FOW: A Gilchrist (97-1, 15.2), S Katich (216-2, 30.3), M Hussey (374-3, 46.1), *R Ponting (407-4, 47.4) | |||||||
| South Africa | O | M | R | W | Nb | Wd | RPO | |
| M Ntini | 9 | 0 | 80 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 8.89 | |
| A Hall | 10 | 0 | 80 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 8.00 | |
| J Wath | 10 | 0 | 76 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 7.60 | |
| R Telemachus | 10 | 1 | 87 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 8.70 | |
| *G Smith | 4 | 0 | 29 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7.25 | |
| J Kallis | 6 | 0 | 70 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 11.67 | |
| J Kemp | 1 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 8.00 | |
South Africa team: M Ntini, A Hall , J Wath, R Telemachus, *G Smith, J Kallis, J Kemp , B Dippenaar , A Villiers, H Gibbs, M Boucher, J Peterson(SS)
Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 16-20 ovs
In reply, South Africa's
Player Runs Balls 4's 6's S.R
| South Africa | 438-9 (49.5) | Runs | Balls | 4s | 6s | SR | |
| *G Smith | c Hussey b Clarke | 90 | 55 | 13 | 2 | 163.64 | |
| B Dippenaar | b Bracken | 1 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 14.29 | |
| H Gibbs | c Lee b Symonds | 175 | 111 | 21 | 7 | 157.66 | |
| A Villiers | c Clarke b Bracken | 14 | 20 | 1 | 0 | 70.00 | |
| J Kallis | c and b Symonds | 20 | 21 | 1 | 0 | 95.24 | |
| M Boucher | not out | 50 | 43 | 4 | 0 | 116.28 | |
| J Kemp | c Martyn b Bracken | 13 | 17 | 0 | 0 | 76.47 | |
| J Wath | c Ponting b Bracken | 35 | 18 | 1 | 3 | 194.44 | |
| R Telemachus | c Hussey b Bracken | 12 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 200.00 | |
| A Hall | c Clarke b Lee | 7 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 175.00 | |
| M Ntini | not out | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 100.00 | |
| J Peterson(SS) | | | | | |||
| Extras: 20 ( b:4 lb:8 nb:4 w:4) | |||||||
| Total: 438-9 (49.5) | Curr. RR: 8.79 | |||||||
| FOW: B Dippenaar (3-1, 1.2), *G Smith (190-2, 22.1), A Villiers (284-3, 30.5), H Gibbs (299-4, 31.5), J Kallis (327-5, 37.4), J Kemp (355-6, 42.1), J Wath (399-7, 46.3), R Telemachus (423-8, 48.2), A Hall (433-9, 49.3) | |||||||
| Australia | O | M | R | W | Nb | Wd | RPO | |
| B Lee | 7.5 | 0 | 68 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 8.68 | |
| N Bracken | 10 | 0 | 67 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6.70 | |
| S Clark | 6 | 0 | 54 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9.00 | |
| M Lewis | 10 | 0 | 113 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 11.30 | |
| A Symonds | 9 | 0 | 75 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 8.33 | |
| M Clarke | 7 | 0 | 49 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7.00 | |
Australia team: B Lee, N Bracken, S Clark, M Lewis, A Symonds, M Clarke, B Hogg(SS), D Martyn, M Hussey, S Katich, A Gilchrist, *R Ponting
Powerplay 1: 1-10 ovs, 2: 11-15 ovs, 3: 24-28 ovs
Super sub: SA won by 1 wkt
Just have a look at the Strike Rate column in both. What more does one want..! Right now, my hands are jittery even to write a long post. So, I can best summarize the match ending with the chat session I had with PG, who also happened to follow the match on the comp.
Karthik Narayanan: What the fuck is happening in cricket man..?!
9:08 PM Deepu: something very interesting, for sure..
Karthik: macha..
don't you watch criclet
ket
9:09 PM
Deepu: i'm following the match
on the comp
Karthik: fuckin shit da.!
Deepu: yup
Karthik: what the fuck.
look at how they're hitting
Deepu: too much stuff to take
d-day for cricket history
Karthik: ya..
Deepu: 800 runs in a day !!!
Karthik: even these guys are crossing 400
packax only.
studmax.
gibbs..what level da.
Deepu: prev highest score was 398 by pak, rt?
Karthik: no..lanka
Deepu: ok.. it was 398?
Karthik: ya
Deepu: SA is getting close to reaching that, at least
Karthik: ya..
surely
Deepu: 398, da...
they made it
Karthik: yey!!
Deepu: 399
man.. this is going somewhere...
Karthik: ya da..studmax..
Deepu: shit.. wicket
Karthik: ya..fuck
fuck
fuck
Deepu: they crossed it da....
Karthik: ya
411
Deepu: man.. this is too much...
Karthik: 415
fuck
fuck
Deepu: 6-6-4
Karthik: which over are you talkin about
?
Deepu: fuck.. what if they actually win?
the jump in scors,da..
Karthik: oh..k..wait
lets see.
Deepu: which site r u using?
Karthik: rediff
Deepu: rediff cupped for me...
Karthik: even here''now it's cupping
Deepu: i'm using sify now.. but it's too slow
Karthik: 418
need 17 from 13
fuck
fuck!
Deepu: shit ,da
making the highest runs ever and losing would be too much for aus
Karthik: ya..!
sexy man
lets wait
Deepu: yup
Karthik: keeping fingers crossed
Deepu: hmm.. who would u bet on? ;)
Karthik: aus da.
this has happened before
world cup
Deepu: man.. i just love SA
Karthik: i croed
cried
fuck
Deepu: 422
Karthik: 423
Deepu: 2 overs to go
Karthik: need 12 off 11
!!!!
Deepu: so.. 13 off 12
Karthik: no..12 of 11
tats what espnstar says
Deepu: ok... maybe i'm not having the latest..
yup..
Karthik: macha..this is something da.
Deepu: not just something..
everything in cricket is happenning there now...
Karthik: fuck
wicket
Deepu: shit
another wicket
Karthik: ayyo..
lets wait
Deepu: yup
Karthik: 9 of 8.
dan
damn
Deepu: macha u make 434 and then having to struggle to win !!!! never in the history of cricket has anything like this happenned...
Karthik: ya..i know..
this is cricket man
Deepu: shit
Karthik: world's best 2 teams
fighting it out
i love it
7 of last over
fuck fuck fuck!!!
fuck!
Deepu: wow
Karthik: i'm getting goosebumps da.
fuck
Deepu: heehee
just a 6 to tie it....
Karthik: ya!!
Deepu: it's gonna be tough for aus..
Karthik: hope they win man
lets see
same thing happend in world cup
semifinal
they needed 1 of 1
Deepu: ya
Karthik: and they lost
Deepu: sa lost it, na
Karthik: ya
Deepu: i mean tie,
Karthik: 6 of 5.
Deepu: but sa was kicked out
Karthik: ya ya
corrrect
Deepu: k
Karthik: 6 of 5.
Deepu: something happenned
Karthik: what.?
wicket maybe
Deepu: i hear shouts from comm room
Karthik: fuck
i think they won
sa won is it??
Deepu: lemme see
any info?
Karthik: no da.
Deepu: 2 off 4
Karthik: some probem
2 of 4..!!
they need 2 of 4..1
!
Deepu: man !!!
fuck man.. what a score to chase
Karthik: fuck da..
this is seriously god level..
Deepu: ob
more shouts
looks like they won...
Karthik: they won is it.?
no..!!
fuck
fuck it.
wicket!
Deepu: looks like that....
Karthik: damn..fuck it
Deepu: oh shit
Karthik: fuck
Deepu: fuck man !!
that's all that was needed
more shouts
Karthik: 2 of 3.
Deepu: what now
Karthik: 2 of 3.
whats happening
tie..1
tie!!
tie!!
1 of 2..!
Deepu: fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too much
Karthik: 1 of 2!!
fuck
fuck
Deepu: holy shit !!
Karthik: wait.
what happnd
tell me when you hear shouts.
Deepu: dunno
Karthik: tehy won!!
won!!
fuck
Deepu: yup
Karthik: They fucking won!!
yey!!
Deepu: 4 in last ball
Karthik: yey!!
fuckax!
Deepu: macha..............
Karthik: yey man!!
Deepu: too much
Karthik: gawdd level
toooo much'
shit.
i gotto piss.
Deepu: holy shit
Karthik: this was something unimaginab;e
goddammit
i love this
Deepu: highest chasing total !!!!!
Karthik: ya..!
fuck..! oh god.
chalo..nice match chatting we had
:D
good nite..
Deepu: g'nite da...
Karthik: nite!
The spirit of cricket captured.
3/09/2006
Lampooning - One more
You can perhaps read this if you havn't already.
Ms D
She's continuing from where Mr D left. She too has a lot of credentials. She's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the only human to mug Ogata and recite it in reverse. She holds another record for the 'Fastest Speaker' when she read out the entire Bible in one hour flat. She's the first Indian Professor to detect proxies by measuring time lag, and relating it with confidence of the answer. She's also the first human victim of fatigue loading. Infact, spectroscopy samples of her ball and socket joint are being used to teach fatigue loading effects at MIT.
She believes that the answer to Universe, Life and Everything is a Laplace Transform. The most famous statement of her being ' If the function G(S) under consideration is a rational function of S, then the total number of poles is equal to number of zeroes counting the multiple order poles and zeroes if the poles and zeroes at infinity and at zero are taken into account', which caused rearrangement of a few neurons in students, who had to be admitted to the Taramani International Medical Institute. She almost lost her job when she said something like Van't Hoff discovered Photoelectric Efffect.
Ms D
She's continuing from where Mr D left. She too has a lot of credentials. She's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the only human to mug Ogata and recite it in reverse. She holds another record for the 'Fastest Speaker' when she read out the entire Bible in one hour flat. She's the first Indian Professor to detect proxies by measuring time lag, and relating it with confidence of the answer. She's also the first human victim of fatigue loading. Infact, spectroscopy samples of her ball and socket joint are being used to teach fatigue loading effects at MIT.
She believes that the answer to Universe, Life and Everything is a Laplace Transform. The most famous statement of her being ' If the function G(S) under consideration is a rational function of S, then the total number of poles is equal to number of zeroes counting the multiple order poles and zeroes if the poles and zeroes at infinity and at zero are taken into account', which caused rearrangement of a few neurons in students, who had to be admitted to the Taramani International Medical Institute. She almost lost her job when she said something like Van't Hoff discovered Photoelectric Efffect.
3/05/2006
Pained
The greatest weak point in me of late is my arrogant decision making. It was a fine morning in November, when my good friend P approached me telling me about this for summer internship to be held here. I as usual, thought about it for 5 odd minutes, called up the evil muggu and discussed, immediately told P that as anyways I was aiming for an MBA, it served no purpose to do a research intern there, so I would probably do it in some company. But after 3 months, I got a feedback that interns in companies are all name sake. And you learn hajjar more if you're working under a prof, in which case IISc would have been indispensable. And today the list came out. P obviously got through, he's a maths GOD. 2 others, M and K who applied from Mech got through. Which means I would have peacefully got through had I applied. Duh. I should probably think twice before making any decision. Also, a lesson learnt - Apply for every damn thing. Do not choose while applying.
On a lighter note, today was the umpteenth time the barber told me to 'lower myself and sit' while having a haircut, as I'm apparently too tall. I jus got so pissed, I piled up all my anger and told him ' Sir, the distance between my 'bottom' and head is fixed. As I'm not an ape, and can sit only on my 'bottom', I cannot lower myself and sit. Please understand'. Duh.
On a lighter note, today was the umpteenth time the barber told me to 'lower myself and sit' while having a haircut, as I'm apparently too tall. I jus got so pissed, I piled up all my anger and told him ' Sir, the distance between my 'bottom' and head is fixed. As I'm not an ape, and can sit only on my 'bottom', I cannot lower myself and sit. Please understand'. Duh.
2/26/2006
Goody feeling
The last 3 days were pretty eventful. After 2 days of racking my brains, running around, getting feedbacks and opinions, I finally decided to minor in Financial Management. And I hope to get it.
Herd mentality again showed up. People taking Operations Research left and right, without having the faintest of ideas what it's about. I fell for it pretty much too, in the beginning, until my good friend reminded me of this. I had to rethink. And finally, to my happiness now, I chose FM. This was initially greeted with disappointment at home, the argument being ' You should learn Tech when you're at a Tech Institute'. Anyways, now it's fine, and they're happy too. I'm actually very excited about this. Much more than I was when I came here. Dunno why. (A bit sad though as I've unofficially ruled myself out of contention for the Lehman Intern next year)
After all this hullabaloo, I went on a trip with parents to a few temples near my native place, and around Pondicherry. I seriously had a fantastic time! It felt so good to be amidst people who simplify life greatly. Which puts me to shame. On one hand we're here, thinking of when to have the next pizza, cribbing about shortage of time. On the other hand, there are these people who lead such placid lives, work 365 days a year, without a tantrum. Such starkly different from ours. Kids playing around in sand, not worrying which book is better. Ladies going around in fields, with pots of water, not shopping for clothes. Men selling stuff for a measly 2 bucks, no bargaining for a one fourth reduction. This visit also reminded me how regularly I used to go temples to when I was young, and how complacent I've become of late. The roll numbers I used to leave behind in those temple walls seems a thing of the past. The Kalkandu which I use to eat so excitedly is forgotten. How life moves on!
If there's something that can make me shed a tear, it's nostalgia.
Herd mentality again showed up. People taking Operations Research left and right, without having the faintest of ideas what it's about. I fell for it pretty much too, in the beginning, until my good friend reminded me of this. I had to rethink. And finally, to my happiness now, I chose FM. This was initially greeted with disappointment at home, the argument being ' You should learn Tech when you're at a Tech Institute'. Anyways, now it's fine, and they're happy too. I'm actually very excited about this. Much more than I was when I came here. Dunno why. (A bit sad though as I've unofficially ruled myself out of contention for the Lehman Intern next year)
After all this hullabaloo, I went on a trip with parents to a few temples near my native place, and around Pondicherry. I seriously had a fantastic time! It felt so good to be amidst people who simplify life greatly. Which puts me to shame. On one hand we're here, thinking of when to have the next pizza, cribbing about shortage of time. On the other hand, there are these people who lead such placid lives, work 365 days a year, without a tantrum. Such starkly different from ours. Kids playing around in sand, not worrying which book is better. Ladies going around in fields, with pots of water, not shopping for clothes. Men selling stuff for a measly 2 bucks, no bargaining for a one fourth reduction. This visit also reminded me how regularly I used to go temples to when I was young, and how complacent I've become of late. The roll numbers I used to leave behind in those temple walls seems a thing of the past. The Kalkandu which I use to eat so excitedly is forgotten. How life moves on!
If there's something that can make me shed a tear, it's nostalgia.
2/17/2006
Lampooning
Yes. Thats what this post basically aims to do. I would go through a few aspects and details of my profs this sem, exposing many of their great achievements, which have remained in the dark for so many years. A few of my Mech classmates demanded some entertainment, and this is all I can do. Others can nevertheless be imaginative enough to create images of profs in mind.
Lets start on!
1) Ms A
Why she still calls herself Ms remains an unsolved puzzle. Infact, the HOD of our maths department is considering to publish this as an apparent paradox, and as a million dollar problem. Also, she claims that she is the only woman to have understood Einstein's Space Time relations. Sadly, nobody pays any heed to her claim because she thinks that this theory implies that you shouldn't waste time in class. She has also won the 'Fastest Indian speaker' award. Otherwise, a pretty normal lady.
Maa'm, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun.... Kidding.
2) Dr B
Here is the big man himself. He is a renowned person in Vibrations and Machine noise control. His trick to have got him this famous is that machines stop making noise when he's around. To put it simply, they sleep. Now why they sleep when he's around still remains a hot topic of research, especially at Cornell. Infact, several pharma companies have sued him for allegedly reducing their market production and sales of sedatives. He still faces several charges on ' Attempted murder by monotone voice control'. His Phd thesis titled ' Going through the exercise of a 5 dimensional Grashoff mechanism with 1 link fixed, nothin fancy about it' was world famous. Also, he's the heaviest professor alive, and has a bad reputation of having broken 742 benches in Class room complex alone. Owing to the same reason, he cannot take even 2 continuous classes as his legs fail him.
Sir, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun. You're a stud.
3) Dr C
God of all gods. Recently conferred the title of 'Concept King' by the Royal British Association of Old Fluid engineers. This man holds many many records and distinctions. He holds the IITM record for having breathed most of its air, for 45 years. He also holds the IITM record for the maximum number of years taken to do a Phd-21. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Dimensional Analysis. Infact, his Phd thesis titled ' Dimensional Analysis of Boundary layer theory for viscous fluids, in other words, taking into account the Taylor series, or something like that' remains a classic in all of viscous flow theory. He is also credited with the 'Indian with the highest Erdos number' tag, close to infinity, which basically means that all his papers are fraud. He is also the only Indian to have run a marathon through 69 countries, publicizing the Boundary Layer theory. He is also the recipient of the prestigious Lehmann Brothers poetry award for the one liner ' This y is not the same as that y, that is why'. His belief that 'No paradox has a solution' nearly cost him his job, when he uttered it at an International Conference. 'All quantities increase in the positive direction of axes' is one among his many beliefs well known in the scientific community. He is also the propagator of his Bluff philosophy- If you don't know an answer, bluff it.
Sir, if are by any chance reading this....No, that won't happen. Because I'm pretty sure you don't know how to operate a comp.
4) Dr D
He was initially suspected to be a Japanese refugee in India, until recently, when it was known that he's actually a visiting prof from Tokyo. Apparently, he was denied a visa from Tokyo, because the official's details and the voice did not match in the telephonic interview. Only when they reached his home did they know that he was actually a guy. He is also the recipient of the prestigious ' IIT student's sympathy' award for having made a statement that proxy will hurt the sentiment of the other guy. Otherwise very nice.
Sir, if you're reading this, kuosowhaahaahwikoi. (I hope that's something in japanese)
5) Dr F
He supposedly ran out of Nimhans. Was admitted for ' Chronic urge to take classes ' by the IITM elec department. He is of the belief that the answer to universe, life and everything is Analog circuits. He also has wordly knowledge. Citing an example, 'Consider Volleyball, where the players put the ball into the basket'. He treats other departments, especially Mech, close to how he treats his Ambassador. He's the first prof in IITM who is known for blatantly refusing to do research. He was the main reason why the slot system came about in IIT, imposing a maximum limit on the number of classes in a week. Many students have had their hands come out separately because of excessive writing. He is also the reason why the number of piles' cases in students doubled a few years back.Anyways, GOD.
Sir, in case you're reading this, Mech rules.
6) Dr G.
He is known more commonly by the name Sloth LV.. His belief that 'The slower you talk, better the students understand' won him critical acclaim all over the world. He is credited with the tag of the 'First Indian to use Powerpoint in Mantech, unsuccessfully'. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Sand Casting. There are rumours that he's been stopped from presenting conference papers because the Russians get irritated and throw abuses at him. What he's concluded from Einstein's space time relations is that time can always be got back, provided you conserve energy by bunking your own classes.
Sir, if you're reading this, Mantech sucks.
Hmm..thats about it. More to come later, perhaps.
This is all a joke. Please don't take it seriously.
Lets start on!
1) Ms A
Why she still calls herself Ms remains an unsolved puzzle. Infact, the HOD of our maths department is considering to publish this as an apparent paradox, and as a million dollar problem. Also, she claims that she is the only woman to have understood Einstein's Space Time relations. Sadly, nobody pays any heed to her claim because she thinks that this theory implies that you shouldn't waste time in class. She has also won the 'Fastest Indian speaker' award. Otherwise, a pretty normal lady.
Maa'm, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun.... Kidding.
2) Dr B
Here is the big man himself. He is a renowned person in Vibrations and Machine noise control. His trick to have got him this famous is that machines stop making noise when he's around. To put it simply, they sleep. Now why they sleep when he's around still remains a hot topic of research, especially at Cornell. Infact, several pharma companies have sued him for allegedly reducing their market production and sales of sedatives. He still faces several charges on ' Attempted murder by monotone voice control'. His Phd thesis titled ' Going through the exercise of a 5 dimensional Grashoff mechanism with 1 link fixed, nothin fancy about it' was world famous. Also, he's the heaviest professor alive, and has a bad reputation of having broken 742 benches in Class room complex alone. Owing to the same reason, he cannot take even 2 continuous classes as his legs fail him.
Sir, if you by any chance are reading this, it's just for fun. You're a stud.
3) Dr C
God of all gods. Recently conferred the title of 'Concept King' by the Royal British Association of Old Fluid engineers. This man holds many many records and distinctions. He holds the IITM record for having breathed most of its air, for 45 years. He also holds the IITM record for the maximum number of years taken to do a Phd-21. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Dimensional Analysis. Infact, his Phd thesis titled ' Dimensional Analysis of Boundary layer theory for viscous fluids, in other words, taking into account the Taylor series, or something like that' remains a classic in all of viscous flow theory. He is also credited with the 'Indian with the highest Erdos number' tag, close to infinity, which basically means that all his papers are fraud. He is also the only Indian to have run a marathon through 69 countries, publicizing the Boundary Layer theory. He is also the recipient of the prestigious Lehmann Brothers poetry award for the one liner ' This y is not the same as that y, that is why'. His belief that 'No paradox has a solution' nearly cost him his job, when he uttered it at an International Conference. 'All quantities increase in the positive direction of axes' is one among his many beliefs well known in the scientific community. He is also the propagator of his Bluff philosophy- If you don't know an answer, bluff it.
Sir, if are by any chance reading this....No, that won't happen. Because I'm pretty sure you don't know how to operate a comp.
4) Dr D
He was initially suspected to be a Japanese refugee in India, until recently, when it was known that he's actually a visiting prof from Tokyo. Apparently, he was denied a visa from Tokyo, because the official's details and the voice did not match in the telephonic interview. Only when they reached his home did they know that he was actually a guy. He is also the recipient of the prestigious ' IIT student's sympathy' award for having made a statement that proxy will hurt the sentiment of the other guy. Otherwise very nice.
Sir, if you're reading this, kuosowhaahaahwikoi. (I hope that's something in japanese)
5) Dr F
He supposedly ran out of Nimhans. Was admitted for ' Chronic urge to take classes ' by the IITM elec department. He is of the belief that the answer to universe, life and everything is Analog circuits. He also has wordly knowledge. Citing an example, 'Consider Volleyball, where the players put the ball into the basket'. He treats other departments, especially Mech, close to how he treats his Ambassador. He's the first prof in IITM who is known for blatantly refusing to do research. He was the main reason why the slot system came about in IIT, imposing a maximum limit on the number of classes in a week. Many students have had their hands come out separately because of excessive writing. He is also the reason why the number of piles' cases in students doubled a few years back.Anyways, GOD.
Sir, in case you're reading this, Mech rules.
6) Dr G.
He is known more commonly by the name Sloth LV.. His belief that 'The slower you talk, better the students understand' won him critical acclaim all over the world. He is credited with the tag of the 'First Indian to use Powerpoint in Mantech, unsuccessfully'. He believes that the answer to universe, life and everything is Sand Casting. There are rumours that he's been stopped from presenting conference papers because the Russians get irritated and throw abuses at him. What he's concluded from Einstein's space time relations is that time can always be got back, provided you conserve energy by bunking your own classes.
Sir, if you're reading this, Mantech sucks.
Hmm..thats about it. More to come later, perhaps.
This is all a joke. Please don't take it seriously.
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